🎶Celibacy Blues🎶

⭐️⭐️THIS BLOG IS RATED: M⭐️⭐️

             (For Mature Readers Only)

Ladies!

Ladies!

L…A…D…I…E…S!!! 

Oh, I have missed you girls sooo much!! I feel like I’ve been away from you for far too long!! Nevertheless, I am here! And ready to talk!!
                               So, let’s talk!

One of the questions I get asked often as a young single (23) who’s abstaining is, “How in the heck, are you doing it??
When asked this question, I usually signal them for a private seat in the corner where we both pull up a chair & talk about it!

                    Cause honey…it ain’t easy!

From trying out tips on google, to doing funny things *married people advised me; one tip for instance, was to”Go take a cold Shower!” 🙄

Honey…I done did it all!!!

In today’s blog, 🎶Celibacy Blues🎶 I am going to share with you some of the tips that have actually worked for me in the past & are still working for me now

                             You ready?!?

Okay. Let’s Go!!

🍒💍 Celibacy in effect: Dating 💍🍒

1.Setting Boundaries.

Boundaries: something that indicates bounds or limits; a line you don’t cross once stated or drawn.

Over the course of my years. I’ve heard many church people say that “Dating is wrong!” and “Christians shouldn’t date!”
But, the problem is not dating the problem is *how a person dates… When it comes to “celibacy & dating” one of the most important things I’ve learned is to establish CLEAR boundaries!

⭐️ NOTE: Without boundaries, your flesh won’t know how far it can go before the answer is no.

A long time ago…
(after making my vow to GodI began dating this handsome football player.
We went out on a few dates, talked on the phone, hung out in his car & listened to old school music. Overall, dating him was fun.

One night around 9 p.m.
I invited him over to my house for a date! Our plans were to watch a movie & order pizza.🍕

The movie hadn’t been on for (5 minutes) before this man started rubbing my thighs & back-endI tried politely telling him “No.”
                 But he wasn’t listening! 
After a few more minutes of asking him to stop & constantly having to move his hand;
I hopped out of bed. And for the first time in my life. I showed a man to the door…

I deleted his number & never called him again.

Now let me go back to what I said earlier. It was not dating him that made it wrong. It was HOW I was dating him.

First of All…

WHAT IN THE WORLD?? Was this man doing coming over to my house at 9 p.m?! Secondly, Why were we laying in my bed watching the movie? (when that same “big screen” is in the Living Room) & lastly, Why was I lying my head on this mans chest? (knowing good-n-well, a man is naturally going to want to hold & touch a woman.)

 THIS IS WHY BOUNDARIES MUST BE SET 

We cannot put ourselves in situations that God is not apart of and then get mad at the man if something “else” happens! Or worse! Get mad at God for not stopping it!

Although, its true that God will provide a way out of tempting situations. Why put yourself in a place that requires Flesh Testing.
In the heat🔥of the moment…who’s to say if you will take that way out or not?

Here’s some Tips that can help:

  • Date “godly men” who are on the same page as you! (don’t talk to anyone who is trying to add you to his “list” of women he’s slept with)
  • Date with a purpose in mind. (some men are sent with assignments from Hell just to be distractions) 

*Remember? We discussed this in; Three Ways to Know If a Man is Heaven sent or Hell sent.

  • Don’t put yourself in unnecessary situations that makes your flesh battle! (coming in your house with him late at night & planning dates to spend over at *his crib* are recipes for disasters!) 
  • Extinguish the flame before it starts! (Don’t wait till both of y’all are standing naked looking at each other to say, (Lord Help.)

Nip that bud in the beginning!

  • Move his hand from off your thigh!
  • Turn down Marvin Gaye & Lenny Williams!!!

And for Pete’s sake, if y’all do decide to kiss before marriage.

               DON’T ADD THAT TONGUE!!! 

 

🍒💍Celibacy in effect: Lustful Thoughts💍🍒

2. Casting Down Imaginations. 

Here is where it gets real… 

For years I battled with thoughts.

  • Nasty thoughts. 
  • Perverted thoughts. 
  • And pornography.

             (The Lord told me to be real)

I would watch nasty movies and then tell myself I’m going to do all those things to my husband when I got married!
I would browse for hours ⏰ just watching movies and studying sex because I wanted to be the best.

I will never forget this day…

I was sitting in my room meditating on the intimate part of being married. I envisioned me and some (*made up husband) having sex!

Then after about 30 minutes of heating my mind and body up with all those sexual thoughts 💭.

I fell to my knees and screamed to the top of my lungs… 

LORD!!! I NEED MY HUSBAND!!! Pleassseee Lord!!!!!
You gotta send him now Lord!!! HELPPPPP!!!!!

