Dear, Future Husband…(part 2)

Hey!

It’s me again…

I don’t really know what to say to you, seeing as how I don’t know you, or who you are yet 👀..

So, I’ll just say this.

Today,

Well, everyday

I think about you, and since you came across my mind at a time when I’m completely free, I wanted to use that time to write to you…

First, I want to say, that I cannot wait to meet you! Just to finally go out on dates with you, play video games with you, cook for you and love you is just going to be so amazing! I have waited so long for you.

I am so excited to know who you are!

I wonder what you’ll look like? What color is your skin? How many freckles do you have, or pimples? Do you have dimples? Is your hair long, short, wavy or are you rocking a fro? lol.

Do you have a beard? I love beards! Just not too much hair… I love goatees too! I think that’s how you spell it! Whether you’re Black, White, Asian, Hispanic or anything else, I won’t care. Just as long as you love God and love me.

I wonder when we’ll meet?

Or have we already met and God is just hiding you from me…

I wonder when will I know you’re the one?

I think about that moment all the time..

I’m smiling now, just thinking about it. I swear, as soon as I know you’re the one, there are a few things I’m going to do…

The first thing I’m going to do, is hug you for forever and not let you go! And I’m not talking about no church hug… 👀

(Lol just kidding saints)

The second thing I’m going to do, is kiss your little or big nose👃🏾and let you know that you mean the world to me!

And the last thing?

I’m going to grab the nearest lamp and go upside your head with it for taking so long to get here!

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I mean geesh babe…….. 😖☹️😞

I have been going through in so many ways 😓 but because this is a public letter to you I’ll keep everything PG13! 😅

However, I’m still mad at you….

Like what are you doing?

What’s keeping you from me?

Do I need to start praying those African prayers I learned from my brother Albert again?

I mean come on baby….

Now, I consider myself a very patient woman, but it’s been 5 years love..

5 years that I have been waiting for you, not just for the intimate part after marriage, but for other things! Like going out on fun dates with you, eating off your plate (even though I told you I wasn’t hungry) and honestly I just want to stare at you.

I bet you’re so beautiful…

I want to learn about you, I want to study you, I want to know what makes you angry? what makes you sad? What makes you happy? What makes you smile? I want to support you in every way.

If you play football, I want to be there with my jersey on, shouting to the top of my lungs.

If you preach, I want to be the one that has that stank face on during your whole sermon and the one who constantly yells “You better preach that Pastor!”

Even if you’re a mailman, I want to brag about how good you look in those short shorts.

Babe, I am so ready to be there for you.

And I want to know everything about you.

Even the things you haven’t told anyone else.

So, when I say I’ve been waiting for 5 years, that’s what I mean babe.

I’ve been waiting for you…

Not for some of you, but for all of you.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

But you know what? 5 is a good number!

It’s the number of grace right??

With that being said, I guess I’ll pray that the Lord graces me with you this year…

“Please, Father God answer my prayers!”

Because honestly, the way I’ve been feeling lately…

I can’t see me waiting any longer for you…

Okay..

I take that back,

(I’m just speaking out of frustrations)

You know I’ll continue to wait for you..

but I won’t like it though… 😒

You know what?

I think I should make a few vows to you right now. I know this sounds really crazy, but (I am a random romantic).

I hope you’ll like that part of me.

Any who, because I am feeling the way I am feeling. I want to be honest with you and commit myself to waiting for you again…

My Vows To Wait For My Very Own Bighead

(Oops I mean hubby) 😂

  • I vow to pray 🙏🏽 for you everyday (especially on days like today, when I don’t feel like it).
  • I vow to never chase another man, or try to force someone to be in the spot God ordained for you (just because I’m tired of waiting).
  • I vow to be patient and spend 100% of my time with God and with my music while I’m waiting.
  • I vow to not go out on dates that God tells me not to go out on, (just because I’m mad you’re not here yet).
  • I vow to be faithful to you, even in my waiting and to pray for your family, your health, your finances, and that you will prosper in everything you do.
  • I vow to not run away from you, if I start to like you too much.
  • I vow to keep my lips, my hips and my fingertips to myself until our wedding night.

