Tag Archives: life

Marrying Outside of God’s Will..

Marriage is a beautiful thing…

It’s God ordained,

Filled with purpose,

& a love like no other.

If we ask The Lord, I believe He will help us when it comes to finding our mate, oshow us who He has in mind that will best suit the journey ahead.

But

What happens?

If God shows you

the one you’re about to marry,

is not “The one”

Do you risk the embarrassment of calling off the wedding? Or do you just suck it up and make the biggest mistake of your life…

Well…

5 years ago,

that was me.

Engaged. 💍

Lost.

Confused.

And about to make a HUGE mistake.

In today’s blog, “Marrying Outside of God’s Will.” I want to share my story with you, and in doing so, I pray it helps you with knowing who “The One” is, & who “The One” isn’t.

Before we get started, I just want to say this, “If you are disobedient and set on doing things Your Way and not The Fathers, you may want to exit right now, as you will probably not like this blog.

As I have said from day one, since: “Three Ways to Know if A Man is Heaven Sent or Hell Sent.” I tell the truth, the whole truth and Nothing but the truth!

Now back to the blog!

1. 😓 CONFUSION 😓

The number one sign we all know that God is not in a thing, is the lack of His Presence and Peace.

When God wants something for you, His Peace will follow it, and when He doesn’t want something for you; He will not breathe on it, nor will He give you peace about it.

No matter how many times you beg or ask Him to change his mind; when it comes to His Will being done in the earth, I have known The Lord to be VERY unyielding…

Trust me on this sis/bro…

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Story Time:

In December of 2013, my first engagement ring was given to me.

The man that gave it to me didn’t propose, he didn’t get down on one knee, or anything. We simply googled wedding rings one night, ordered two rings and decided; We’re going to get married. Our plan was to elope and have a real wedding later.

Proverbs 19:21We may make a lot of plans, but the LORD will do what He has decided. 

I am not sure what happened or what was attached to that engagement ring, but as soon as I put it on, it felt as if the spirit of The Lord left me.

Although His word says,

Deuteronomy 31:6He will never leave us nor forsake us;

Still, whenever we discussed marriage, or I tried to wear my engagement ring, it felt as if The Lord did leave.

One time, I was so vexed in my spirit from wearing it, that I took it off & decided not to wear it until the day we got married. (Yes, I was very foolish back then.) Without even getting all deep & spiritual;

 in the natural,

 I knew this relationship was not God’s best for me! One day we were happy, the next we were upset. Not to mention his insecurities drove me completely up a wall!

Yet, with all his insecurities, anger issues, drug abuse, cheating, manipulative ways & everything else The Lord kept revealing to me ON PURPOSE, (so I could run in the opposite direction); I still proceeded with the wedding.

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Two months after being given the ring, we went to meet with The Pastor who was going to marry us. He said if he counseled us for a few hours, we could get our marriage license at a discounted price.

As we sat down to talk with him about basic marital things, it felt as if a spirit of darkness literally came in the room and sat on my head. I couldn’t think straight, I could barely hear what they were saying, and I couldn’t even answer the Pastors questions.

It felt like I was having an out of body experience, almost as if I wasn’t even there. When the Pastor asked me if I was okay, I smiled, but deep down inside, I knew This was not God’s will for my life.

After the meeting, my groom to be set the date for us to be married. Strangely, the Day we picked to get married, fell on April Fools Day…

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I know..

I know..

Y’all don’t even have to say anything..🤦🏽‍♀️

Even in that, the Lord was showing me, “Your going to be a fool if you get married to this man.”

What makes it even more sad, was the fact I wasn’t even in love with this man. I was simply comfortable and had become used to the routine of being with him.

Since I was not heeding The Lords direction for my life,

The Lord turned things up a notch🔥…

Which brings me to my next point.

2. ⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️

Warning: a statement or event that indicates a possible or impending danger, problem, or other unpleasant situation.

Although I had many warnings prior to these, I’m listing these because they were the ones I could never forget.

1st Warning ⚠️

I remember it just like it was yesterday. I had driven over to my fiancé’s house and told him I would wait there for him until he got off work so we could spend a little time together. He told me he’d left a key for me under the mat so I could let myself in.

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I went into the kitchen and began washing dishes. After about 10 minutes I heard a noise. Since no one was in the house with me, I shrugged it off as nothing.

A few moments later, when I looked up from washing the dishes, standing in the kitchen window was a dark figure with long teeth and red eyes. It stood on the other side of the window laughing at me.

I dropped the last plate in the sink and took off running with tears flowing down my eyes. I ran down the hallway into his bedroom and locked the door, (as if that could protect me from a spirit). After I locked the door, I began to pray. It seemed as if it took hours of me crying and praying before the presence of that Demonic spirit finally left.

2nd Warning ⚠️

The second warning was on one of our famous movie nights. On these nights, we would cuddle, talk and find a funny movie to watch.

On this particular night, I remember him running his fingers through my hair. Although I usually looked away & blushed when he did this; this time however, I didn’t. I stared back into his eyes, and as I did, his whole face changed before me.

