Tag Archives: relationships

Marrying Outside of God’s Will..

Marriage is a beautiful thing…

It’s God ordained,

Filled with purpose,

& a love like no other.

If we ask The Lord, I believe He will help us when it comes to finding our mate, oshow us who He has in mind that will best suit the journey ahead.

But

What happens?

If God shows you

the one you’re about to marry,

is not “The one”

Do you risk the embarrassment of calling off the wedding? Or do you just suck it up and make the biggest mistake of your life…

Well…

5 years ago,

that was me.

Engaged. 💍

Lost.

Confused.

And about to make a HUGE mistake.

In today’s blog, “Marrying Outside of God’s Will.” I want to share my story with you, and in doing so, I pray it helps you with knowing who “The One” is, & who “The One” isn’t.

Before we get started, I just want to say this, “If you are disobedient and set on doing things Your Way and not The Fathers, you may want to exit right now, as you will probably not like this blog.

As I have said from day one, since: “Three Ways to Know if A Man is Heaven Sent or Hell Sent.” I tell the truth, the whole truth and Nothing but the truth!

Now back to the blog!

1. 😓 CONFUSION 😓

The number one sign we all know that God is not in a thing, is the lack of His Presence and Peace.

When God wants something for you, His Peace will follow it, and when He doesn’t want something for you; He will not breathe on it, nor will He give you peace about it.

No matter how many times you beg or ask Him to change his mind; when it comes to His Will being done in the earth, I have known The Lord to be VERY unyielding…

Trust me on this sis/bro…

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Story Time:

In December of 2013, my first engagement ring was given to me.

The man that gave it to me didn’t propose, he didn’t get down on one knee, or anything. We simply googled wedding rings one night, ordered two rings and decided; We’re going to get married. Our plan was to elope and have a real wedding later.

Proverbs 19:21We may make a lot of plans, but the LORD will do what He has decided. 

I am not sure what happened or what was attached to that engagement ring, but as soon as I put it on, it felt as if the spirit of The Lord left me.

Although His word says,

Deuteronomy 31:6He will never leave us nor forsake us;

Still, whenever we discussed marriage, or I tried to wear my engagement ring, it felt as if The Lord did leave.

One time, I was so vexed in my spirit from wearing it, that I took it off & decided not to wear it until the day we got married. (Yes, I was very foolish back then.) Without even getting all deep & spiritual;

 in the natural,

 I knew this relationship was not God’s best for me! One day we were happy, the next we were upset. Not to mention his insecurities drove me completely up a wall!

Yet, with all his insecurities, anger issues, drug abuse, cheating, manipulative ways & everything else The Lord kept revealing to me ON PURPOSE, (so I could run in the opposite direction); I still proceeded with the wedding.

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Two months after being given the ring, we went to meet with The Pastor who was going to marry us. He said if he counseled us for a few hours, we could get our marriage license at a discounted price.

As we sat down to talk with him about basic marital things, it felt as if a spirit of darkness literally came in the room and sat on my head. I couldn’t think straight, I could barely hear what they were saying, and I couldn’t even answer the Pastors questions.

It felt like I was having an out of body experience, almost as if I wasn’t even there. When the Pastor asked me if I was okay, I smiled, but deep down inside, I knew This was not God’s will for my life.

After the meeting, my groom to be set the date for us to be married. Strangely, the Day we picked to get married, fell on April Fools Day…

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I know..

I know..

Y’all don’t even have to say anything..🤦🏽‍♀️

Even in that, the Lord was showing me, “Your going to be a fool if you get married to this man.”

What makes it even more sad, was the fact I wasn’t even in love with this man. I was simply comfortable and had become used to the routine of being with him.

Since I was not heeding The Lords direction for my life,

The Lord turned things up a notch🔥…

Which brings me to my next point.

2. ⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️

Warning: a statement or event that indicates a possible or impending danger, problem, or other unpleasant situation.

Although I had many warnings prior to these, I’m listing these because they were the ones I could never forget.

1st Warning ⚠️

I remember it just like it was yesterday. I had driven over to my fiancé’s house and told him I would wait there for him until he got off work so we could spend a little time together. He told me he’d left a key for me under the mat so I could let myself in.

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I went into the kitchen and began washing dishes. After about 10 minutes I heard a noise. Since no one was in the house with me, I shrugged it off as nothing.

A few moments later, when I looked up from washing the dishes, standing in the kitchen window was a dark figure with long teeth and red eyes. It stood on the other side of the window laughing at me.

I dropped the last plate in the sink and took off running with tears flowing down my eyes. I ran down the hallway into his bedroom and locked the door, (as if that could protect me from a spirit). After I locked the door, I began to pray. It seemed as if it took hours of me crying and praying before the presence of that Demonic spirit finally left.

2nd Warning ⚠️

The second warning was on one of our famous movie nights. On these nights, we would cuddle, talk and find a funny movie to watch.

On this particular night, I remember him running his fingers through my hair. Although I usually looked away & blushed when he did this; this time however, I didn’t. I stared back into his eyes, and as I did, his whole face changed before me.

The same demonic spirit I’d seen weeks prior, was literally the face I was staring at as I looked at my fiance. After seeing this I scooted ALLL the way to the other side of the bed. When he asked me what was wrong? I told him what I saw. He smiled, assured me it was nothing and we continued to watch TV.

3rd Warning ⚠️

This actually was the last night I slept over at his house. I believe this was the Final Warning from God, and it scared the living day out of me.

We fell asleep after watching Martin and while I slept, I was given a dream from an angel of The Lord.

The Dream:

I was standing inside of this big mansion, it was very beautiful, but it was so broken on the inside, the walls were torn down, the curtains were ripped, and there were even trophies that had my name on them lying on the ground. The trophies were cracked and shattered.

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In the dream, as I looked around this gloomy mansion, my fiancé appeared before me and his skin began to change, He became frail, thin, and boils started to cover his entire body. Suddenly, worms appeared and began to eat up his flesh until he became a skeleton. As he stretched out his hand toward me, calling my name,

I backed away…

A few feet behind my fiance was a figure standing in the hallway. When I looked closer, it was the same demon I had seen in his house while I was washing dishes! Except this time he wasn’t a shadow; he was in full form.  I could see his body, his long fingers and every detail of his face. He was about 10 feet tall!

& just like all the other times,

He stood there…

pointing and laughing at me.

Seeing this, I took off running🏃🏽‍♀️out of this mansion! Other People were running too! But, they were running in the opposite direction. I didn’t understand it.

Then as I was running, suddenly, three tornadoes 🌪 appeared from out of Heaven. The wind was so strong, I tried to hold onto a pole. All throughout this dream there was a red hat that was on my head, but it kept falling off. It fell off three times but the third time, when I tried to reach out and place it back on my head, I couldn’t! The wind whiffed it away.

Immediately, after the red hat flew away, the ground beneath my feet opened up revealing a fire filled pit.

I looked up to The Heavens and screamed “God why?” “Why are you doing this to me?” (Now, why I shouted that to the top of my lungs? I have no clue because, God wasn’t doing anything to me. My disobedience was causing these things to happen. The Lord was simply showing me the outcome of what being disobedient could cost me in the end.)

*Back to the blog*

As I screamed to the Lord, my fingers slipped from the pole I was holding on to, and I fell into this Fiery 🔥 Pit…

I screamed so loud when I woke up from that dream!

When I woke up, there was an angel standing on my side of the bed. And he said,

Warning comes before Destruction.

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His hand was on my right arm and when he removed his hand, a glowing handprint was left on my arm. It took a few minutes before the print disappeared.