Y’all, I’m so glad God didn’t answer those lustful frantic prayers I use to pray. Cause 3 years ago, I was definitely not ready for a husband!!

Although God didn’t answer my prayers like I wanted him to; he did respond!

He gave me the solution to my problem in one sentence.

He said,

“You don’t need a husband…what you need is self control.”

I could not believe this!

    Did God just get smart with me????

Although, I now understand, God’s wonderful grace & mercy! Back then I didn’t!

Here I was…packing my mind with garbage! Then expecting God to come & rescue me once I’d finished polluting my mind…
Instead of meditating on”being married & having sex.

I should’ve been meditating on scriptures such as these:

  • ⭐️Philippians 4:8- Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
  • ⭐️2 Corinthians 10:5-Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
  • ⭐️Romans 8:3-For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

How crazy of me to think that those things were okay! Just because I wasn’t “having sex” doesn’t mean I was free to do whatever I wanted! *Pornography & having a lustful heart* are just as bad as sex! No matter what people may tell you! (Including fellow Christians!)

Honey please….sin is sin!

Tips to Help:

  • Replace Lustful thoughts with the word of God! (When the Lord first started telling me to speak his word over my mind. I thought 💭”Is this really gonna help me?”)

*However, the more I started speaking his word, the less the thoughts came! Before I knew it, I hadn’t watched pornography in a whole month! Then 2 months! Then 3! Till one day I thought about how long it had been and to my surprise, a whole year had passed!! And by that time I was so over it! Instead of clicking on those “pop ups” I began praying in tongues & speaking against it! 

  • Stay away from movies with too much flesh in them! (One thing I practice greatly is watching what I set before my eyes. I don’t watch anything that excites my flesh. (*cough* cough*) That means movies like: “The Notebook” & “Baby boy 🚲“(for my urban movie sistas) are off limits! Okay?? 
  • We have to ask God for help! (No matter how righteous we may think we are. We all need Jesus and his grace! It only takes a second to fall. So, continue to ask God for his help!) 

There have been times when I cried out for help, because my body became 🔥hot & 😫unbearable!

And in those times the Lord helped me so much!

This one time I kneeled down to pray for strength & before I could finish praying, The Holy Ghost literally punched me into a deep sleep!!

When I woke up hours later, alllll those feelings were gone!

However, when I get to Heaven…We still gonna’ have to talk about that punch though…🤔


🍒💍Celibacy in effect: The Promise💍🍒

3. I’ve Come to Far…

When I think of Jesus…

I simply cannot do it.

Ya’ll, I love him so much! I just cannot go out there and sin against him! Although, we all have our battles and deal with flesh! There are just some sins… I must refuse.

           God ordained “Sex” for marriage…

                           (nothing else)

Not for a boyfriend. Not for a girlfriend. Not for a fiancee’ and not for ourselves (sex toys)

So, if God wants me to wait till marriage… Then I will. When I made up my mind to give my body to God; I meant what I said, and he has given me the grace to keep my vow.

I have not kissed, been held, been touched or any of the like for years now!

(May 2017 will begin my 4th year of Celibacy)

This is not to brag; this is to give any of you who may want to take the “celibacy challenge” with me hope. I’m telling you sis, it is so worth it!! Not only do I avoid frivolous “soul ties” but I can wake up every morning with a smile on my face; knowing I didn’t give my body to *some man last night (soley for the illusion of love.) 

Now, I could go on and on about the benefits… but I won’t.

I’m going to give you just one more, then I’m done.

I know I said “Not to think of your husband* but this time I want you to imagine him…

It’s your wedding night, you have on this pretty little thing that you bought especially for this night…and as you lay down…you get the pleasure of telling him,

                       “I waited for you.

Not, “Oh, I slept with Tom in February, Dick in March and then Harry in May.”

When you are tempted to have sex, stop & think about him; and how much he will appreciate you for saying “No.” to all those other guys..just to wait for him…

Now that sisIs worth it!

Love,

🌸Takyah Love🌸

 

Getting Back Into The Dating Game! (Part 2)

Hey Ladies and Gents! I hope you all enjoyed part one to “Getting Back Into The Dating Game!” Don’t forget to comment & share the blog with your friends! Let’s get started!                                   

                             👠Ladies👠                        

                       4. Cover it Up! 

There was this time in my life, when I used to let it all hang out! I’m sure you girls remember that horrible selfie I posted in “Beauty from Within…” a couple of months ago.  
Honay,… honayy! I knew I had a nice curvy body & I would go parading 🎊 those lil hips of mine all over the place!!!