The same demonic spirit I’d seen weeks prior, was literally the face I was staring at as I looked at my fiance. After seeing this I scooted ALLL the way to the other side of the bed. When he asked me what was wrong? I told him what I saw. He smiled, assured me it was nothing and we continued to watch TV.

3rd Warning ⚠️

This actually was the last night I slept over at his house. I believe this was the Final Warning from God, and it scared the living day out of me.

We fell asleep after watching Martin and while I slept, I was given a dream from an angel of The Lord.

The Dream:

I was standing inside of this big mansion, it was very beautiful, but it was so broken on the inside, the walls were torn down, the curtains were ripped, and there were even trophies that had my name on them lying on the ground. The trophies were cracked and shattered.

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In the dream, as I looked around this gloomy mansion, my fiancé appeared before me and his skin began to change, He became frail, thin, and boils started to cover his entire body. Suddenly, worms appeared and began to eat up his flesh until he became a skeleton. As he stretched out his hand toward me, calling my name,

I backed away…

A few feet behind my fiance was a figure standing in the hallway. When I looked closer, it was the same demon I had seen in his house while I was washing dishes! Except this time he wasn’t a shadow; he was in full form.  I could see his body, his long fingers and every detail of his face. He was about 10 feet tall!

& just like all the other times,

He stood there…

pointing and laughing at me.

Seeing this, I took off running🏃🏽‍♀️out of this mansion! Other People were running too! But, they were running in the opposite direction. I didn’t understand it.

Then as I was running, suddenly, three tornadoes 🌪 appeared from out of Heaven. The wind was so strong, I tried to hold onto a pole. All throughout this dream there was a red hat that was on my head, but it kept falling off. It fell off three times but the third time, when I tried to reach out and place it back on my head, I couldn’t! The wind whiffed it away.

Immediately, after the red hat flew away, the ground beneath my feet opened up revealing a fire filled pit.

I looked up to The Heavens and screamed “God why?” “Why are you doing this to me?” (Now, why I shouted that to the top of my lungs? I have no clue because, God wasn’t doing anything to me. My disobedience was causing these things to happen. The Lord was simply showing me the outcome of what being disobedient could cost me in the end.)

*Back to the blog*

As I screamed to the Lord, my fingers slipped from the pole I was holding on to, and I fell into this Fiery 🔥 Pit…

I screamed so loud when I woke up from that dream!

When I woke up, there was an angel standing on my side of the bed. And he said,

Warning comes before Destruction.

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His hand was on my right arm and when he removed his hand, a glowing handprint was left on my arm. It took a few minutes before the print disappeared.

After the angel left, I turned over to see my fiancé knocked out cold.

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I grabbed my bag, my clothes, I didn’t even put my shoes on! I got in my car and left his house at 5 am that morning! I did not speak with him for a whole 2 weeks afterward. I didn’t tell him why or anything. I was too shook up and scared to even think about that dream.

Buttttt…..

even after ALL OF THAT...

I still was a fool y’all… 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Instead of leaving the situation like The Lord wanted me to, I kept trying to fix it. I got a whole list together of things we had to stop doing in order for The Lord to bless our union.

By this time,

 I’m pretty sure The Lord wanted to throw a thunderbolt at me, because I was not getting it!

Even with all the confusion, the darkness and the horrible dreams I had, I still tried to fix it! So the Lord was like, “Okay then…Bet! I got something for your disobedient tail!

Then…these began to happen….

3. WORDS OF CONFIRMATION 🗣

🗣 1st Word:

I was on the phone one night with my friend who was being trained for ministry at the time. (He’s a minister now.) Anywho, as we were on the phone talking about everything that was going on in this relationship, he simply said,

Takyah that is not who God has for you.”

I thought 💭 Mhmm.. okay. Since he liked me at the time, I completely ignored him and thought his word of confirmation was biased to his own intentions for me.

🗣 2nd Word:

After hearing what my friend said I scheduled a meeting with my First Lady to talk about this man. I wanted her to specifically tell me this was not who God had for me.

It’s like I kept looking for ways to justify this relationship; even though I knew God wanted me out of it. I wanted a sign to confirm it. Sadly, God’s voice was not enough for me back then.

Although she didn’t tell me he wasn’t my spouse, she did however, give me a simple instruction to follow. She said, “Takyah, stop having sex with him and during this time, ask the Lord to reveal to you who he really is.”

She said, “I see where you have tried to leave him before and right when you were done with the relationship he would have sex with you or manipulate you & you would stay.” “Once you stop being intimate with him, and ask The Lord to reveal to you who he is, I believe you’re going to have the answer you seek.”

Once I did what she said, I definitely noticed a difference. For the first time, I’d began to see him for who he truly was, (not who I wanted him to be) & let’s just say, (now that the blinders were starting to come off), I did not like who I saw.

However… because of the soul tie we already formed from sex, and being emotionally connected for over 2 1/2 years, (we were friends for 2 years before we started dating) still, it wasn’t enough to make me leave.

But the next Word of Confirmation was…

🗣 3rd Word:

It was a nice Spring night. I cuddled up in my bed with Napoleon 🐶, got me a glass of crisp cranberry juice & turned my TV to TBN. I prayed to the Lord, worshipped, and I felt so good! 😊

Around 3 a.m. The Holy Spirit shook me awoke. He told me to turn my tv up, so I did.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear.