And lastly,

  • I vow to become the best version of myself right now, so that when we meet I can give you the best of me.

Since I don’t really know you, I can’t vow anything else.

But for now those should be good right??

Any who…

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today.

Here’s another song I listen to whenever I think about you…

Sign,

Your Patient yet sort of frustrated 🤦🏽‍♀️ Wifey,

💋Takyah Love💋

4 Things A Woman Should Always Do While Dating!

Hey Ladies! So over the past few weeks I have been doing some thinking 💭

and you know what that means!

B-L-O-G   T-I-M-E-!

(in my high pitched voice)

During this time I have gathered some pretty cool information to share with you ladies about dating. Since I myself, am in a transitioning season regarding singleness. I thought, what better time to share with you what I’ve learned so far about dating, than now?

In today’s blog, “4 Things A Woman Should Always Do While Dating.” I’m going to give you a few tips that will help your dating game.

I hope you’re ready, because this is going to be good!

1. Always Mirror Him

Woman Holding Blank Frame

Whenever you’re talking to a man, especially one you like and deem worthy of your time. You must always remember to follow his leading. If a man is messaging you, responding to you very quickly, and seems to be interested in you, then you simply mirror his actions and boomerang that same energy right back to him.

But, if a man is being short with you, ending the conversation before it even starts and seems to not care? Don’t go after him and try to get him to see your worth! Sis, that is a big no, no! You simply mirror him and follow suit, by treating him exactly how he treats you.

If your conversations are starting to look like this: img_8697

Then it’s time for you to pull it ALLLLLL the way back!

⭐️NOTE: You never want to put more into the relationship than the man is.

Not only will you look needy/desperate, but you’ll never get the chance to see what he’d rather do. If you’re always pursuing him, how will you ever know his true feelings?

Besides sis, your time is valuable and you don’t want to waste it on a man who could care less if you’re there or not.

2. Always Keep Boundaries

The reason why I keep coming back to this rule is because it’s the one rule most women won’t uphold. If the right man comes along and talks the right words, they’ll ball this rule up, and toss it right in the trash🗑!

Although, most women do it because they think it will make a man like them even more, it actually doesn’t. What really happens, is you begin to lose value, and the man will label you just like he did every other woman before you.

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Let me tell you a story:

There was this friend of mine who had been celibate for 9 years before she got married! Yes, N-I-N-E  L-O-N-G  Y-E-A-R-S! 😳 (Although I’ve done 5, I will not be doing 9! The devil is a lie! That will not be my testimony!) 😂

Any way, (back to the story)

In the 7th year, The Lord sent her, her husband. Now this man was amazing! But even this amazing man had days when he wanted to test drive her car.

car man

But, sister girl wasn’t going for it!

Strangely on their wedding night you will never believe what he said to my friend. He told her, “Baby, I love you, and I know you’re a good woman, but if you would’ve slept with me before we got married, I would’ve never married you.

After hearing this she was amazed, and so was I! I said to myself, What kind of stuff is this?🤦🏽‍♀️

Yes ladies, we all know that men can be some very special creatures; but the point is, men don’t think like us, and they never will.

A man can do something with us and say, “This is the first time I’ve ever done this or felt this way about a woman.” (etc) And we’ll believe them! In fact, that will probably make us fall in love even more.

But if a woman tries that same thing on a man, (and she might actually be telling the truth) it won’t matter. They’re going to think you did the same thing with Sam, Ham, and Gerald before them. So, you pretty much lose altogether when you compromise.

That’s why I’m telling you ladies that the best thing to do is not compromise! That way, when he does get to unwrap your gift 🎁 (on your wedding night) he’ll feel very special & know that you truly did wait

Just for Him…

man present

3. Always Stay Positive

A real man is not going to hang around a woman who is constantly being negative. If you’re talking down to a man, telling him what he can’t do, or anything like that. Trust me sis, it won’t be long before he starts ignoring you.