After the angel left, I turned over to see my fiancé knocked out cold.

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I grabbed my bag, my clothes, I didn’t even put my shoes on! I got in my car and left his house at 5 am that morning! I did not speak with him for a whole 2 weeks afterward. I didn’t tell him why or anything. I was too shook up and scared to even think about that dream.

Buttttt…..

even after ALL OF THAT...

I still was a fool y’all… 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Instead of leaving the situation like The Lord wanted me to, I kept trying to fix it. I got a whole list together of things we had to stop doing in order for The Lord to bless our union.

By this time,

 I’m pretty sure The Lord wanted to throw a thunderbolt at me, because I was not getting it!

Even with all the confusion, the darkness and the horrible dreams I had, I still tried to fix it! So the Lord was like, “Okay then…Bet! I got something for your disobedient tail!

Then…these began to happen….

3. WORDS OF CONFIRMATION 🗣

🗣 1st Word:

I was on the phone one night with my friend who was being trained for ministry at the time. (He’s a minister now.) Anywho, as we were on the phone talking about everything that was going on in this relationship, he simply said,

Takyah that is not who God has for you.”

I thought 💭 Mhmm.. okay. Since he liked me at the time, I completely ignored him and thought his word of confirmation was biased to his own intentions for me.

🗣 2nd Word:

After hearing what my friend said I scheduled a meeting with my First Lady to talk about this man. I wanted her to specifically tell me this was not who God had for me.

It’s like I kept looking for ways to justify this relationship; even though I knew God wanted me out of it. I wanted a sign to confirm it. Sadly, God’s voice was not enough for me back then.

Although she didn’t tell me he wasn’t my spouse, she did however, give me a simple instruction to follow. She said, “Takyah, stop having sex with him and during this time, ask the Lord to reveal to you who he really is.”

She said, “I see where you have tried to leave him before and right when you were done with the relationship he would have sex with you or manipulate you & you would stay.” “Once you stop being intimate with him, and ask The Lord to reveal to you who he is, I believe you’re going to have the answer you seek.”

Once I did what she said, I definitely noticed a difference. For the first time, I’d began to see him for who he truly was, (not who I wanted him to be) & let’s just say, (now that the blinders were starting to come off), I did not like who I saw.

However… because of the soul tie we already formed from sex, and being emotionally connected for over 2 1/2 years, (we were friends for 2 years before we started dating) still, it wasn’t enough to make me leave.

But the next Word of Confirmation was…

🗣 3rd Word:

It was a nice Spring night. I cuddled up in my bed with Napoleon 🐶, got me a glass of crisp cranberry juice & turned my TV to TBN. I prayed to the Lord, worshipped, and I felt so good! 😊

Around 3 a.m. The Holy Spirit shook me awoke. He told me to turn my tv up, so I did.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear.

Right when I turned my TV up this preacher who was preaching, paused from His Message, and began to prophesy,

He said,

I don’t know who you are, but you’re a young lady, you’re in a relationship with a boy, that’s right! He’s not even a man! He was sent by Satan to destroy you, destroy your ministry, and destroy your destiny! The Lord said, if you continue to get married to this man and stay in that mess, in 6 months, you will not even recognize yourself.” “And not only will you not be able to recognize yourself, but in a years timing you will get a divorce.” He continued, “As a matter of fact, you’re watching me on TV right now. I know I don’t know you, but the Lord said, Obey Him and watch what He’ll do in your life.”

After he was done with that brief word, he went back to preaching his message as if what he’d said WAS NO BIG DEAL, meanwhile I’m in shock with my mouth glued to my chest.

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That, Ladies and gentleman, was the last nail in the coffin..

Ever since I was a child, I told myself, I am only getting married once. So, it had to be to the right person! I made up my mind that when I got married, I would not get a divorce! The Lord knew I hated divorce, and for a man I don’t even know to prophesy that to me personally through the TV,

Y’all, I was messed up.😳

When I gathered myself, I said, “Okay Lord, I’ll obey.”

One Of The Hardest Days of My Life

The next evening I drove to my fiance’s house, I cooked dinner for him as I had done many times before and once both of us were done eating, his parents came and joined us.

After we finished eating, I opened my mouth & it just came out,

I cannot marry your son.”

His father’s face went sour, and his mother looked confused. When they questioned “Why?” I told them, “The Lord said If I marry him I will be out of His Will.” His mother jumped up from the table and shook her head, “You can marry whoever you want, God gives us free will!”

I told her, “Although, that may be true for some people, I don’t think The Lord has given me that option.” His Father butted in with his own comments, even mumbling under his breath that I was crazy.

After everyone calmed down a bit, they said,

Well, we cannot stop you.”

“Do what you think is best.”

I began to cry and so did my fiance. I went into my purse, pulled out my engagement ring and placed it in my fiance’s hand.

I apologized to them all, and I left…

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When I tell y’all that was the hardest thing ever!!!

I was soo scared, I wondered, What are they going to think of me? What will his family & friends say about me? Here we are about to get married, and a month before our WeddingI am leaving the relationship completely.

This is Crazy…

However, once the Lord gave me the strength I needed to finally leave that toxic relationship, I haven’t looked back since.

 And the peace that followed obeying God??

Oh my gosh!!!

It was incomparable to anything I’d ever felt before!

I could feel the presence of The Lord stronger than ever and His JOY overtook me. I was happy, smiling again, glowing & felt as if a weight had literally been taken off my shoulders.

My relationship with The Lord was crazy dope! After I got rid of the relationship that was draining me, I began experiencing The Lord’s glory like never before.

Me and “Jesus Chroist!!” literally became two peas in a pod.

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Although, I know this blog is kind of long, I must give you one more point…

Then I’ll be done…

4. KNOWING 😔

The thing about dating someone outside of God’s will is this:

You Already Know It..

You know because you have no peace, you know because you’re confused, you know because you feel uneasy when you get around them,

It’s just a knowing in your spirit.

Yet, because of fear you stay with this person anyway…

Whether your fear is stemmed from:

  • hating change (so you stay)
  • being scared of the outcome if you leave
  • hating to start over (because you’ve invested so much into this)
  • wondering what people would say if you left
  • or something else (bleh, blah. (etc.)

Whatever it is, it’s still FEAR.

I am here to tell you that neither of those fears are bigger than The LORD…

Y’all, I can go on and on with this, but I am done..

I believe I have said everything The Lord wants me to say.

Just know sis/bro that whatever you have to give up for the Lord’s will to be done,

Will be multiplied and given back to you a 100x better than what you gave up.

The months, years, or even decades you have wasted on the wrong person will be restored.

I promise you.

God is not a man that he must lie.

And one more thing

I promise this is the last thing y’all! 😂

If God gives you someone that is beautiful on the inside as well as the out, someone who prays for you, loves you unconditionally, serves you, caters to you, cherishes you, and cares for you, even when you’re at your worst.

Don’t be stupid.

If you have God’s stamp of approval, His peace, your relationship is blooming, the both of you are growing, and you’re stronger together than you ever were being by yourself.

Don’t mess it up…

*God ordained covenants* are so rare these days, because many people settle in the wilderness before they make it to the promised land..

With that being said,

If you’ve made it to the promised land and you’re with the one who makes your soul jump

and The Lord is in it👀 …

Stay right There sis/bro…

Stay right there…

Love,

Takyah Love

3 Turn Offs For A Strong Woman!

There is nothing like finding a strong woman.

She’s reliable.

She’s smart.

She’s beautiful.

She’s honest.

And most of all she’s strong.

That’s why you want to keep her right?

Right.