Right when I turned my TV up this preacher who was preaching, paused from His Message, and began to prophesy,

He said,

I don’t know who you are, but you’re a young lady, you’re in a relationship with a boy, that’s right! He’s not even a man! He was sent by Satan to destroy you, destroy your ministry, and destroy your destiny! The Lord said, if you continue to get married to this man and stay in that mess, in 6 months, you will not even recognize yourself.” “And not only will you not be able to recognize yourself, but in a years timing you will get a divorce.” He continued, “As a matter of fact, you’re watching me on TV right now. I know I don’t know you, but the Lord said, Obey Him and watch what He’ll do in your life.”

After he was done with that brief word, he went back to preaching his message as if what he’d said WAS NO BIG DEAL, meanwhile I’m in shock with my mouth glued to my chest.

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That, Ladies and gentleman, was the last nail in the coffin..

Ever since I was a child, I told myself, I am only getting married once. So, it had to be to the right person! I made up my mind that when I got married, I would not get a divorce! The Lord knew I hated divorce, and for a man I don’t even know to prophesy that to me personally through the TV,

Y’all, I was messed up.😳

When I gathered myself, I said, “Okay Lord, I’ll obey.”

One Of The Hardest Days of My Life

The next evening I drove to my fiance’s house, I cooked dinner for him as I had done many times before and once both of us were done eating, his parents came and joined us.

After we finished eating, I opened my mouth & it just came out,

I cannot marry your son.”

His father’s face went sour, and his mother looked confused. When they questioned “Why?” I told them, “The Lord said If I marry him I will be out of His Will.” His mother jumped up from the table and shook her head, “You can marry whoever you want, God gives us free will!”

I told her, “Although, that may be true for some people, I don’t think The Lord has given me that option.” His Father butted in with his own comments, even mumbling under his breath that I was crazy.

After everyone calmed down a bit, they said,

Well, we cannot stop you.”

“Do what you think is best.”

I began to cry and so did my fiance. I went into my purse, pulled out my engagement ring and placed it in my fiance’s hand.

I apologized to them all, and I left…

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When I tell y’all that was the hardest thing ever!!!

I was soo scared, I wondered, What are they going to think of me? What will his family & friends say about me? Here we are about to get married, and a month before our WeddingI am leaving the relationship completely.

This is Crazy…

However, once the Lord gave me the strength I needed to finally leave that toxic relationship, I haven’t looked back since.

 And the peace that followed obeying God??

Oh my gosh!!!

It was incomparable to anything I’d ever felt before!

I could feel the presence of The Lord stronger than ever and His JOY overtook me. I was happy, smiling again, glowing & felt as if a weight had literally been taken off my shoulders.

My relationship with The Lord was crazy dope! After I got rid of the relationship that was draining me, I began experiencing The Lord’s glory like never before.

Me and “Jesus Chroist!!” literally became two peas in a pod.

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Although, I know this blog is kind of long, I must give you one more point…

Then I’ll be done…

4. KNOWING 😔

The thing about dating someone outside of God’s will is this:

You Already Know It..

You know because you have no peace, you know because you’re confused, you know because you feel uneasy when you get around them,

It’s just a knowing in your spirit.

Yet, because of fear you stay with this person anyway…

Whether your fear is stemmed from:

  • hating change (so you stay)
  • being scared of the outcome if you leave
  • hating to start over (because you’ve invested so much into this)
  • wondering what people would say if you left
  • or something else (bleh, blah. (etc.)

Whatever it is, it’s still FEAR.

I am here to tell you that neither of those fears are bigger than The LORD…

Y’all, I can go on and on with this, but I am done..

I believe I have said everything The Lord wants me to say.

Just know sis/bro that whatever you have to give up for the Lord’s will to be done,

Will be multiplied and given back to you a 100x better than what you gave up.

The months, years, or even decades you have wasted on the wrong person will be restored.

I promise you.

God is not a man that he must lie.

And one more thing

I promise this is the last thing y’all! 😂

If God gives you someone that is beautiful on the inside as well as the out, someone who prays for you, loves you unconditionally, serves you, caters to you, cherishes you, and cares for you, even when you’re at your worst.

Don’t be stupid.

If you have God’s stamp of approval, His peace, your relationship is blooming, the both of you are growing, and you’re stronger together than you ever were being by yourself.

Don’t mess it up…

*God ordained covenants* are so rare these days, because many people settle in the wilderness before they make it to the promised land..

With that being said,

If you’ve made it to the promised land and you’re with the one who makes your soul jump

and The Lord is in it👀 …

Stay right There sis/bro…

Stay right there…

Love,

Takyah Love

The Truth About The One.

It seems like much of our lives is spent on wondering about the one, when they’re going to show up, how will we know when it’s them, etc. Such and so forth..

I think sometimes we as singles can overthink it so much, to where “The One” literally passes us by. In today’s blog, “The Truth About The One.” I’m going to give you three practical tips you can use when it comes to finding the one. I hope these little nuggets will help make finding your true love even easier.

1. Ask God

Who wants a relationship without the Lord being involved?