⭐️NOTE: Men already have enough to worry about and don’t need you adding drama to the mix.

Honestly ladies, I know we as women always talk about how hard it is being a woman, (and it is hard) but it is extremely hard to be a man in today’s society. With that being said, if you are not a safe haven for your man when the pressure & responsibilities of this world gets too much for him? Then where will he go?

After Jesus, you should be the main one he is running to! Not a mother, not a sister, not another girl best friend, but you. He should feel safe with you, and know you’re the one person that’ll have his back, if everyone else turns on him.

However, if you’re yelling, acting crazy, going back and forward with a man, competing with him or making him feel anything less than what he is, he will not feel safe with you.

⭐️NOTE: Think of yourself as your mans peace place. If he had a peace place what would that look like?

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Also ladies, here’s another tip! If you’re always on the edge about something your man is doing,

Such as:

  • Why didn’t you text me back last night?
  • Why don’t you call me?
  • When am I going to meet your parents?
  • Why are you hanging out with your friends and not me?
  • Why did you do this?
  • Why did you do that?
  • That’s a stupid decision. (etc.)

A real man will run far, far away and not look back!

 So once again sis,

If you find yourself doing A-N-Y of these things, chill and pull it back….

#ALLTHEWAYBACK

4. Always Take Your Time

Although, this is one rule I have mastered. Most women have a problem here. When you start talking to a man you like, it’s natural for most women to want to rush the relationship.

But let’s face it ladies, a man is not going to put all his eggs (meaning his heart) into one basket, until he knows he can trust you not to break those eggs. With that being said, DO NOT RUSH HIM!

Talking about marriage, children, or being his only woman too fast 💨 doesn’t help a man to see you’re worth. What it does do, however, is make you look like you’re in a rush to put him in a position to fill some type of void you may have.

⭐️NOTE: A man is not coming to fill empty voids in your heart. He is coming to bring out the best in you, cultivate you and love you.

Only Jesus Christ, can fill all those empty voids! Trying to hurry and place a man on the throne of your heart, who you barely know, is reckless. Take your time and really get to know this man.

Then, when he says he’s ready to take the relationship to the next level, (if you’re interested) go for it! I just don’t want you to have this mindset of how things are supposed to happen. Thinking like that will make you miss out on the blessing God is trying to give you.

✨The last thing you want is to be the perfect woman with the perfect man, at the wrong timing.✨

That’s why you must talk to God and understand what season He has you in, and be okay with it! Whatever God want’s for you will be for you. Regardless of what tries to come up.

So, what’s the rush?

Okay, ladies that’s all I have for you today!

I pray this helped you!

Also, If you haven’t read my other blogs about dating, then you should! I believe they will help you tremendously if you’re in the dating world!

Getting Back Into The Dating Game! (part one)

Getting Back Into The Dating Game! (part two)

5 Tips on Courting a Godly Woman…

3 Turn Offs For A Strong Woman!

Well until next time!

Love you ladies!!!

Logging off!

💋Takyah Love💋

5 Things The Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal With!

No matter how much men or other women try to make you feel like you’re losing.

If you’re living a lifestyle of purity,

You are winning sis! 

Whether you’re a virgin or a woman who’s dedicated her body back to God, you’re on the right team!

Society makes being celibate seem so ancient; so outdated, but truth never changes. Just because every woman around you seems to be dishing out their goodies and having men by the dozen doesn’t mean they’re winning.

In today’s blog, “5 Things the Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal with.” I will be discussing some of the benefits of why waiting for marriage is both beneficial and necessary.

Let’s dive in!

1. No Confusion

Because I’m waiting until marriage. Confusion rarely hits my life. Now there have been some times when I’ve gotten “a little off” because I thought it would work out with someone and it ended up not working out, but other than that, nothing drastic has happened in my emotional psyche.