Well fellas, today’s blog, “3 Ways To Turn Off A Strong Woman” is ALL ABOUT YOU. I want you to make the right decisions when dating this kind of woman so that when you get her, you wont lose her. One thing about it, strong women are worth the effort and work, but we can be pretty hard to get.

Lets dive right in guys! 

1. Being Too Sensitive

Women love a guy who’s in touch with his sensitive side.

But…

Not too much in touch..

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Then we’ll start to wonder.

If a woman has to constantly baby you all the time, she will cringe in her stomach. There is nothing more beautiful to a woman than seeing her man be all big and strong and confident! However, if that confidence breaks in a second due to someone cracking a joke or hurting her mans feelings. She will be a tad bit disturbed inside.

How do I know?

Because I once dated a guy like this and lets just say I quickly cut him off. He was always whining about this and that and crying over such small matters. One day when I was listening to him whine, I literally stopped what I was doing to sit back & listen to him. In my head I was thinking💭 “Oh, my gosh dude, your like 6 feet tall and 230 pounds and you’re whining everyday like this?”

So Annoying.

Fellas,  if you want to keep her around, don’t be too sensitive. Seeing a big, strong, handsome man cry at the drop of a hat and get offended every day is just not cute. That’s a chore I will leave another woman to do. I will not be babying 🍼 a grown man every day.

Catering, serving and spoiling him??

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Yes! 

Babying, apologizing every 5 seconds and walking on eggshells for him??

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Uhm…No!

Before I get to the next point I want to leave you a little checklist. So you can kind of know when it’s okay to cry and when it’s not.

Reasons to Cry

  • Worshiping God or In The Presence of God. (Yes baby, Cry away! That is beautiful!)
  • Wedding Day!
  • You and your wife’s first baby (over filled with joy)
  • Loss of a loved one. (Of course. Cry for weeks, months, take all the time you need dear!)
  • Other happy events like graduation, engagement, kids first day at school, accomplishing a big task or a dream coming true. (etc.) (Yes all those are cute).

Reasons NOT to cry

  • Someone checked you. (Simply check back and laugh about it).
  • Your girl tells you, maybe you should wear something else. (Just change the clothes, don’t take it to heart. Men help us get ready all the time! We’ll say “Honey is this cute?” and if he says “No.” Guess what? We put on something else! It’s not that big of a deal).
  • You lost while playing a video game. (seriously guys?)
  • Your girl doesn’t like the gift you bought her. (Next time take her shopping and let her pick out what she wants. You may not be a good gift giver and that’s okay! usually men aren’t.)

But pleasssseee don’t cry about it! 😓 geeshhh…

Moving On!

2. Playing Games

Oh my goodness, I cannot stress this enough. Men are game players by nature. They have been playing them since the beginning of time. Little boys start out playing with action figures, toy cars, Mario kart, (etc.) and as they get older, it turns into basketball, football, playing pool, madden.

Women however played with baby dolls, (preparing us for children), doll houses (preparing us for a family and a home), and we played with cooking stoves and easy bake ovens (preparing us to cook). So we are a little more serious about relationships naturally than men are.

And that’s okay. 

We’re supposed to balance each other out.

However, playing games on a woman, (especially a strong woman) is not good…

Not good at all…

Saying you’ll call her back later, only not to call her because you want to act tough and regain some stupid power back that you feel you’ve lost is stupid. So is, playing some egotistical logic on her, that you and your clueless buddies came up with.

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Fellas, those things will not show her anything.

But she, however, will show you the BLOCK zone.

Few Other Games Not to Play

  • The Not Keeping Your Word Game, Telling her you’ll do things and then don’t, is a quick way to get dismissed as well.
  • The Fall Back Game, mature women will not try to guess why you all of sudden fell back, if you repeatedly do this after she’s spoken to you about her feelings, she will start to ignore you and all your past efforts would have been wasted.
  • The Reverse Psychology and trying to make a woman figure you out Game, look guys, dating is already strenuous as it is, and women don’t need all that extra drama that unstable men sometimes bring to the table, being wishy washy is a game strong women will not play.

You will be playing all those games by yourself.

So, fellas don’t play games with a strong woman, simply be yourself and let the relationship flow.

NOTE: Don’t get advice from men who don’t have a clue about dating women. If you need advice, get it from a man who’s wise and has experience dating strong classy women, or, better yet get advice from an older wise woman.

3. Clingy Spirit

Affectionate: readily feeling or showing fondness or tenderness. devoted; caring.

Clingy: someone who likes you who becomes obsessed. 

The reason I gave you both definitions is because I wanted you to know that there is a difference! A man’s affection is beautiful!!!!!!! (yes I had to put all those exclamation marks so you can know how important your affection is to us).

Your kind heart and affection towards us gives us the same feeling you get when we praise you for doing something, or when we respect you/submit to you. Let me give you an example.

Example

Woman: “Baby can you fix this shelf for me, it keeps falling?”

Man: “Yeah, I think so. Let me try.”

Man: (Gets nails & hammer, and succeeds).

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Woman: (Jumps all over him) “Oh my goodness baby you’re so strong and smart!! Ugh, I just love having you around! You help me out so much! Thank you Baby!!!” (Kisses him)

Men we all know, that you will be smiling from ear to ear. You’ll be thinking (man that was so small and she did all that just cause I helped her fix a shelf?) But guess what? You would be more attracted to her than you would if you were to perform that same task for another woman who simply said. “Thanks.”

That’s because the first lady made you feel some kind of value from you simply being there and helping her out. And just like you would get happy from the above scenario. (Because you felt appreciated.) Us women feel the same way when men are tender and affectionate toward us.

Men look at (respect+praise=love) and women look at (time+affection=love).

That’s why when men do small things for us. We’ll go and tell the whole world!

Girl let me tell you about my man honey…”

We’ll call up every girl we know and brag on what you just did and how you did it, because we like bragging on our mans love toward us. That’s us telling all our girls, “Yeah your man is good, but mines is the best!”

NOTE: Affection is a woman’s measuring stick to love.

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I don’t really know why were like that…lol but we are. So, if you really like this woman and you’ve been dating her for some time now, get with the program brother!

Start being affectionate.

If you’re not affectionate we take it as “He doesn’t like me.” A man being cold and distant is not readable. Meaning, we can’t figure out if you’re interested or not. The bad thing is, some of you men may actually like this woman but you’re talking yourself out of doing nice things for her because you don’t want to come off as “Sprung.” or like “You’re doing too much too soon.” “I don’t want her to think I’m blah..blah..blah..” 🙄

Let me just tell you fellas, whatever the reason is for you not being affectionate towards her, I should tell you, (affection and being kind) melts any strong woman’s heart. No matter how strong she may be.

Examples of Affection:

  • Taking her out to a place she’s been wanting to go to, & giving her some cheesy cute necklace. (And yes we actually fall for that stuff…it’s terrible how easy we are sometimes…🙄)
  • If she changed something about herself, like her hair, hair color, or loss weight (etc.) or she simply looks good to you, tell her! When you pass by her just say, “I like the new hair color it really looks nice on you.” (trust she will be saying to herself all day “Omg! I cant believe he noticed my hair?”)
  • Tell her how much she means to you, and kiss her on the hand or the forehead afterwards. (Once again, cheesy. But we’re total suckers🍭.)
  • Thought I was going to give you another point huh? The devil is a lie, I’m not finna give you all this good information to use on my ladies like that! 😂

Now, moving on!

On the flip side….

I must also let you know,

NOTE: Affection is Not Obsession!

And there is not a thin line between the two!

They are two T-O-T-A-L-L-Y different things!