I know I don’t!

I’ve had too many relationships in the past without His blessing and all of them quickly turned sour.

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One thing I’ve learned from experience is that,

If God is not in it, neither will I be.

Including The Lord in your decision making process rids your love life from a lot of confusion. I believe The Lord will surround any relationship He approves of, with “His Peace.”

I don’t want to stay on this point too long, because I think it’s pretty self explanatory. However, I must make some things very clear. When it comes to asking the Lord if someone is “The One.” Make sure you’re hearing from God👂🏽and not from people or yourself. You don’t want to say “Yes!” to someone The Lord has not approved of, neither do you want to dismiss a person The Lord has placed right in front of you.

Something happened to me a while ago, and I thought I heard the Lord say something about this man I was interested in. Turns out,

The Lord never said anything…😬

Just recently when I asked The Lord about this man again, (just out of curiosity) His response was this,

Takyah I never told you anything about him. You simply took my silence as Me saying No.”

After hearing that, all I could say was “Oh.”

In reality, what really happened was, I’d become anxious and wanted to know right away if this was “The One“.

(Because I sometimes fear wasting time, if ever I start to like someone, I usually go to God and get straight to the point)!

But, since The Lord didn’t answer me quick enough (like I wanted Him to) I did what I’m notorious for doing! I messed the whole thing up!

Yep 👍🏼! That’s good ole classic Takyah! (lol)img_5849

I told myself “no” told the guy “no.” Then I completely shut myself down from this person and went on about my business.

⭐️NOTE: Have patience singles and try not to be “so deep.”

Sometimes, God will say “No.” right away, and sometimes (as I’ve just recently learned) He will be silent, and leave the rest for you to figure out. If you’ve already messed it up, like me. That’s okay! God already knew you were going to do that from the beginning, so don’t fret my loves!

If God wants someone for you, He knows how to make people do a total (360) & come back around! & if not, God’s got your back regardless! Trust sis/bro The Lord is not slack on giving out spouses!

However, for future references, I do want to leave you with a wisdom nugget.

⭐️NOTE: Don’t mess up something with someone that could be good for you, because you didn’t get a, “YES THIS IS THE ONE!” from God right away.

2. The Person You Can’t Live Without

This point is mainly for my guys.

When it comes to finding “The One“, because (finding/pursuing) her, is mainly a job shared between you and The Lord.

Yes! The Lord will help you out fellas. He did it for Adam, he did it for Isaac, and he can do it for you! He is no respecter of persons.

However, once God presents someone to you, you do have a part! I want to give you a tip that I believe is going to help make your part just a little bit easier!

Let’s say you talk to 3 different women.

And don’t dare give me that, “I only talk to one woman at a time crap!” Because I don’t want to hear it 🤚🏽!

I know men.

Now, back to the point.

Let’s say you’re talking to 3 different women. Not exclusively in a relationship with each one, (that’s cheating) but let’s just say you’re simply talking to them, and getting to know each one a little better, (before you decide on which one you want to be with).

When it comes to narrowing it down and finding “The One.” I want you to get a mental picture of all three women that you talk to.

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Got the picture?

Okay great👍🏼!

Now that you’ve got that picture. I want you to take the first woman and completely erase her from your little black book!

Because now, Lady number one has just gotten married!!!

And the man she got married to

Was Not You.

Envision this woman posting pictures of her and her new man,

and how much fun they’re having together on all these beautiful trips!

Envision her and her husband (not you) posting “It’s a boy!” Baby pictures all on her timeline.

Imagine watching from the sidelines as her and her new hubby opens up a business together and becomes all cute and successful!

And then The Holidays roll around…

and just when you thought you’ve had enough,

Her husband (Not You) posts about how much he loves her, how she’s the best Gift God could have ever given him, (blah, blah, blah)

Envision this same scenario with the second woman in it, and finally the third.

The woman who (the idea of her being with someone else) angers/grieves you the most, is probably the one you should focus on. Obviously, (unbeknownst to you) she’s the one you like the most.

It’s not rocket 🚀 science fellas. It’s actually quite simple.

When it comes to “The One“, I think you should simply,

⭐️Find the person you can’t live without and make it work with them.

If you’re okay, with your lady friend marrying someone else and seeing pictures of her and her new boo posted all down your timeline, (and it doesn’t bother you) you’re probably just wasting time with her (until you think someone else better comes along).

But….

If something inside of you boils 😤 when you picture a particular woman getting married and you know you would NOT be happy seeing this woman with someone else.

Let that be an indicator that you should (probably) do something about it, and if you’re already talking to her, maybe you should make the relationship between the two of you exclusive. By all means don’t rush into anything! But, I must warn you not to be too slow either.

We don’t want this picture below to be your fate.😬

3. Opposites Attract

(This tip is not a prerequisite to finding “The One” I just think it’s pretty cool.)

Having someone who thinks differently than you is beautiful. Your not annoyed by each other. Yet you compliment each other so well.

You like hot 🔥 they like cold ❄️so you guys decide that warm is best for the both of you.

You like banana’s 🍌, they like pudding 🥣and you put them both together and you got a delicious 🤤 banana pudding. (I made banana pudding the other day, that’s why I used that example.)