When you have sex before marriage, confusion will be your plight. If a man is “putting it down” on you, but is treating you like dirt. The way he makes your body feel will clash with his actual behavior. Sex was designed by God to be a final tie between two souls, it’s the sealing of a covenant promise. Because sex is so powerful, God never intended for it to be used as a trial run. When you have sex with someone, you’re merging together your souls, your wills and your emotions.

Now wonder women who have sex before marriage are always confused and go back and forward with a man, (even after he’s shown his true colors); that’s because, the two of them have intertwined and become one in both the spirit & the natural.

However, if you keep your goodies to yourself, you wont have to worry about any of that!

⭐️NOTE: Think about what you’re joining yourself up with. Ask yourself is this man really worth it?

2. Celibate Women Won’t Get Tricked

Some men come into your life for one thing,

& one thing only.

And that my ladies

is to get a piece of your cookie.

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Now, all men are not like this, however for the ones who are, guess what?

If that’s all he wants, it wont matter anyway because you’re not having sex! Lol. It’s a win, win sis! Usually, men who don’t get what they want will leave anyway.

I’ve had men try me, from the least to the greatest of them. Some of who were rich, fine and even godly… but when they saw I wasn’t going for it, they left.

Instead of being left crying or in a state of “acrimony” because a man used me, I was left shouting and praising God that I kept myself and didn’t fall for the “I’m gonna marry you anyway.” lie. Annoyed woman, stop it

3. No Sex Runs Away the Fakes 

I remember a few years back talking to this man. He had his own business and was a very handsome chocolate 🍫 drop!

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After a couple weeks of flirting, and talking. As we were planning our first date, the sex subject came up and I was very upset!

At the time I didn’t want to tell him I wasn’t having sex until marriage because I really liked this man. And just like I knew telling men this had ran many of them off in the past, I didn’t want to risk losing him too.

But…I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide this forever so, I decided to tell him anyway…

To my surprise the conversation actually turned out okay. In fact, this man said he had a new respect for me. He actually praised me for it!

He told me plainly,

“Look Takyah, I cant lie, I do want to have sex with you but I gotta respect your decision. That’s kind of cool how you’re waiting for your husband, but I cant do it. I wish you the best and I hope whoever marries you knows what he got.”

We talked a few times after that and then he stopped calling. But once again I was happy because I didn’t compromise. We simply stated what we wanted in a relationship and we didn’t match up, and that’s okay!

But guess who left that thing soul tie free???

😁😁This girl!!😁😁

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4. There Is No Mystery To You

My mom always told me that when a man really wants you, you will know.

She said,

A man will come across the world for the woman he loves.

I couldn’t agree more ma! 😉

There was this friend of mine who found herself in a relationship with a man who drove her crazy (in a good way). He catered to her, opened up doors for her, and literally praised the ground she walked on. He came by her house, fixed some broken things and even included her children in their dates a few times.

She was so ecstatic that she wanted to reward him for his kind deeds. I spoke with her and told her,

Sis, if you want to reward a man, there are a million things you can do other than sex, you can buy him this new game he’s been talking about getting for his playstation, you can cook his favorite meal and surprise him with a candle light dinner, or you can buy him a ticket to go see his favorite NBA teamIf you want to reward him, do one of those things! But whatever you do, Do Not Sleep with this man!”

She said she wouldn’t and I was happy to know she was going to take my advice.

One day I stopped by her house to bring her some lasagna I’d made and walking out of the front door was her new man; when I walked in and saw what she had on I was very angry.

There she was with booty shorts on, a tank top and a push up bra. Everything she had to offer was on display.

I told her, “I thought we were going to keep it classy?”

Her excuse was that it was hot outside. Although I knew what she was trying to do, (because I myself am a woman) I simply shook my head, placed the lasagna on the counter and left.

A few weeks later she called me pouting and throwing a tantrum. When I asked her why was she upset? I already knew the answer.. She told me they ended up having sex a few days after I’d come over and now this man stopped returning her calls, and if he did pick up the phone, his excuse for not talking to her was that he was busy.