(That was before I really knew Jesus) 

As I constantly kept showing off “what my mama gave me.” I noticed something. The clothes I thought, would finally get a man to love me, only got men to lust after me. I was using my body as bait, yet never catching any fish! 
Man after man! They all wanted to sleep with me! They would pretend to be my friend long enough for them to spring the sex question up and when I told them “I’m practicing abstinence.” They would laugh at me as if I was lying.

The problem was, I was a good girl, trying to use bad girl tips. Which kept producing: bad girl results! One Sunday afternoon, (after I’d start attending church) the First Lady pulled me aside & said this:

 ⭐️⭐️⭐️”Wear your clothes tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.“⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

What she was telling me was this; there is nothing wrong with cute shirts, jeans, dresses or heels! However, when you go out, make sure you dress to represent our daddy! (God). It’s still possible to dress fashionably, without looking like you don’t have class.  

For instance , all of these outfits are “No Go’s!” 

 Wearing outfits like this ⬆️ will not only misrepresent God; in addition they will also make you appear as if you’re a bedroom woman
I’ve heard many women complain about how all the good men look over them & how they only attract men who disrespect them.(that used to be my complaint as well)

But if we don’t respect ourselves, who will? 

Sis, you cannot demand from others what you don’t give to yourself! In fact I guarantee! If you start respecting yourself a little bit more & covering up all those goodies, men will have no problem respecting you for the princess you are
                             Remember! 
Men see who you are longgg before they hear who you are; so don’t let what they see, detour them away from the beautiful person you are on the inside.

 ⭐️Note: How you treat yourself is how you train others to treat you. 

 ⭐️Note: If you need a little help on what to wear for your next date. How’s about trying something like this? ⬇️ Cute! Yet, it shows you have respect for yourself! 😘                       

                     👠Ladies and GENTS👔                 

                  5. Please Include God!!!

 I know! I know guys! This should be number 1 on the dating tips!! However, I wasn’t writing the blog in chronological order, so cut me some slack!! Okay??

 *Back to the Blog!!*

 The number 1 reason in dating is to “INCLUDE GOD!”

                Why is this the most important? 

Well….I’ll tell you! Although there’s soo many reasons why you should include God when dating, for the sake of time I’ll just list two…

  1. God knows the heart of people.
  2. God sees the big picture.

As humans we sometimes overlook the people God wants to place in our life & think too highly of the people he’s trying to take out of our life…For instance, we’ll look at a persons outer appearance and think to ourselves: “Oh yeah, God this is the one!” 

Yet, when God tells us “No that’s not who I have for you.” We fuss! We fight! We even go against his will; arguing our case with “Limited vision.”As if we really know better than God! 

Meanwhile, God is looking at their heart and saying, “If you marry them, they’re going to hurt you, they’re going to belittle you, they’re going to make you depend on them, rather than me. He or she may be good looking but they’re not right for you! I don’t want you to marry them because instead of helping you walk into your purpose, they will doubt what I’ve placed in you! They won’t love you the way I want you to be loved. Trust me! I know whats best for you! You are mine! And I would rather not give you (what you think you want) & have you angry with me now; Than to give them to you and listen to you cry later.” 

I think it’s time for a good story…

 A little over 2 years ago, there was this man of God I was talking to. He was involved in ministry heavily. He was handsome and very funny! We talked several times on the phone & overall he seemed to be a really great guy! One day as our conversation ended,
The Holy Spirit said… “NO.”

Around that time, I was wondering should I start a relationship with him. So, I knew this was God giving me my answer. Although, I didn’t quite understand why God would say NO to him; (seeing how much he talked about God & preached him) still, trusting God, I let him go…

I never called him or answered any of his texts from that moment on. However, a couple of months later, I came to understand why. 
It was a “Summers Night“, and I’d just walked out of my prayer closet from spending time with The LORD! I was so filled up with joy to the point where, I wanted to do something nice for My Heavenly Father!  
As a result, I said to myself, I’m going to go to the store to make a nice Fathers Card for Jesus & I’ll show it to him in our next prayer time together! 

I get in the car and though it’s pretty late (some time after 12 midnight). I still felt the urge to go. So here I am, at the store, smiling as I check off my to do list; 

when all of a sudden I hear a familiar voice coming from the register beside me…

I turn my head to the left to see who it was and….

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

(Ya’ll know I had to get dramatic right there) 😂 

Any-way..

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

The man who “GOD said No to” and some woman dressed like a hooker in this same store with me, at almost 1 in the morning!
He looked at me with embarrassment. 
I didn’t say anything. (That would’ve been out of place) Besides, the look on his face said more than enough for the situation. I simply checked out, waved at him & kept going…🚶🏽‍♀️

Now, I have no clue as to why they were out so lateor for that matter why she was half naked! Matter of fact, that’s none of my business that’s God’s.