But you guys get where I’m going with this! Right? (lol)

The Thing is, opposites make great relationships. You have one person who’s spontaneous and another person who stays in the box, and it’s a complete adventure when the two of them get together.

It’s a healthy balance.

I don’t know about you, but I once tried to date someone who was just like me, and it was boring. We made great friends. But boyfriend and girlfriend?

Uhm no.

We were so much alike it was crazy! Even his birthday was a few days before mine! He didn’t challenge me, he didn’t think differently than me, we always thought just alike.

It was a nice… boring relationship…

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In finding “The One” I believe being with someone who’s different than you can be so beneficial. It’s okay to have some things in common but having everything in common is not that fun.

⭐️NOTE: Don’t shy away from people because they’re different from you, you might miss out on meeting a great person.

Embrace your differences and learn the world through someone else’s point of view. That’s what makes relationships truly beautiful!

Once again it has been my pleasure!

Until next time!

Love,

Takyah Love

3 Turn Offs For A Strong Woman!

There is nothing like finding a strong woman.

She’s reliable.

She’s smart.

She’s beautiful.

She’s honest.

And most of all she’s strong.

That’s why you want to keep her right?

Right.

Well fellas, today’s blog, “3 Ways To Turn Off A Strong Woman” is ALL ABOUT YOU. I want you to make the right decisions when dating this kind of woman so that when you get her, you wont lose her. One thing about it, strong women are worth the effort and work, but we can be pretty hard to get.

Lets dive right in guys! 

1. Being Too Sensitive

Women love a guy who’s in touch with his sensitive side.

But…

Not too much in touch..

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Then we’ll start to wonder.

If a woman has to constantly baby you all the time, she will cringe in her stomach. There is nothing more beautiful to a woman than seeing her man be all big and strong and confident! However, if that confidence breaks in a second due to someone cracking a joke or hurting her mans feelings. She will be a tad bit disturbed inside.

How do I know?

Because I once dated a guy like this and lets just say I quickly cut him off. He was always whining about this and that and crying over such small matters. One day when I was listening to him whine, I literally stopped what I was doing to sit back & listen to him. In my head I was thinking💭 “Oh, my gosh dude, your like 6 feet tall and 230 pounds and you’re whining everyday like this?”

So Annoying.

Fellas,  if you want to keep her around, don’t be too sensitive. Seeing a big, strong, handsome man cry at the drop of a hat and get offended every day is just not cute. That’s a chore I will leave another woman to do. I will not be babying 🍼 a grown man every day.

Catering, serving and spoiling him??

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Yes! 

Babying, apologizing every 5 seconds and walking on eggshells for him??

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Uhm…No!

Before I get to the next point I want to leave you a little checklist. So you can kind of know when it’s okay to cry and when it’s not.

Reasons to Cry

  • Worshiping God or In The Presence of God. (Yes baby, Cry away! That is beautiful!)
  • Wedding Day!
  • You and your wife’s first baby (over filled with joy)
  • Loss of a loved one. (Of course. Cry for weeks, months, take all the time you need dear!)
  • Other happy events like graduation, engagement, kids first day at school, accomplishing a big task or a dream coming true. (etc.) (Yes all those are cute).

Reasons NOT to cry

  • Someone checked you. (Simply check back and laugh about it).
  • Your girl tells you, maybe you should wear something else. (Just change the clothes, don’t take it to heart. Men help us get ready all the time! We’ll say “Honey is this cute?” and if he says “No.” Guess what? We put on something else! It’s not that big of a deal).
  • You lost while playing a video game. (seriously guys?)
  • Your girl doesn’t like the gift you bought her. (Next time take her shopping and let her pick out what she wants. You may not be a good gift giver and that’s okay! usually men aren’t.)

But pleasssseee don’t cry about it! 😓 geeshhh…

Moving On!

2. Playing Games

Oh my goodness, I cannot stress this enough. Men are game players by nature. They have been playing them since the beginning of time. Little boys start out playing with action figures, toy cars, Mario kart, (etc.) and as they get older, it turns into basketball, football, playing pool, madden.

Women however played with baby dolls, (preparing us for children), doll houses (preparing us for a family and a home), and we played with cooking stoves and easy bake ovens (preparing us to cook). So we are a little more serious about relationships naturally than men are.

And that’s okay. 

We’re supposed to balance each other out.

However, playing games on a woman, (especially a strong woman) is not good…

Not good at all…

Saying you’ll call her back later, only not to call her because you want to act tough and regain some stupid power back that you feel you’ve lost is stupid. So is, playing some egotistical logic on her, that you and your clueless buddies came up with.

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Fellas, those things will not show her anything.

But she, however, will show you the BLOCK zone.

Few Other Games Not to Play

  • The Not Keeping Your Word Game, Telling her you’ll do things and then don’t, is a quick way to get dismissed as well.
  • The Fall Back Game, mature women will not try to guess why you all of sudden fell back, if you repeatedly do this after she’s spoken to you about her feelings, she will start to ignore you and all your past efforts would have been wasted.
  • The Reverse Psychology and trying to make a woman figure you out Game, look guys, dating is already strenuous as it is, and women don’t need all that extra drama that unstable men sometimes bring to the table, being wishy washy is a game strong women will not play.