Stalking a woman, calling her all day everyday, blowing up her inbox with,

  • Hi, 👋🏼 my love.
  • Who you with?
  • I miss you.
  • What you doing now?
  • Dang, so you just gonna ignore me like that?
  • Aight, cool.
  • (Text back 10 minutes later) “Okay, I’m not mad no more, I want to see you.”
  • You want to hang tomorrow then?

Oh my goodness that is disgustinggg…

How do I know fellas?

Once again, I have dated this kind of man. Not to mention that I still get daily crazy messages from men all over the world. A few years back, I started talking to this guy for two days. We messaged each other for about a week before I finally gave him my number. Immediately, I regretted my decision. After our second phone conversation this man took a few moments to pause and tell me how much he loved me. How he’d never felt this way before. And not only did he love me, but he wanted me to meet his parents the following weekend. He had a farm and wanted to take me horse back riding (he was rich) and it totally bummed 🙁 because….

I’ve always wanted to ride a horse, butttt if I had to deal with a crazy person to do it…

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Ehhh…. I’ll pass. lol. Some women may deal with a clingy man, to use him or get money from him but not this girl. Rich or not if you’re clingy and crazy, I’m cutting you off, point blank.

Seriously fellas, nothing says desperate like a man who’s constantly calling a woman, constantly on her tail, constantly stalking her, telling her all these sweet things and she has yet to reciprocate that love back to him. Now I’m not talking about men who are pursuing a woman and trying to find out about her. No. Once again don’t mis- understand me. I am speaking about the psycho’s who constantly text, call, and leave messages with no remorse and no conscience. A man behaving in such a manner is NOT AT ALL ATTRACTIVE!!!

A strong woman will run the opposite way.

Okay guys, I hoped you all enjoyed the blog!

Once again, its been fun hanging with yall!

Until next time!

💋TakyahLove 💋

Lord please…Can I have Him?

At the age of 20, almost 4 years ago, I promised the Lord I would save my emotions, my body, my heart, my romantic ideas and everything else for my future husband and I meant that. However, I did not know I would have to pass up sooo many good men in the process.

Even the toughest of us single women have at least once in our “singleness” gotten to a point where we just wanted out! Out of God’s will and out of God’s plan! And it seems like right at that very moment, (the moment we decide we want out) that we’re presented with a man who looks like “an answer to prayer.

However, after asking the Lord about this beautiful man, He responds with the same answer He’s always given… “No.” After hearing his answer, we fuss, we fight, we wonder does God even know what He’s doing? 

Sis… if you have been through anything like this, I know where you’re coming from. Sadly, this has been the story of my life the ENTIRE time I’ve been single. (4 years) So, if you’re going through this as well, I want to share with you in, “Lord please…Can I have him?” 3 reasons why you cannot have him, and also, why you should listen to God if he says no about a man that is pursuing you; no matter how delicious 🤤 or appetizing 😏 that man may look. (Sorry y’all this new diet I’m on has me a little hungry) lol.

Okay ladies!

Let’s talk!

1.🙏🏽He is not in God’s will for your life😭

The number one reason, you should listen to God if he says No about a man is because He is not in His will for your life. The Bible encourages us in Isaiah 55:8-9, The Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts.

  • “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Not only that, but Jesus himself lets us know that we do not have a will. The only will we have is the will of God. You can try to fight God’s will (JONAH) all you want to, but if it’s for you, there is nothing you can do to stop it, and if it’s not for you, there is nothing you can do to make it be for you. Jesus said, I come to do what’s written about me in the books to do, prior to me coming here.

Meaning, he didn’t come down here to kick back, chillax with Peter and the fellas, and use his anointing to attract women by the dozens. No. The Lord did not come to fulfill flesh, he came to fulfill the will of God and be the Saviour for all mankind. Think about it…If Jesus himself had to submit to the will of God in the garden of Gethsemane, how much more do we?

  • John 6:38– For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. (NIV)
  • Hebrews 10:7– Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. (KJV)
  • Matthew 26:39– Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?” (MSG)

And he was not the only one who had figured this out, David and Solomon said the exact same thing.

  • Psalm 139:16You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
  • Proverbs 19:21– You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

Realizing that God already had a purpose and plan for your life, wayyyy before you could even think about purpose, (Jeremiah 1:5) is the best way to understand what He’s doing in your life. Along this road, you will meet some amazing men, some of which the Lord has orchestrated to pour into you or simply to be a F-R-I-E-N-D. If God says “no” about taking things to the next level with them, you cannot have them! If a man is not in God’s will for your life, in the end it will not work out like you want it to.

The two of you could be going two different places. His life might interfere with what God has planned for you and vice versa. Whatever it is, trust that God knows what He’s doing in your life! There’s no safer place to be than the will of God. It has less confusion, less worry, less stress, less pain and less heartache than you trying to make something happen for yourself.

NOTE: If you get out of the will of God for something, you’ll have to stay out of his will to keep it.

God knows the husband, the business, the partnerships, the friends and everything else he wants to add to your life, He doesn’t need you to try to make something happen, he’s already made it happen. The Lord knows your ending from your beginning, so chill sis! P.S. (Don’t provoke God’s wrath with your disobedience and doubt, you’ll only prolong your blessings that way.)

2.🙏🏽God knows His heart😭

Sis, God knows things about people we do not know. And we have to trust his judgment. We see the smile, the shirt and tie, and how sweet a man can be. Yet, God goes underneath those garments and strips the person for what they really are.

  • 1 Samuel 16:7– But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.” 

When I think about the man I was engaged to many years ago, at the age of 19. I was so lost and confused. Without bashing this man’s character (because my “being naive”) played a BIG part in how I allowed him to treat me.

I must be honest…

This man started out clean cut, he had a fun personality and was extremely funny! (Which is always a plus with me) but as time went on, this man turned into the complete opposite, he didn’t dress like he did when I first met him, he dropped out of school, he stopped pursuing everything and just became stagnant in life.

One day while I was cooking he even told me that he was waiting on me to get signed so he could meet certain “celebrities” and basically live it up off of my goals. He was very controlling and from his mood swings I could tell he was about to take things up a notch. Not to mention the company he kept “planted bad seeds” as they thought it was “okay” to hit women…

But guess what Sis??

God gave me MANY dreams about this man while we were still friends!

I wouldn’t have had to go through ANY of those things had I listened! (One dream was so scary that I didn’t even talk to him for a whole 2 weeks afterward, because I was that afraid.)

black-woman-with-migraine

However, because I didn’t understand the will of God. I kept being disobedient. Months before he asked me to be his “leading lady” (because I was not the only one) The Lord had already showed me in a dream who he really was. But guess what? I shook it off like “no big deal” and God’s just trying to scare me… and no, he wasn’t! He was trying to warn me! He was letting me know that He knew the heart of the man, He knew how things would go, how they would would turn out, and everything else that was about to happen. And honestly, when I look back and see that this man is still in the same spot as before, (4 years later) I think…Oh my goodness, my life would’ve been Terrible! I’m so happy that God Loved me enough to pull me out of a situation I wasn’t smart enough to leave on my own.

NOTE: God will wreck your plans before they wreck you.

That’s why now I am “extremely careful” about men and dating, so many people wear facades in the beginning of relationships that it’s hard to tell if a person is really legit or not. That’s why ladies we have to put our hope and trust in The Lord Jesus! And allow him to direct us to the person he wants us to be with! And if He says “No.” Or “Not yet.” We have to learn to be okay with it.

3.🙏🏽He won’t lead you to Christ😭

The whole purpose of any man+woman relationship is to end up like Christ. Many relationships are not Jesus centered and because of that they quickly go into lust, anxiety, “playing tit for tat” games and being confused.