Nonetheless, I had to share that story with you to make this point…

Sometimes when God tells us “NO.” about someone; we feel like he’s trying to keep this “good” gift from us! But that’s simply not true! God’s no’s are for our protection! Remember Adam and Eve?!? In their situation, the enemy convinced “Eve”that God was withholding something good from her but he wasn’t! He was protecting her!

Guys, if God is telling you to let someone go; do it! Learn from my story above! Trust me! God knows what’s best for you! After all, he did make you! So, I’m pretty sure God knows what you want & don’t wantHe’s not going to make you marry someone who you’re not attracted to or someone you don’t like! He just wants to see if we trust him enough to let go of what we can see to obtain what we can’t see

⭐️Note for the GENTS: You cant get Esther until you let go of Vashti… 

⭐️Note for the Ladies: You can’t get Boaz until Mahlon dies… (figuratively speaking* let any relationship that God has not approved of die!) 


                   👠Ladies and GENTS👔

  6. Believe Their Actions, Not Their Words..

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
                                                         -Maya Angelou

The thing I never quite understood; is why people hang onto relationships that are clearly a waste of time. When my old friends would come to me for advice concerning their issues, I would give them the complete truth. Yet, even after all that “truth” they would still go back to that time wasting relationship & then keep calling me month after month with the same problem
Now I’m no relationship guru! But I do believe in “SIGNS” and “COMMON SENSE.
If someone is giving you the mouth, 🗣

  • You’re important to me.
  • I value you.
  • Nobody else makes me feel like you do. 
  • I want to be with you. 

Yet, their actions are completely different. 

                       ✂️CUT IT OFF✂️

Example: Tyler keeps telling Briana that he hates when she ignores him. Every time they get on the phone to talk, she talks to everyone around her, leaves him on hold (while she does a million other things) & after he’s waited on hold for her; she then hangs up & texts him,”Call Ya Later.” But her call back later usually means 2-3 days later… 

If Tyler was my friend?? Why would I advise him to hold onto that? If he’s communicated this problem to her more than a few times & yet she continues to do this..
She’s making things very clear to him! She is either; Atoo busy for a relationship or Bnot interested in having a relationship with him. 

⭐️Note: Never put more into a relationship than the other person is putting.

⭐️Note: “Unlimited chances” are for (married people) not for someone you just met two weeks ago. 

Another Example

This one is for my Ladies because I see so many women in this situation constantly!!

I know at times you think you can (work) your way into a mans heart by doing “good deeds” but you cant! 
All those texts, calls, checking up on him, cooking meals, washing clothes & trying to get him to see you, is pretty much for nothing. 
In reality this man is not even looking at you as a potential wife. He’s looking at you as a potential second mom…

Sweetheart, no matter how many “nice” things you do for a man; You cannot force your way into his life. If he’s not interested, he’s just not interested! You have to be okay with that! Everyone is not going to like you! And you’re not going to like everybody! 

So, stop overworking yourself to get into a position that doesn’t belong to youThe last thing you need, is a broken heart because you’ve put in years of work; trying to open the eyes of the wrong Adam

⭐️ Note: If someone is showing you they’re not into you. Believe what they’re showing you. Don’t take them ignoring you as some kind of cute “playing hard to get game.” (They actually may not like you.)

Well… there you have it Ladies and GENTS! 

Now…I know Part two to “Getting Back Into the Dating Game.” May not have been your favorite blog of mine, you probably even got cut a little bit…😬 lol…

However, I’ve got to tell y’all the truth! I’m not going to sugar coat these “bad courtships” & tell you, “just go with the flow!” Or “give it some more time.” (After many months have passed) Uhmm…No honey! I want what’s best for you! 

I am tired of men & women not getting the agape & mature love they deserve! I believe in love; & although I’ve never been in love, I think there’s someone out there for everyone! 

I have hopes of walking down the aisle one day  & marrying who God has for me.! You too should have those same hopes! Don’t give up! God already knows how your life is going to play out! 

All you have to do is stay in his will!

Once again, it has been fun talking to you guys!! You know I love y’all so much!

I pray this blog helped you!

Till next time! 

– 💕Takyah Love 💕 

Getting Back Into The Dating Game! (Part 1)

One of the most exciting things about dating is getting to know someone new! 
We have so many questions…

  • What should I do? 
  • How do I talk to them?
  • When should this relationship go to the next level? 
  • Whats their favorite color?
  • How do I know if they’re sincere? 
  • How do I ask them out?  
  • What foods do they like?

And the biggest question of all…

 Is this the One?