You will be playing all those games by yourself.

So, fellas don’t play games with a strong woman, simply be yourself and let the relationship flow.

NOTE: Don’t get advice from men who don’t have a clue about dating women. If you need advice, get it from a man who’s wise and has experience dating strong classy women, or, better yet get advice from an older wise woman.

3. Clingy Spirit

Affectionate: readily feeling or showing fondness or tenderness. devoted; caring.

Clingy: someone who likes you who becomes obsessed. 

The reason I gave you both definitions is because I wanted you to know that there is a difference! A man’s affection is beautiful!!!!!!! (yes I had to put all those exclamation marks so you can know how important your affection is to us).

Your kind heart and affection towards us gives us the same feeling you get when we praise you for doing something, or when we respect you/submit to you. Let me give you an example.

Example

Woman: “Baby can you fix this shelf for me, it keeps falling?”

Man: “Yeah, I think so. Let me try.”

Man: (Gets nails & hammer, and succeeds).

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Woman: (Jumps all over him) “Oh my goodness baby you’re so strong and smart!! Ugh, I just love having you around! You help me out so much! Thank you Baby!!!” (Kisses him)

Men we all know, that you will be smiling from ear to ear. You’ll be thinking (man that was so small and she did all that just cause I helped her fix a shelf?) But guess what? You would be more attracted to her than you would if you were to perform that same task for another woman who simply said. “Thanks.”

That’s because the first lady made you feel some kind of value from you simply being there and helping her out. And just like you would get happy from the above scenario. (Because you felt appreciated.) Us women feel the same way when men are tender and affectionate toward us.

Men look at (respect+praise=love) and women look at (time+affection=love).

That’s why when men do small things for us. We’ll go and tell the whole world!

Girl let me tell you about my man honey…”

We’ll call up every girl we know and brag on what you just did and how you did it, because we like bragging on our mans love toward us. That’s us telling all our girls, “Yeah your man is good, but mines is the best!”

NOTE: Affection is a woman’s measuring stick to love.

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I don’t really know why were like that…lol but we are. So, if you really like this woman and you’ve been dating her for some time now, get with the program brother!

Start being affectionate.

If you’re not affectionate we take it as “He doesn’t like me.” A man being cold and distant is not readable. Meaning, we can’t figure out if you’re interested or not. The bad thing is, some of you men may actually like this woman but you’re talking yourself out of doing nice things for her because you don’t want to come off as “Sprung.” or like “You’re doing too much too soon.” “I don’t want her to think I’m blah..blah..blah..” 🙄

Let me just tell you fellas, whatever the reason is for you not being affectionate towards her, I should tell you, (affection and being kind) melts any strong woman’s heart. No matter how strong she may be.

Examples of Affection:

  • Taking her out to a place she’s been wanting to go to, & giving her some cheesy cute necklace. (And yes we actually fall for that stuff…it’s terrible how easy we are sometimes…🙄)
  • If she changed something about herself, like her hair, hair color, or loss weight (etc.) or she simply looks good to you, tell her! When you pass by her just say, “I like the new hair color it really looks nice on you.” (trust she will be saying to herself all day “Omg! I cant believe he noticed my hair?”)
  • Tell her how much she means to you, and kiss her on the hand or the forehead afterwards. (Once again, cheesy. But we’re total suckers🍭.)
  • Thought I was going to give you another point huh? The devil is a lie, I’m not finna give you all this good information to use on my ladies like that! 😂

Now, moving on!

On the flip side….

I must also let you know,

NOTE: Affection is Not Obsession!

And there is not a thin line between the two!

They are two T-O-T-A-L-L-Y different things!

Stalking a woman, calling her all day everyday, blowing up her inbox with,

  • Hi, 👋🏼 my love.
  • Who you with?
  • I miss you.
  • What you doing now?
  • Dang, so you just gonna ignore me like that?
  • Aight, cool.
  • (Text back 10 minutes later) “Okay, I’m not mad no more, I want to see you.”
  • You want to hang tomorrow then?

Oh my goodness that is disgustinggg…

How do I know fellas?

Once again, I have dated this kind of man. Not to mention that I still get daily crazy messages from men all over the world. A few years back, I started talking to this guy for two days. We messaged each other for about a week before I finally gave him my number. Immediately, I regretted my decision. After our second phone conversation this man took a few moments to pause and tell me how much he loved me. How he’d never felt this way before. And not only did he love me, but he wanted me to meet his parents the following weekend. He had a farm and wanted to take me horse back riding (he was rich) and it totally bummed 🙁 because….

I’ve always wanted to ride a horse, butttt if I had to deal with a crazy person to do it…

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Ehhh…. I’ll pass. lol. Some women may deal with a clingy man, to use him or get money from him but not this girl. Rich or not if you’re clingy and crazy, I’m cutting you off, point blank.