And because God knows this “new fine man” won’t lead you closer to Him. He says “No.” Now, I am not knocking good men who make “mistakes” because I believe in the grace of Jesus, however, like I said in my book, “Purity over PASSION.

Even a good man can sometimes slip up, and make a mistake. Yet, that doesn’t mean ‘that mistake’ has to be with you.

But, right now I am talking about the “other man”, you know the ones who are their just to hurt you, play games, get you distracted and lead you further away from Christ. God is not interested in someone who’s going to do that to you. He’s interested in someone who’s going to build you up, love you like He loves his Church, and wash you and present you back to Him and say “Here she is Lord, look at the woman she has become, look at what I did with the gift you gave me.” Not, “Oh my bad, I didn’t mean to make her cry, I didn’t mean to hurt her, I’m sorry God I didn’t mean to cheat but that other shawty was fineee!!

shutterstock_149077067

Ladies, God is a purpose God. He is not going to give you a man who will lead you away from him. He wants the two of you to pursue him together. He doesn’t want your heart all broken, you stressing up late at night, and wondering about some man who’s playing games.

Any man like that is not leading you to Christ, he’s giving you a headache and wasting time. With the man God has for you, the two of you should be evolving for the better! Not acting crazy, cheating on each other and being in the flesh all the time. If you are in a relationship and you’re behaving like that, I guarantee you, that is not who God has for you. What God has for you will be peaceful and will undoubtedly bring out the best in the both of you, not the worst.

Don’t you want that?

Doesn’t that sound like a relationship worth waiting for?

Sis, if you want a relationship that’s peaceful and God-approved. You’re going to have to wait on “who God approves.”

Do not settle. 

As hard as it is, and as much as you want to get out of the will of God. Wait… Do not get weary in well doing. As much as it may hurt to see “other couples” kiss and hold hands, and every one else get married or engaged on your timeline… wait..

I once heard a story and I’ll leave you with this…

There was a party of 8 all sitting around at a table in this fancy restaurant about to eat dinner. They’d all placed their orders and within a few minutes the food began to come out. One man had a salad, another some chips and salsa, the third man had a grilled cheese sandwich, the fourth a hotdog, the fifth a turkey sandwich, the sixth a smoothie, and the seventh an egg and cheese sandwich. As the 8th man sat there angry (because everyone else had their food before him) He pounded his fists on the table and demanded to speak to the manager! Right when he was upset and thought about going across the street to go get something “quick to eat” the waitress yelled and said “Sir, your dinner has arrived.” When she sat the plate in front of him all the other guest marveled at his dinner. On his plate was a big juicy steak, a sweet potato and some delicious grilled vegetables. After tasting and seeing how beautiful and delicious the food was, he was happy he waited. Everyone else, after seeing the man’s plate said “Waitress, give me what he’s having!”

steak

That’s what God is doing for you sis! He’s cooking up something big and magnificent for you! The reason why yours is taking so long is because you don’t have an average blessing. What God has planned for you is going to be so big, so grand, so immeasurable that many women are going to say “Wow, God does that? I want God to do the same thing for me!”

Not only that, but because you allowed God to prepare you and you didn’t vacate the “process.” you will be ready for all those BIG Blessings He’s about to bestow on your life!

And when you go out on your first date…and God says, “Yes, daughter..He’s the one.”

You’ll be happy you waited…

fast-date

Your relationship is going to flow so much, that it’s like the two of you will be synchronized together. And guess what sis? God is going to back you up and protect what the two of you have because you listened and waited for the best He could give you…

 

As always,

Jesus loves you and so do I!

signing off!

Takyah Love

3 Reasons You Want Him To Find You! 

Hey ladies!

Guess what I’m doing??!? (High pitched girly voice)

The final edits for my book!!

Ahhhhh!! So excited!!! 🙆🏽💃🏽📚

Since I have to finish editing. This will be a quick blog! I stepped away for a break & yet, (I’m still writing) 🙃 so typical of me! #AlwaysWorking

Let’s dive right in shall we?? Here’s “3 Reasons You want Him To Find You!” and not the other way around


⭐️Proverbs 18:22-The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.

The number one reason you want a man to find you is because, 

                1.  You Are The Treasure!

  • Treasure: any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized: to regard or treat as precious; cherish.

Treasure is rare! Treasure is beautiful! Treasure can also add value to the man that finds it!

Sis, what pirate movie have you seen where treasure just pops out to the pirate and says, “Here I am! Come and get me!” 

Ummm.. none I’m sure! 

I’ve seen pirate movies where men & their families have searched decades!! Even centuries! Just to find the hidden treasure. 

The more time you spend chasing after him, the more you show him, how “little” you think you’re worth! Not to mention it looks kind of…dare I say it??

d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e…😬

Sorry, I didn’t wanna’ say it!

Moreover, it’s necessary! When you act as if a man is the treasure and you’re not, men will know!
They quickly notice the difference between a woman who has confidence & a woman who has low-self esteem. 

⭐️NOTE: There is nothing attractive about a woman, who acts as if “no man” wants her!

Instead of chasing him,  popping out every 5 minutes, and doing things like (stalking his social media, befriending him on every social media site, DM him saying how cute he is, etc.)

Walk in confidence sis! Ask God to help you if you battle with low self esteem! Allow God the time he needs to work on you but do not chase a man! The last thing you want is for him to validate your worth!

What if he’s says, “She’s worth a Motel, a McDonald’s fry and a Big Mac!” Would you allow him to present that to you? Accepting that as a date night?

I sure hope not! 

The same goes with letting a man find you! If you let him find you, he’ll deem your worth wayyy more than an insecure woman who gets in his face all the time and sends piles of text messages all day

⭐️NOTE: You train men how to treat you, by the way you treat yourself! If you think and act like a pebble, they will treat you like a pebble. If you act like a diamond, they will value you & treat you with care! 

The second reason you want a man to find you is because, 

                   2. You Can’t Do His Job!

Trying to get a man to pursue you is a job within itself! It’s too much work

  • First you have to stalk him,
  • Find out what he likes,
  • what he doesn’t like,
  • His preference,
  • His favorite hairstyle on a woman,
  • Try to change yourself to look like that woman,
  • Find out his favorite color,
  • Buy an outfit in that color!
  • Go to the place he’ll be at!
  • Be in place to smile when he walks by!
  • Pray to God that he saw you!

😓 Oy Vey!

Just thinking about all that gives me a headache! 

Sis! Pleaseeeeee!!! If that is your plan….

Put a halt ✋🏽 to that Plan of action! You’re going to run yourself ragged trying to get a man to like you, who’s not interested. You can’t force a man to pursue you! Anymore than you can force a dog to be a cat!


If a man is interested, he’ll let you know. No man wants someone who’s forcing them to be in a relationship! Forcing them to pay attention! Forcing them to listen! Forcing them to call or text! Forcing them to marry them!

If you have to do all that forcing and you’re still in the courting stage, (the time when men pursue the most) Can you imagine?? How life will be, if you actually get this man?!

I can tell you now, it won’t be good! You will not get the love God has for you if you keep settling for men who could care less if you’re there or not!

You want a man who wants you! Not someone you have to force to see your worth! If he doesn’t see it! Wave bye 👋🏽 and keep it moving!
TrustGod will send you a good man that will pursue you! Someone who will see every bit of your worth & treat you how a King is supposed to treat a Queen. You won’t have to chase him down and manipulate him to do it either!

He’ll do it naturally!

If you haven’t read the blog: “Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” Click on the title! It’ll take you straight to it! It’s so helpful seeing the characteristics of a King, so you won’t be fooled by a sweet talking prince! 