Although, I cannot answer all of those questions for you. I do believe that the advice I am about to share with you can help aid you in the dating process and make things just a little bit easier!  
                       Let’s get started
           

                    👠Ladies and GENTS👔

          1. Write your list…and use it! 

    Every single. Male and Female should have a list! Now what’s on that list depends on you. What are some of your deal breakers? What will you tolerate in a relationshipWhat traits would you like to see in the other person? Whatever you want in a future spouse write it down and make it plainI’m telling you if I could give advice to anyone who is dating or thinking about dating this would be numero uno!
                                      Why
    The reason being is, your list helps you to see who’s more suitable for you and who’s not. Let me show you an example: 


        Do not play around with this singles!  
    Make this list as personal and real as it can possibly be! If you’re tallying up the points and you see your new friend has 5 yes’ and 23 no’s I think it would be wise to stop dating them and move on…
                        And another thing!
    Please, do not go sharing everything on your list with the person you’re dating! Although you must ask questions to get to know a person. Use wisdom! I mean, can you imagine? 

    You tell this guy/girl you love fried chicken and waffles and they say,

    “Wow! We have so much in common. That’s my favorite meal too!” 

    Then a month later you find out that they’re allergic to both…

    Now I know that’s a silly example but I’m serious! The one thing you don’t want is someone who’s pretending to be all of those things just to get you (for whatever reason).
             You deserve the real thing. Okay

    So, try to keep most of your list between you and God. 
                     

                                 👔GENTS👔

     2. Plan your Dates from beginning to end.

    Spontaneous dates can be some of the best dates! 

                     Yes! I would have to agree.  

    I don’t know what it is, but it is something exciting to have a man call you and tell you to  “Get ready.” & neither of you have a clue as to where the two of you are going.

    However…….

         (You know I always have a however) 😬

    However, when every date is spontaneous and nothing is planned; it leaves G_A_P_S and room for a lot of unplanned things to happen. And  b_e_l_i_e_v_e  me…the enemy knows how to lead you into temptation; and he doesn’t mind helping you fill ALL those empty gaps you haven’t filled yourself.

    So fellas‘ since I believe that women should be pursued and not pursuing. How’s about taking the lead for a change and plan the dates. Stop all the,”I don’t know….what do you wanna do?🤓 Stuff. Not only is that unwise but it’s kind of annoying. So the next time you ask her out, have the day/evening planned. 

    Even if it’s just the spot where the two of you first met, or this restaurant she’s been talking about for weeks!
    It really doesn’t matter. Just the fact that you took the time out to do anything for her will speak volumes… 

    ⭐️Note for the Gents: If something happens that throws your date off or makes things go slightly different. That’s okay. At least planning ahead gives you some kind of idea of how you want the evening to go.

    ⭐️Note for the Ladies: Pay attention! If every time this man asks you out, its always at the last minute. Sweetheart, that is not him being spontaneous! That’s him giving you the scraps from his leftover day. Do not allow a man to call you up at 9 at night & ask you “Can He roll through?” Men usually put on their best behavior for a woman they really like, so if he’s doing this to you at the very beginning….

    Chile’….He could care less about you… 

    Back to the drawing board we go!!! 🚀

               

                              👠 Ladies 👠

        3.  Guard your Heart & Take things Slow.

    The reason why I am giving this to my ladies and not my men. Is this; 

    Men are wired completely different from us.

    While you’re planning a wedding and picking out baby names, he’s probably thinking 💭 “Yeah she was pretty cool, I guess I’ll go out with her again.” 

    Ladies… please remember to take things slow. Dont try to lead him. Let him, lead you. 
    One of the most embarrassing things is to go around boasting in something that isn’t even established yet!…
    You’ve went out on a few good dates, and all of sudden, you’re smiling ‘wider than Cheshire the cat’ & walking around here praise dancing💃🏽proclaiming: 

    God den’ sent me my Boaz!” 

    Only to see him walking down the aisle 6 months later marrying some other Ruth.  
    Now embarrassingly, you have to call all those same girl friends you’ve boasted to and have an ice-cream pity party. 🍨🙍🏽🙍🏻🙍🏿🍨


                   Wump! Wump! Wump……

    Let me help you sis and give you some of this word! 
    Two things the book of Proverbs tells us to do is number 1 : Guard our hearts. 

    • ⭐️Proverbs 4:23Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

    number 2: Take our time.

    • ⭐️Proverbs 29:20There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

    Don’t be so hasty and quick to tell your family & friends every single thing that goes on in your love life. 
    Not only can being discreet save you from a heap of embarrassment; it can also save you from countless of interrogating questions from your family members. Just in case…this guy doesn’t turn out to be what you thought.
    Besides…what’s the rush anyway?? 