Seriously fellas, nothing says desperate like a man who’s constantly calling a woman, constantly on her tail, constantly stalking her, telling her all these sweet things and she has yet to reciprocate that love back to him. Now I’m not talking about men who are pursuing a woman and trying to find out about her. No. Once again don’t mis- understand me. I am speaking about the psycho’s who constantly text, call, and leave messages with no remorse and no conscience. A man behaving in such a manner is NOT AT ALL ATTRACTIVE!!!

A strong woman will run the opposite way.

Okay guys, I hoped you all enjoyed the blog!

Once again, its been fun hanging with yall!

Until next time!

💋TakyahLove 💋

Discerning Between A Friend & A Foe. 

Finding friends in today’s society can seem very hard. Trust me! I’ve been praying to God for almost 4 years now to send me a best friend!

I imagine this friend to be a woman I could talk to about anything, pray with, fast with, go shopping with, tell my deepest thoughts to & someone I could trust. 

The only problem is, when you’ve been alone for so long. (like I have) It can become difficult to discern who’s legit and who’s not.

In today’s blog, “Discerning Between a Friend and a Foe.” I want to help you discern between a true friend & a person who’s simply posing as one.

Let’s jump right into it!

Characteristics of a FOE: 

Foe: a person who feels enmity, hatred, or malice toward another; enemy: a thing that is harmful to or destructive of something.

A while ago there was this lady who told me she was “sent” to be my friend; because I was going through such a vulnerable time, I allowed this person to come into my life, without running it by God. *big mistake*

⭐️NOTE: watch people closely who say “they’re sent to be in your life” its true that people are sent; but WHO sent them is the real question.

Before I knew it, her problems became my problems. I was helping her out, doing what I could to make sure she was okay. Basically, I’d become her “go to girl! Which was fine! That’s what friends are for! Right? 

However, when she no longer needed me, she threw me to the curb, stopped calling me, stopped hanging out with me and to top it off, disclosed everything we’d talked about in secret to other people. I was hurt greatly but I definitely learned my lesson!

Here’s what I learned:

  • A Foe will always come into your life and bring drama with them. (If someone comes into your life & it seems all Hell is coming with them, ask God if you should get involved. If he doesn’t respond, pray for them & send them on their merry way! Do not mistake God’s silence as his way of saying “yes” to helping them. You cannot help everybody sis!) 
  • A Foe will use you & throw you away like a used napkin. (Ask yourself, am I always helping them? Am I always giving out to them? If so, try saying “NO.” a few times & see if they’ll stick around. If not, *pat yourself on the back 👏🏽, you just exposed them for who they really are.) 
  • Do they talk about everyone else in their life, and then go play victim? (If they can’t keep their mouths off of the very people they claim they love, then what do you think they’re going to say about you once their done using you? Remember sis, God doesn’t deal in gossip or mess. Be very careful of someone who keeps their mouths on others.)


  • A Foe will not support you. (Watch their faces when you speak about your dreams or accomplishments. Do they smile & support you? Or do they get really quiet and never respond. Watch that sis! One thing I’ve learned, is that jealousy is hard to hide.)
  • A Foe is on a mission to distract & destroy. (What is the purpose of this new friendship? Are they helping you become a better you? Are they pushing you closer to your destiny? Or are they being used as a distraction by the enemy, to get you off course? Find out what they’re here for! And find out quick! If they’re not helping you, chances are they’re hurting you.)

⭐️NOTE: Do not allow people to just waltz into your life without any explanation of why they’re there.

  • A Foe will compete with you. (Instead of being happy for you they will compete with everything you do.) 

Let me give you an example: 

Tina: Hey, Clarice! I have to speak somewhere and I really want you to be there! You think you can come?

Clarice: Yes girl! I’ll be there! (But instead of them showing up, they make up an excuse) 

Scenario #2

Tina: Girl you see this new phone I got! Isn’t it cute?

Clarice: Doesn’t say anything. She simply goes out the next day & buys the same phone. Then shows it to Tina.

Scenario #3

Tina: I think God wants me to write a book!

Clarice: Yeah, he told me the same thing! I’m about to write one too!

Ladies, You get the picture! Foe’s constantly compete with you! They don’t know how to be happy for you because they’re not happy with themselves or their own lives!

Real friends do not compete, they complete each other! We all have different purposes & different destinies. As a friend, It is my job to encourage and help my friends reach their destination! There is no competition in the kingdom of God or a God-ordained relationship.

Characteristics of a FRIEND:

Friend: a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard: a person who is not hostile.

  • Friends pour into each other selflessly. (They do it without wanting something in return.)
  • Friends tell the truth. (They would never lie on you or lie to you.) 
  • Friends are there when you’re up and when you’re down. When people praise you & when they curse you. (If they’re happy when you have a downfall. Or if they can never celebrate with your accomplishments, check them. Real friends don’t do that.)

⭐️Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

  •  Friends support you. (Not just in word but in deed. If you have endeavors and this person who claims to be your friend never shows up to support you. Something is wrong.) 
  • Friends are honest. (There is a difference between honesty & being rude. If they always have negative things to say. Pay attention. Are they really being honest? Or are they spewing out hate in subtle ways.) 
  • Friends will never sabotage your life. (If something good comes are they always speaking against it? You’ve recently met this great man and your friend is constantly speaking against him, because there’s no one in her life. Or maybe, you just started a new project and your friend is telling you to do something else because to her “that’s not for you.”) 