Lastly, the main reason you want a man to find you is because, 

     3. You Can’t Change “His” Timing 

⭐️NOTE: No matter how “good” of a woman you are, you’ll never be good enough for a man who’s not ready. 

Sis, you can’t make a man be ready to commit to you! I believe, timing plays a big part in many successful relationships!

  • Now, I’m not talking about foolishness, such as: a man giving you lame excuses as to why he doesn’t want to be with you (yet he still wants to get husband benefits & soak up all your time) 

uhm no ma’am! 

I’m talking about men who are good men & want something more, but right now, it’s just not a good time, maybe because of their “careers aren’t established” or they’ve “just recently gotten out of a bad relationship.”

Let’s deal with the latter. 

If a man just got out of a bad relationship and you just so happen to slide in his DM’s, The timing will be incredibly terrible!

Although, men and women are quite different in many areas! One thing we’re the same in, is needing time to recoop from a bad relationship.

  • Recuperateto regain or recover. to get back an equivalent, as of something lost.

This man just lost some of his time, money, his heart & maybe he feels as if his efforts went unnoticed! One thing I can say about men, is that when they truly love a woman, they go all out! It may take some time for him to let down his guard but once he does, the world is yours. (Meaning, he’s going to make sure you’re happy)

Think about it sis! If this man just went through trying to give his ex the world 🌎 and it didn’t work out?

He’s going to need time!!! 

Time to recoop! Time to figure out “Why in the crap did this not work out?” “What did I do wrong?” He needs to figure out what’s the next step in his life! I’m sure getting into a new relationship is nowhere near his mind

You don’t want to come in right after a bad breakup! What if he’s not over her? What if he still wants to work things out with her? If you’re thrown into the middle of that horrible love triangle you can get hurt!

The concept of being a superhero for a broken hearted man, has left many women themselves, heart broken in the process! The only superheroes is Jesus & Time. 

I know what you’re thinking sis! 

You’re thinking💭,

  • If I could just show him how much better I am for him than her!”
  • “He’ll see my efforts and know I’m the one he needs to be with!”

Not meaning to burst your bubble, but he will not see anything! Getting the attention of a man who still has feelings for his ex is impossible. Yes! He may go out with you but he’ll still be thinking about her.
That is the last thing you want sis! You want to have a mans full attention! You want him to be focused on getting to know you. You want him to be focused on what the two of you can build together! Not what he could’ve had with ole’ girl back there! 

Undoubtedly, if he still has feelings for his ex; you could become a rebound! A girl he has fun with, sleeps with (if you let him) and a girl he quickly forgets.

Now I don’t know about you…

But “I ain’t goin! (southern accent) I got too much to offer to be someone’s rebound! Chile’ please!”

That sis! Is the main reason you want a man to find you! In his pursuit, you’ll know he’s ready! You’ll know it’s good timing & you’ll know he feels that now is a great time to take on a new relationship!

Ladies, because dating season aka: (cuffing season) is coming up! I want you to be careful! Don’t let all your hard work and patience be thrown away simply because you don’t want to be alone this holiday season!

Settling to fit the “relationship quo” for the Holidays is never worth it! Being impatient and pursuing men is not God’s plan for your life

Leave the match-making to God. Don’t let the “sighs” people make when you walk into the Holiday party 🎉 alone, get you down!

                     Wait on The Lord! 

Don’t get ahead of his timing! Be patient and know that good things come to those who wait!

Alright! I am out of here
Xoxo😘

Love your sis, 

🌸Takyah Love🌸


Discerning Between A Friend & A Foe. 

Finding friends in today’s society can seem very hard. Trust me! I’ve been praying to God for almost 4 years now to send me a best friend!

I imagine this friend to be a woman I could talk to about anything, pray with, fast with, go shopping with, tell my deepest thoughts to & someone I could trust. 

The only problem is, when you’ve been alone for so long. (like I have) It can become difficult to discern who’s legit and who’s not.

In today’s blog, “Discerning Between a Friend and a Foe.” I want to help you discern between a true friend & a person who’s simply posing as one.

Let’s jump right into it!

Characteristics of a FOE: 

Foe: a person who feels enmity, hatred, or malice toward another; enemy: a thing that is harmful to or destructive of something.

A while ago there was this lady who told me she was “sent” to be my friend; because I was going through such a vulnerable time, I allowed this person to come into my life, without running it by God. *big mistake*

⭐️NOTE: watch people closely who say “they’re sent to be in your life” its true that people are sent; but WHO sent them is the real question.

Before I knew it, her problems became my problems. I was helping her out, doing what I could to make sure she was okay. Basically, I’d become her “go to girl! Which was fine! That’s what friends are for! Right? 

However, when she no longer needed me, she threw me to the curb, stopped calling me, stopped hanging out with me and to top it off, disclosed everything we’d talked about in secret to other people. I was hurt greatly but I definitely learned my lesson!

Here’s what I learned:

  • A Foe will always come into your life and bring drama with them. (If someone comes into your life & it seems all Hell is coming with them, ask God if you should get involved. If he doesn’t respond, pray for them & send them on their merry way! Do not mistake God’s silence as his way of saying “yes” to helping them. You cannot help everybody sis!) 
  • A Foe will use you & throw you away like a used napkin. (Ask yourself, am I always helping them? Am I always giving out to them? If so, try saying “NO.” a few times & see if they’ll stick around. If not, *pat yourself on the back 👏🏽, you just exposed them for who they really are.) 
  • Do they talk about everyone else in their life, and then go play victim? (If they can’t keep their mouths off of the very people they claim they love, then what do you think they’re going to say about you once their done using you? Remember sis, God doesn’t deal in gossip or mess. Be very careful of someone who keeps their mouths on others.)


  • A Foe will not support you. (Watch their faces when you speak about your dreams or accomplishments. Do they smile & support you? Or do they get really quiet and never respond. Watch that sis! One thing I’ve learned, is that jealousy is hard to hide.)
  • A Foe is on a mission to distract & destroy. (What is the purpose of this new friendship? Are they helping you become a better you? Are they pushing you closer to your destiny? Or are they being used as a distraction by the enemy, to get you off course? Find out what they’re here for! And find out quick! If they’re not helping you, chances are they’re hurting you.)

⭐️NOTE: Do not allow people to just waltz into your life without any explanation of why they’re there.

  • A Foe will compete with you. (Instead of being happy for you they will compete with everything you do.) 

Let me give you an example: 

Tina: Hey, Clarice! I have to speak somewhere and I really want you to be there! You think you can come?

Clarice: Yes girl! I’ll be there! (But instead of them showing up, they make up an excuse) 

Scenario #2

Tina: Girl you see this new phone I got! Isn’t it cute?

Clarice: Doesn’t say anything. She simply goes out the next day & buys the same phone. Then shows it to Tina.

Scenario #3

Tina: I think God wants me to write a book!

Clarice: Yeah, he told me the same thing! I’m about to write one too!

Ladies, You get the picture! Foe’s constantly compete with you! They don’t know how to be happy for you because they’re not happy with themselves or their own lives!

Real friends do not compete, they complete each other! We all have different purposes & different destinies. As a friend, It is my job to encourage and help my friends reach their destination! There is no competition in the kingdom of God or a God-ordained relationship.

Characteristics of a FRIEND:

Friend: a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard: a person who is not hostile.

  • Friends pour into each other selflessly. (They do it without wanting something in return.)
  • Friends tell the truth. (They would never lie on you or lie to you.) 
  • Friends are there when you’re up and when you’re down. When people praise you & when they curse you. (If they’re happy when you have a downfall. Or if they can never celebrate with your accomplishments, check them. Real friends don’t do that.)