    God’s got you girl

    Well, there you have it Ladies👠& GENTS👔!
    Part one to my blog; “Getting Back Into the Dating Game!”

    I pray you all got something from it!  
    Since this is my first time including the fellas; let me know how I did okay!? Don’t be afraid to leave a comment or inbox me with your comments

    Till next time!!! Bye my Loves! 😘 

    💕Takyah Love💕




      Beauty from Within… 

      There’s something about being called Beautiful that a woman loves to hear. No matter how young or old you are, being given such a compliment can put a smile on your face.

      But what is beauty exactly??

      Do we equate it with the superficial

      • Is it jewelry? 💍
      • Is it makeup?💄
      • Is it hair? 👩🏽

      Sadly, we’ve been conditioned that beauty is (one who has it all together on the outside). However, God’s word paints quite a different portrait! In this blog,“Beauty from Within” we will discuss two separate but syncretic categories and walk through how to invest in a lasting genuine beauty that continues to blossom with time, vs. the superficial alternatives that fade just as we do…

      Okay, here we go!

      💄 Beauty for our personal wellbeing💄

      How’s about starting with a testimony? 

      Back in the day…and yes I said back in the day! (lol) I’m actually referring to a time when I knew very little about inner beauty. Let’s just say your girl Takyah…was kind of a mess.
      Due to the fact that I dealt with low self-esteem, I found myself always trying to do things to make my outer appearance “beautiful”. Meanwhile neglecting the one thing that needed a total do-over! (my spirit).

      I accented my lips, showed off my hips and painted my finger tips. Yet, to my amazement, after all that prepping and watching endless hours of makeup tutorials; I would somehow still feel unworthy of the title “beautiful”. And you know what? I was right! Honey, there was not a makeup pallet in the world that could cover over all those soul blemishes!

      It wasn’t until I began to spend time with the Lord, read his word and ask him to transform me completely that I truly became beautiful!
      Don’t believe me????

      Okay here’s proof!Here’s a picture of me back in May of 2013, when I was focusing on my outside appearance!

      Ughh😑… didn’t I look terrible though?

      I had on foundation, thick lipstick, my chest practically hanging out in that bra-like cut off shirt, black eyeliner, eyelashes, a nose ring & I still wasn’t beautiful or happy…
      Not to mention I had a dark countenance.

      Now fast forward 3 years and I’m going to show you a picture that was just taken of me a few days ago!  

      In this picture I barely have on any foundation, no liner, no eyelashes and I’m only wearing lipgloss.                  

      I know!!! Crazy right???

      I’m telling you sis! Nothing is prettier than a woman who gives herself wholeheartedly to God! There is just a certain beauty and glow that comes from spending time with him, that no makeup brush could ever give!

      ⭐️ 1 Peter 3:3-4Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

      Moving On…

      Now that we’ve discussed “Beauty for our spiritual well being” let’s dig deeper and take a closer look at “Beauty when it comes to dating…         

      Beauty VS. Vanity in Dating💄

      •  Vanity: excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; lack of real value; pointless.
      • Beauty: quality; grace; something excellent of its kind; a person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.

      When dating a real man… 
      Okay..I want all my “I want a husband right now” sista’s especially to pay attention!! 
      When dating any real man first things first. No man wants a woman who’s obsessively vain. I don’t care how much you think your looks and your charm will keep you at the forefront of that mans mind. If that’s all you’re bringing to the table eventually, especially (if the man is wise) he will begin to look elsewhere for a mate.

      ⭐️Note: The reason why I said (if he is wise he will look elsewhere) this is because there are actually men out there who are just as shallow as those women can sometimes be. They will marry a beautiful fool, just so she can be a trophy for all his boys to see.

      Ladies trust me…you don’t want a man that only wants you for your looks because when another woman comes along, who’s slightly prettier, you will find yourself angry with the decision you made to be with him.

      I want to share a chart with you..

      On one side you have Brenda and on the other you have Lisa. Let’s take a look at the differences in both women.

      • 💁🏻Brenda is drop dead gorgeous, she is a homeowner, car lease in good standing, her business is off the ground and booming, she’s got a brick house body and a credit score of 757!

      •However, her character..not so much•

      • she has a smart mouth, she’s tit for tat with a man,(meaning if he missed one call of hers she’s going to ignore three of his calls on purpose) she’s insecure,(going through her man’s phone, checking his work jacket & texts him a million times whenever he’s out of her sight) she’s prideful, she won’t submit, she’s boastful about who she’s become, she’s self centered and not to mention bratty if things don’t go her way.