⭐️ NOTE: Foe’s love to sabotage your life and dress it up like “they’re concerned.” Be watchful of that spirit sis! 

It’s one thing, for a friend to give you honest counsel and tell you maybe it’s not the right time for that or to wait on God.
However, if they’re constantly downplaying everything you set your mind to do! Chances are, they’re not a friend!

If God tells you to do something, do it sis! Real friends understand the call that God placed on your life.

They will never dishonor you or try to control who God created you to be!

Okay, that’s all for today ladies! 

Comment if you could relate to this blog or if it helped you out

Until next time my loves! 😘

I pray you all have a wonderful September🍂

Also, if you haven’t seen my new video on YouTube! Here’s the link:

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 

Hey ladies!

I know I haven’t written to you girls in a while! I’ve been finishing this newbook that is going to change your life! Ahhh!!! I’m so excited to spill the details!

However…since the bible says, be hasty for nothing! I won’t say a word! No matter how much I want to!! Simply know, it’s going to be the bomb💥!! As it get’s closer to the release date, I’ll discuss more of the details then!

Okay, let’s get to it!

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 

1. LIP SERVICE 🗣

⭐️NOTE: A Prince talks more than he moves and speaks more than he listens.  A prince is always telling you what you want to hear, instead of telling you what you need to hear!

And what you need to hear is, THE TRUTH!

Rarely, will he tell you the truth about him, his finances, his life or anything!

Matter of fact, you might’ve been dating this man for over 6 months now and you’re still unsure of EXACTLY WHO HE IS!?! Why??? Because he lies so much, that it’s hard to decipher between when he’s lying and when he’s actually telling the truth! At this point, you don’t know WHAT TO BELIEVE!? The first day you met him, was a Cop & now…. He’s a Power Ranger?

While on the flip side!..

⭐️NOTE: A King 👑 not only tells you the truth. But he doesn’t even speak, until he’s sure he can fulfill whatever promise he’s about to make to you. 

A King may not have all those “fancy” words and romantic gestures that a “prince charming” has. But when he grabs you by the hand, looks you in your eye and tells you, “Baby, I got you, I’m going to do it.” You can bet Alllll your money on it

Why?

Because a King is a man of order & priority.
He knows how it feels to be let down. And if he cares for you, the very last thing he would ever want to do is tell you something and not come through for you!!

                2. HE’S SO ROMANTIC 💏

A prince never minds this! He thrives off of it!

                              Why??

Because his number one☝🏽goal is to get you in bed sweetie! He uses charm & his romantic routine to try to get you going!

I wish a brother would come with some “Candles lit, Rose pettles 🥀 all on the floor, Doves 🕊 flying out of the cage at Dinner. Whip cream, Strawberries and Cherries🍒?!?” (And we ain’t married)

MANNNN If You Don’t Get This Stuff Outta’ Here! I’MA CALL MY DADDY!! And you Bets’ believe (Memphis slang) He gone’ have them horses and chariots waiting for you outside Playa! (yeah don’t play with me) lol…

Ladies c’mon!!!

A prince‘s whole world is revolved around pleasing himself!! He’s not into you! How many “other” women do you think he’s done those very same things with before you??

Being romantic is not buying you a Matching “bra and panties set” from Victoria’s SecretHe’s actually demeaning you and saying to himself (or to his boys), “I ain’t got to do much for her, Ima take her to Waffle House, Taco Bell or some like that, buy her some cute panties, a cheap movie and I got her.

Sis…Do you really think so low of yourself?!?
You are special and should not be treated like a midnight rendezvou!! A King 👑 will not take “sex” and dress it up like its “romance.” He will buy you flowers, pay for your food, he won’t wait around until your clothes start to have holes in them (before he starts to buy you some new ones), & if you fall on hard times he will make sure that your lights are paid for and that your cell phone is kept on…..

uhm….hello? 

Anyone there?? 

See, Honey, I’m talking about a King

I’m talking about a man that will make you a (home-made card) from scratch. And even though it looks like a 5 year old made the card. 😂😉 When you open the card & burst into laughter. That’s what makes his day! (He just loves seeing you smile)

A King will take his hand, rub your hair to put your hair back in place. Simply because you had a few pieces sticking up.

A King is a man who will tell you, “Baby you got lettuce in your teeth.” Instead of letting you walk around all day looking like this. ⤵️

                     Ladies pay attention!!! 👀

A King will never pretend with you! If he likes you, he’ll let you know. If he doesn’t he won’t waste your time.

                             Why??

Because…..That’s Just Who He Is! 

He’s been real with you from the beginning!

He’s never fronted with you!

He doesn’t have to put up this fake facade like he’s this “suavebillionaire GQ Man, 
neither does he ma
feel like you should be lucky to be with him! No ma’am. Instead, a King will look at you and thank God for you because he knows that, just like a good man is hard to come by,

So is a Good Woman…..


Okay ladies! 

That is all for now!

I pray this all helped you!

If you want me to make a “Part 2” to this blog! Comment below and let me know!

Until next time!!!

Love you!!! 

🌸Takyah Love