⭐️Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

  •  Friends support you. (Not just in word but in deed. If you have endeavors and this person who claims to be your friend never shows up to support you. Something is wrong.) 
  • Friends are honest. (There is a difference between honesty & being rude. If they always have negative things to say. Pay attention. Are they really being honest? Or are they spewing out hate in subtle ways.) 
  • Friends will never sabotage your life. (If something good comes are they always speaking against it? You’ve recently met this great man and your friend is constantly speaking against him, because there’s no one in her life. Or maybe, you just started a new project and your friend is telling you to do something else because to her “that’s not for you.”) 

⭐️ NOTE: Foe’s love to sabotage your life and dress it up like “they’re concerned.” Be watchful of that spirit sis! 

It’s one thing, for a friend to give you honest counsel and tell you maybe it’s not the right time for that or to wait on God.
However, if they’re constantly downplaying everything you set your mind to do! Chances are, they’re not a friend!

If God tells you to do something, do it sis! Real friends understand the call that God placed on your life.

They will never dishonor you or try to control who God created you to be!

Okay, that’s all for today ladies! 

Comment if you could relate to this blog or if it helped you out

Until next time my loves! 😘

I pray you all have a wonderful September🍂

Also, if you haven’t seen my new video on YouTube! Here’s the link:

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 

Hey ladies!

I know I haven’t written to you girls in a while! I’ve been finishing this newbook that is going to change your life! Ahhh!!! I’m so excited to spill the details!

However…since the bible says, be hasty for nothing! I won’t say a word! No matter how much I want to!! Simply know, it’s going to be the bomb💥!! As it get’s closer to the release date, I’ll discuss more of the details then!

Okay, let’s get to it!

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 

1. LIP SERVICE 🗣

⭐️NOTE: A Prince talks more than he moves and speaks more than he listens.  A prince is always telling you what you want to hear, instead of telling you what you need to hear!

And what you need to hear is, THE TRUTH!

Rarely, will he tell you the truth about him, his finances, his life or anything!

Matter of fact, you might’ve been dating this man for over 6 months now and you’re still unsure of EXACTLY WHO HE IS!?! Why??? Because he lies so much, that it’s hard to decipher between when he’s lying and when he’s actually telling the truth! At this point, you don’t know WHAT TO BELIEVE!? The first day you met him, was a Cop & now…. He’s a Power Ranger?

While on the flip side!..

⭐️NOTE: A King 👑 not only tells you the truth. But he doesn’t even speak, until he’s sure he can fulfill whatever promise he’s about to make to you. 

A King may not have all those “fancy” words and romantic gestures that a “prince charming” has. But when he grabs you by the hand, looks you in your eye and tells you, “Baby, I got you, I’m going to do it.” You can bet Alllll your money on it

Why?

Because a King is a man of order & priority.
He knows how it feels to be let down. And if he cares for you, the very last thing he would ever want to do is tell you something and not come through for you!!

                2. HE’S SO ROMANTIC 💏

A prince never minds this! He thrives off of it!

                              Why??

Because his number one☝🏽goal is to get you in bed sweetie! He uses charm & his romantic routine to try to get you going!

I wish a brother would come with some “Candles lit, Rose pettles 🥀 all on the floor, Doves 🕊 flying out of the cage at Dinner. Whip cream, Strawberries and Cherries🍒?!?” (And we ain’t married)

MANNNN If You Don’t Get This Stuff Outta’ Here! I’MA CALL MY DADDY!! And you Bets’ believe (Memphis slang) He gone’ have them horses and chariots waiting for you outside Playa! (yeah don’t play with me) lol…

Ladies c’mon!!!

A prince‘s whole world is revolved around pleasing himself!! He’s not into you! How many “other” women do you think he’s done those very same things with before you??

Being romantic is not buying you a Matching “bra and panties set” from Victoria’s SecretHe’s actually demeaning you and saying to himself (or to his boys), “I ain’t got to do much for her, Ima take her to Waffle House, Taco Bell or some like that, buy her some cute panties, a cheap movie and I got her.

Sis…Do you really think so low of yourself?!?
You are special and should not be treated like a midnight rendezvou!! A King 👑 will not take “sex” and dress it up like its “romance.” He will buy you flowers, pay for your food, he won’t wait around until your clothes start to have holes in them (before he starts to buy you some new ones), & if you fall on hard times he will make sure that your lights are paid for and that your cell phone is kept on…..

uhm….hello? 

Anyone there?? 

See, Honey, I’m talking about a King

I’m talking about a man that will make you a (home-made card) from scratch. And even though it looks like a 5 year old made the card. 😂😉 When you open the card & burst into laughter. That’s what makes his day! (He just loves seeing you smile)

A King will take his hand, rub your hair to put your hair back in place. Simply because you had a few pieces sticking up.

A King is a man who will tell you, “Baby you got lettuce in your teeth.” Instead of letting you walk around all day looking like this. ⤵️

                     Ladies pay attention!!! 👀

A King will never pretend with you! If he likes you, he’ll let you know. If he doesn’t he won’t waste your time.

                             Why??

Because…..That’s Just Who He Is! 

He’s been real with you from the beginning!

He’s never fronted with you!

He doesn’t have to put up this fake facade like he’s this “suavebillionaire GQ Man, 
neither does he ma
feel like you should be lucky to be with him! No ma’am. Instead, a King will look at you and thank God for you because he knows that, just like a good man is hard to come by,

So is a Good Woman…..


Okay ladies! 

That is all for now!

I pray this all helped you!

If you want me to make a “Part 2” to this blog! Comment below and let me know!

Until next time!!!

Love you!!! 

🌸Takyah Love

Getting Back Into The Dating Game! (Part 2)

Hey Ladies and Gents! I hope you all enjoyed part one to “Getting Back Into The Dating Game!” Don’t forget to comment & share the blog with your friends! Let’s get started!                                   

                             👠Ladies👠                        

                       4. Cover it Up! 

There was this time in my life, when I used to let it all hang out! I’m sure you girls remember that horrible selfie I posted in “Beauty from Within…” a couple of months ago.  
Honay,… honayy! I knew I had a nice curvy body & I would go parading 🎊 those lil hips of mine all over the place!!!

(That was before I really knew Jesus) 

As I constantly kept showing off “what my mama gave me.” I noticed something. The clothes I thought, would finally get a man to love me, only got men to lust after me. I was using my body as bait, yet never catching any fish! 
Man after man! They all wanted to sleep with me! They would pretend to be my friend long enough for them to spring the sex question up and when I told them “I’m practicing abstinence.” They would laugh at me as if I was lying.

The problem was, I was a good girl, trying to use bad girl tips. Which kept producing: bad girl results! One Sunday afternoon, (after I’d start attending church) the First Lady pulled me aside & said this:

 ⭐️⭐️⭐️”Wear your clothes tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.“⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

What she was telling me was this; there is nothing wrong with cute shirts, jeans, dresses or heels! However, when you go out, make sure you dress to represent our daddy! (God). It’s still possible to dress fashionably, without looking like you don’t have class.  

For instance , all of these outfits are “No Go’s!” 

 Wearing outfits like this ⬆️ will not only misrepresent God; in addition they will also make you appear as if you’re a bedroom woman
I’ve heard many women complain about how all the good men look over them & how they only attract men who disrespect them.(that used to be my complaint as well)

But if we don’t respect ourselves, who will? 