What she failed to realize was this,

the man she was dating was a business man who was all about investments. After speaking with him a few times myself, I could clearly see that he was truly looking for a wife, he was in his late 30’s and he was tired of dating women and having relationships that never went anywhere.

That’s why when she presented herself as a wife, he treated her like a wife, he was genuinely happy to know he’d finally found a woman worth his time. But when she thought she had this man in the bag and started portraying herself as a sex object, he saw her as a bad investment. She questioned how could he switch just like that? It’s because the mystery of who she was disappeared after sex.

⭐️NOTE: Once you give up your cookie there is nothing left that you can offer or entice a man with.

Withhold your mystery ladies, that’s what keeps a man going and wondering what you’re like. Your diamond is the highest card you can play in this courting game and marriage is a mans highest card. Don’t you dare play your highest card until after he’s played his.

5. You’re Not Blindsided by Lust

Another thing I love about being celibate is that I get to see how much a man really wants me, or… how much he doesn’t.

Either way I benefit!

When you choose to wait, you get to experience love at it’s highest level. The relationship can blossom freely without lust or confusion getting in the way. Plus, you get to see the other person for who they really are.

Sex, as I’ve said it before can make you think that a person is great when in actuality they’re terrible. Because sex releases all these chemicals that makes a woman feel safe and bond with a man, it blurs your perception of how you see him, while on the contrary not having sex makes everything crystal clear 😁!

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I get to see a mans attitude, how he treats me, how he responds to me, if he’s selfish, if he’s mean. I get to see all of that with a clear view and unclouded judgement. Then, once I’ve gotten to know him a little better and seen him for who he really is, I get to decide if I want to be with this man or not.

But, if you give it all away to a man at the very beginning you’ll get to see none of that! Not only will your judgement be cloudy, but you don’t even know if he’s going to stick around to show you anything else about him.

NOTE: Sex is not the cake 🍰

It’s simply the icing on what the two of you have built through communication, prayer, love, support and respect. If the two of you have built something like that, then sex after marriage is only going to enhance that love! But if you’ve built your relationship on sex, compromise, lust and sin, then your foundation for marriage will be rocky.

That’s of course if the two of you even get married..

but that’s none of my business

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I’m simply here to share with you why being Celibate trumps Sex before marriage!

Hope you could take something from this!

As always, love you ladies and Gents who snuck in! (lol)

Until next time!

Love,

Takyah Love

How to Deal With A Breakup…

Hey sis!

I know I’ve been busy a lot lately and haven’t had the chance to write to you. But the Lord pulled me away from those things just to talk to you today!

Last week in my prayer time, The Lord began to deal with me about broken hearts 💔. I know I posted on social media saying I would write this blog last week, but last week was sooo busy for me, I simply was not able to do it.

However, I am here today, so let’s get started! In today’s blog, “How to Deal With A Breakup” I will give you a few tips on how to deal with a broken heart.

I pray this blesses you!

1. Know that it’s working for your good

Romans 8:28– And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Let’s face it sis.

In this life you will be disappointed at some point with someone. But it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you react to the situation that matters most.

I had a friend that was so excited to be with a man that she missed the “clear signs” he was showing her and she ended up with a broken heart because he was not the man she thought he was.

Now she could’ve went crazy,

lost her mind

keyed up this man’s car 🚗

 burned some of his stuff 

and anything else brokenhearted women do.

But after talking about it, I assured her that God had not forgotten about her and that He would be faithful to fulfill every promise He’d made to her.

After a lot of tissue’s and once her Lenny Williams C.D. started to skip, she finally decided to let her ex and any other idea she had of them being together go.

Although she was very hurt, I am happy to say it worked out for her good! The man she now has is amazing! This man opens up doors for her, pulls out her chair, prays with her, supports her dreams and when she was living by herself (before they got a house together) he even helped her out on her bills.

He was so amazing that I slick got jealous👀lol.. but anyway the point is, God blessed her with a man that loves her to her very core. And now they’re both happily married!

Just think,

What if she would’ve kept dwelling on her ex?