      ——————————————————————-

      • 👩🏽 Lisa is cute, she still lives with her dad, works at a clothing store, has no car, she has her dreams written out on paper and is working toward them (but for now we’ll say they’re just dreams) she has a nice body (just not as nice as Brenda’s), her credit score is 525.

      Her character on the other hand is the opposite of Brenda’s! She is extremely pleasant

      • she’s peaceful, relatablefun to be around, loving, serves others well, respects as well as listens to her man, she’s reserved (doesn’t open her mouth telling her friends every time there’s trouble in paradise), she’s trustworthy and trusts him, she encourages him, makes a hot plate and does it all with a smile on her face.

      Now I hate to say this, but quite commonly these”Barking Brenda’s” become very angry when they see their dream prince put the glass slipper on a common “Lisa”.

      Women like Brenda are focused on so many  things such as (their social media status, buying a house and becoming an independent woman) That by the time they realize they want a husband, “they’re now 40 years old with a wall full of degrees, a pet cat 🐱 named “Foo-Fee“and a baddd attitude.. Meanwhilethe good men they passed up while chasing their dreams, have been happily married to a Lisa for over ten years.

      Now please don’t misunderstand me ladies! There is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing higher education! As a matter of fact, I commend all the women that have obtained alumni status!!! It takes a lot to hang in there!  👏🏽🎓
      However, just be careful that you don’t allow vanity and pride to seep into your accomplishments, making you lose sight of what a wife really is! Although a degree may help you in the business world, it will not help you to become a good wife.

      Honestly, if you truly want to be married, you should sit under some old wives who’ve been *Happily*married for 15-50 years. Pleaseee don’t get around some bitter old nagging woman whose husband sleeps in a different bedroom than hers! Honey please… the only advice that woman can give you is what not to do in a marriage. Chile‘… I wish my husband would say to me:

      I’m sleeping in the other room tonight cause I’m mad right now!”

      Me: Grabs a pillow and follows him.

      “Okayyy…well….I’m coming in there with you until you forgive me!”

      Ima sit on your lap and everything! 

      And don’t let me make the “Do you forgive me now” face… 
      I don’t care what I have to do!Anger will not take root in me and my future hubbys house! The Bible says, we are to pursue peace with all men and that is what I intend to do…

                                       Any who

      I want to end with this, there is nothing wrong with makeup, bodily exercise or wearing nice things. As a matter of fact, I pray that you invest in your outer appearance! Please, don’t walk around here SHOT to the United States saying,”Sista Takyah told us not to wear makeup,” The devil is a liar! You better put that makeup on! You know Mac and Maybelline have been good to you! Lol…
      All I’m saying is, while taking an hour out of each day, just to”beat your face” make sure you’re putting that same amount of energy and time into your spiritual well being!

      Once again it has been my absolute pleasure writing to you all!!!

      P.S. Below is a song that I thought would be perfect for this topic! It’s amazing!
       
      Click the link below to hear the song!
      🎧Make me Over by TONEX🎧

      I Look forward to hearing the responses from you Ladies!!

      Love you girl!!

       

      Takyah Love

      Are You Giving Your Bags to Your Man? or to Jesus??

          ⭐️⭐️(Caution:This is a deep read)⭐️⭐️

      No one really wants to admit it, but everyone has bags. Bags from relationships, bags from past friendships, bags from childhood, JUST BAGS💼

      Sometimes we as busy women are always working, moving and trying to be superwoman; It seems we never really have time to sit down & unpack those bags.

      But what if I told you that holding onto your bags is exactly what’s keeping you right where you are…

      • Unhappy.☹️
      • Bitter. 😒
      • Lonely. 😔
      • Afraid. 😨
      • Unfulfilled.😐
      • Angry.😤

      The list goes on and on, but praise Jesus that you don’t have to stay there sis! Trust me! If there is anyone who is skilled in unpacking bags, it is this lady “rightcha” here! So, stay tuned! While I share with you some of my personal experiences and how I learned to let Jesus do all that baggage dumping for me.

      Okay! Here we go!

      💼 Baggage from Relationships 💼

      One of the heavy bags that I use to carry into every relationship was the bag of “Low self-esteem.”  Looking at me now, people would say “girlll you are lying!” But I promise I would, and not to mention it was the worse kind!

      I would apologize when I hadn’t done anything wrong. I would allow men to walk ALL over me because I didn’t want them to leave. I would make up excuses for a man if he cheated on me; saying things like,”Maybe, I’m not “skinny enough” or “Maybe, if I wasn’t practicing abstinence he wouldn’t have slept with her.” When that was Not even the case!