Sis, you cannot demand from others what you don’t give to yourself! In fact I guarantee! If you start respecting yourself a little bit more & covering up all those goodies, men will have no problem respecting you for the princess you are
                             Remember! 
Men see who you are longgg before they hear who you are; so don’t let what they see, detour them away from the beautiful person you are on the inside.

 ⭐️Note: How you treat yourself is how you train others to treat you. 

 ⭐️Note: If you need a little help on what to wear for your next date. How’s about trying something like this? ⬇️ Cute! Yet, it shows you have respect for yourself! 😘                       

                     👠Ladies and GENTS👔                 

                  5. Please Include God!!!

 I know! I know guys! This should be number 1 on the dating tips!! However, I wasn’t writing the blog in chronological order, so cut me some slack!! Okay??

 *Back to the Blog!!*

 The number 1 reason in dating is to “INCLUDE GOD!”

                Why is this the most important? 

Well….I’ll tell you! Although there’s soo many reasons why you should include God when dating, for the sake of time I’ll just list two…

  1. God knows the heart of people.
  2. God sees the big picture.

As humans we sometimes overlook the people God wants to place in our life & think too highly of the people he’s trying to take out of our life…For instance, we’ll look at a persons outer appearance and think to ourselves: “Oh yeah, God this is the one!” 

Yet, when God tells us “No that’s not who I have for you.” We fuss! We fight! We even go against his will; arguing our case with “Limited vision.”As if we really know better than God! 

Meanwhile, God is looking at their heart and saying, “If you marry them, they’re going to hurt you, they’re going to belittle you, they’re going to make you depend on them, rather than me. He or she may be good looking but they’re not right for you! I don’t want you to marry them because instead of helping you walk into your purpose, they will doubt what I’ve placed in you! They won’t love you the way I want you to be loved. Trust me! I know whats best for you! You are mine! And I would rather not give you (what you think you want) & have you angry with me now; Than to give them to you and listen to you cry later.” 

I think it’s time for a good story…

 A little over 2 years ago, there was this man of God I was talking to. He was involved in ministry heavily. He was handsome and very funny! We talked several times on the phone & overall he seemed to be a really great guy! One day as our conversation ended,
The Holy Spirit said… “NO.”

Around that time, I was wondering should I start a relationship with him. So, I knew this was God giving me my answer. Although, I didn’t quite understand why God would say NO to him; (seeing how much he talked about God & preached him) still, trusting God, I let him go…

I never called him or answered any of his texts from that moment on. However, a couple of months later, I came to understand why. 
It was a “Summers Night“, and I’d just walked out of my prayer closet from spending time with The LORD! I was so filled up with joy to the point where, I wanted to do something nice for My Heavenly Father!  
As a result, I said to myself, I’m going to go to the store to make a nice Fathers Card for Jesus & I’ll show it to him in our next prayer time together! 

I get in the car and though it’s pretty late (some time after 12 midnight). I still felt the urge to go. So here I am, at the store, smiling as I check off my to do list; 

when all of a sudden I hear a familiar voice coming from the register beside me…

I turn my head to the left to see who it was and….

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

(Ya’ll know I had to get dramatic right there) 😂 

Any-way..

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

The man who “GOD said No to” and some woman dressed like a hooker in this same store with me, at almost 1 in the morning!
He looked at me with embarrassment. 
I didn’t say anything. (That would’ve been out of place) Besides, the look on his face said more than enough for the situation. I simply checked out, waved at him & kept going…🚶🏽‍♀️

Now, I have no clue as to why they were out so lateor for that matter why she was half naked! Matter of fact, that’s none of my business that’s God’s.

Nonetheless, I had to share that story with you to make this point…

Sometimes when God tells us “NO.” about someone; we feel like he’s trying to keep this “good” gift from us! But that’s simply not true! God’s no’s are for our protection! Remember Adam and Eve?!? In their situation, the enemy convinced “Eve”that God was withholding something good from her but he wasn’t! He was protecting her!

Guys, if God is telling you to let someone go; do it! Learn from my story above! Trust me! God knows what’s best for you! After all, he did make you! So, I’m pretty sure God knows what you want & don’t wantHe’s not going to make you marry someone who you’re not attracted to or someone you don’t like! He just wants to see if we trust him enough to let go of what we can see to obtain what we can’t see

⭐️Note for the GENTS: You cant get Esther until you let go of Vashti… 

⭐️Note for the Ladies: You can’t get Boaz until Mahlon dies… (figuratively speaking* let any relationship that God has not approved of die!) 


                   👠Ladies and GENTS👔

  6. Believe Their Actions, Not Their Words..

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
                                                         -Maya Angelou

The thing I never quite understood; is why people hang onto relationships that are clearly a waste of time. When my old friends would come to me for advice concerning their issues, I would give them the complete truth. Yet, even after all that “truth” they would still go back to that time wasting relationship & then keep calling me month after month with the same problem
Now I’m no relationship guru! But I do believe in “SIGNS” and “COMMON SENSE.
If someone is giving you the mouth, 🗣

  • You’re important to me.
  • I value you.
  • Nobody else makes me feel like you do. 
  • I want to be with you. 

Yet, their actions are completely different. 

                       ✂️CUT IT OFF✂️

Example: Tyler keeps telling Briana that he hates when she ignores him. Every time they get on the phone to talk, she talks to everyone around her, leaves him on hold (while she does a million other things) & after he’s waited on hold for her; she then hangs up & texts him,”Call Ya Later.” But her call back later usually means 2-3 days later… 

If Tyler was my friend?? Why would I advise him to hold onto that? If he’s communicated this problem to her more than a few times & yet she continues to do this..
She’s making things very clear to him! She is either; Atoo busy for a relationship or Bnot interested in having a relationship with him. 

⭐️Note: Never put more into a relationship than the other person is putting.

⭐️Note: “Unlimited chances” are for (married people) not for someone you just met two weeks ago. 

Another Example

This one is for my Ladies because I see so many women in this situation constantly!!

I know at times you think you can (work) your way into a mans heart by doing “good deeds” but you cant! 
All those texts, calls, checking up on him, cooking meals, washing clothes & trying to get him to see you, is pretty much for nothing. 
In reality this man is not even looking at you as a potential wife. He’s looking at you as a potential second mom…

Sweetheart, no matter how many “nice” things you do for a man; You cannot force your way into his life. If he’s not interested, he’s just not interested! You have to be okay with that! Everyone is not going to like you! And you’re not going to like everybody! 

So, stop overworking yourself to get into a position that doesn’t belong to youThe last thing you need, is a broken heart because you’ve put in years of work; trying to open the eyes of the wrong Adam

⭐️ Note: If someone is showing you they’re not into you. Believe what they’re showing you. Don’t take them ignoring you as some kind of cute “playing hard to get game.” (They actually may not like you.)

Well… there you have it Ladies and GENTS! 

Now…I know Part two to “Getting Back Into the Dating Game.” May not have been your favorite blog of mine, you probably even got cut a little bit…😬 lol…

However, I’ve got to tell y’all the truth! I’m not going to sugar coat these “bad courtships” & tell you, “just go with the flow!” Or “give it some more time.” (After many months have passed) Uhmm…No honey! I want what’s best for you! 

I am tired of men & women not getting the agape & mature love they deserve! I believe in love; & although I’ve never been in love, I think there’s someone out there for everyone! 

I have hopes of walking down the aisle one day  & marrying who God has for me.! You too should have those same hopes! Don’t give up! God already knows how your life is going to play out! 

All you have to do is stay in his will!

Once again, it has been fun talking to you guys!! You know I love y’all so much!

I pray this blog helped you!

Till next time! 

– 💕Takyah Love 💕