      Here is an example scenario: There I was trying to find my self worth in men; Depending on their compliments, their thoughts, and who they said I was; to determine who I really was. I didn’t stop to think, “What does God say about me?”  I remember reading the following scriptures for the first time, and when I did, I cried like a baby….It was like I could hear God saying.

      • ⭐️ “Takyah, why do you treat yourself this way when I died for you.”(John 3:16) 
      • “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”(Jeremiah 31:3)
      •  “Do you not know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?”(Psalms 139:14) 
      • “I’ve even counted every strand of hair on your head, so how could you think you are worthless?”(Luke 12:7)
      • “Come to me! Get in my presence! Allow me to lift up your head and give you the fulfillment and joy you’ve been searching for!(Psalms 3:3) (Psalms 16:11) ⭐️

      At first it was hard to believe, but when I’d finally grasped what Jesus thought about me.  I was set free! I began loving myself, spending time with myself, and finding joy in who God said I was! I no longer needed a man to be happy; I’d found happiness and fullness of Joy in the presence of God. Now instead of sucking energy out of a man that comes into my life; I can add to him, because my Joy comes from the Lord.

      ⭐️Note: If you are miserable before God sends you “the one” you will still be miserable after he comes. Even though you may be happy for the moment; if you’re trying to get fulfillment from anyone or anything other than Jesus, (spoiler alert) your thrill will be short-lived. 

      💼 Baggage from Friendships 💼

      I was always very open in high school, funny, easy to talk to, and I always related to everybody whether they were geeks, jocks or musicians. However, when I switched schools in the 10th grade all of that changed. I didn’t fit in anywhere

      None of the girls liked me because of the way I looked and the guys didn’t care much for me either because I was a “virgin.” So all that year, I clung to my teachers and hung out with them. Which only made matters worse. Moreover, to add to all my other unwarranted titles, I had also become a teachers pet.

      That year I felt so rejected and un-loved that I began shutting myself off from the world. I used food for comfort; and went from a size 5 to a size 13 in one semester! I also battled with thoughts of suicide.

      Although, I went back to my old school for my 11th grade year, the damage was done. The  genuine friends: Jay-jay, Cookie & Tony I once cherished, looked different to me. They loved me, the best they could, but because I’d felt the sting of rejection. My trust for people declined greatly!

      It wasn’t until two years ago that I began to pray to God and ask him to teach me how to💝 love again. I wanted God to show me that, not only could I trust him, but also the people that he would bring into my lifeI promised the Lord that if he gave me friend that really loved him and could care for me, I would cherish them & be the kind of friend that Ruth was to Naomi. Except this time, those stinky little bags: “Dis-trust” and “Rejection” would not get in the way!!

      💼 Baggage from CHILDHOOD 💼

      Whew… Jesus! Childhood??!?  Lorrrddd… let’s just end the blog right here, okay?.. Whew! 😅 

      Lord give me strength lol

       Okay……

      One bag from my childhood, that I had the most difficult time unpacking was a bag called: Fear 👀

      When I was around the age of 4, my father left my mother and our family.. I was raised in a single parent home, with my two older siblings. My mother was working doubles, trying to provide food, clothes and everything else we needed, but it became too much for her without dads help. We then moved in with a close family member.

      And that’s where this bag started to load up… The two years we lived with our relative, I was being molested. I was so afraid to tell my mom that I waited until I was pre-teen to tell her what happened. (I tried to give you a lighter bag…but that is the bag I felt God wanted me to share with you.)

      After those things occurred, I developed a strong spirit of fear! I never went to sleep with the lights off. I would always look around me feeling like something bad was going to happen to me. I would have night terrors and see things that would cause me to stay up for days! I knew I had to do something! I could not go on like this! I prayed and the Lord led me to TBN one night. I was sitting in the living room when I heard this man named “Creflo Dollar” speak on the spirit of Fear!  I could not believe God loved me so much that he led me right to a program in the middle of the night, just so I could be free! See that’s why I love him like I do! After reading his book on “Overcoming fear” not only was I set free from the spirit of fear; my mom was set free! My brother was set free! My whole household! Even our dog “Napoleon” 🐶 was set free! Y’all… I am telling youAfter that bag was unpacked! I wasn’t scared of the devil anymore. He became scared of me!  

      So to my beautiful ladies, whom I love so dearly, I want to leave you with this…

      Bags can and will weigh you down if you allow them to! Thinking that a man will come along & take it all away is unfair to everyone in the situation. It’s unfair to you and it’s unfair to him! The best thing you could ever do, is hand them over to Jesus. He is the only man that truly wants to handle them!

      Sincerely yours,

      ❤️️Takyah Love❤️

      Life's Nuggets For The Single Christian.