 What if she would’ve kept going back and forward with a man who was only playing games with her?

She would’ve never met the awesome man that God had for her.

NOTE: What didn’t work out or is being removed from your life is only making room for new blessings to come in.

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2. People Come and People Go

Knowing those five little words can save you so much hurt and disappointment!

Everyone who comes into your life is not coming for a lifetime. God will send some people in your life just for a season. The only time we get hurt is when we try to make temporary people permanent.

If God says, “Let it go.” Let it go sis! Stop thinking about it. Put your heart in the hands of your Heavenly Father and trust that He will send the right people at the right time.

When I think of all the lessons I’ve learned from people, whether those lessons were good or bad, I praise God! Although some of those lessons hurt at that moment. However, after the pain is gone I’m able to go back over the very situations that once caused me grief and learn from them.

NOTE: Examine your current situation and ask yourself “What can I learn from this?” “What is God trying to teach me or show me?”

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3. Trust In The Lord With All Your Heart

Proverbs 3:5-6– Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Once you have said what you needed to say and have done what you needed to do, keep your focus on God. Do not lose sight of who He is just because your heart is broken.

Remember sis, He is the mender of broken hearts. So give it to Him.

Psalm 147:3He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

If you allow Jesus to come into your situation He can make even the worse situations turn around for your good. I know you may not understand exactly what’s going on right now or why things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, but just like I told my friend years ago, God is faithful. And if He did it for her, He can most certainly do it for you and I.

It may hurt right now, but the pain you feel now will not be able to compare to the joy you’ll feel when you’re finally in the arms of your promise.

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Exhale sis…. and let go…

Love,

🌻Takyah Love🌻

Blast From The Past!

Hey ladies and gents!!

I am so excited about the big plans I have coming up that it’s crazy! I cannot wait to spill all the details!

But for now, everything is hush-hush☺️!

So someone from WordPress brought this to my attention and I wanted to fix it! She said, “Takyah I follow you on WordPress and I just recently started following you on Facebook, and your videos for the blogs are hilarious, but I’ve never seen them before. Why aren’t they on WordPress?

When I realized she was right,

this was my face! 😱 

So ladies and gents, I am here to change that!

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain, I advertise all of my upcoming blogs in a “skit” right before I post them! In the videos I explain the new blog post that’ll be coming soon to give all of my beautiful faithful readers something to look forward to! I started doing this in June of 2017 and it has been a hit! Many people love them, but it never dawned on me that I never post them on WordPress!

Me, being Takyah, and never wanting you guys to miss out on anything, has come up with a solution. From now on, I will post every video at the top of each blog post so you wont miss out on them anymore!

Problem solved!👌🏽

However, for those of you that have missed out on the previous videos, I wanted to share a few of those with you and the links to the blogs just in case you haven’t read them yet! These are not all the videos, these are just some! I uploaded the videos from YouTube because they’re easier to upload on this platform, but I barely use YouTube so don’t worry about following me on there!

Add me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram instead!

When you follow me, let me know that you came from WordPress so I can follow you back! 🙂

I’ll post those social media links at the bottom of the post!

“Back off! The Lord said, He’s My Husband!”

 

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 

 

3 Turn Offs For A Strong Woman!

 

My Funny Valentine… 

 

The Independent Fool

 

If you follow me on social media

Facebook   Twitter   Instagram

You will never miss a skit or future blog post!

Also, if you have not purchased “Purity over Passion” yet!

I am having a spring sale and you can get the book now on amazon for only $6.50!!

That is an incredible deal!img_5098-1Click on the book to purchase!

Alright guys!

I think that’s everything!

New blog post coming soon!

Love you!!

Love,

Takyah Love

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Marriage Nuggets for Women!

⭐️⭐️ THIS BLOG IS RATED: M⭐️⭐️

(For Mature Readers Only)

I bought the dress!

I picked out the wedding colors, and the wedding cake I want!

I know I’m ready to get married now!

So, you want to be married? Okay, I get that. But did you know that marriage is more than “one happy wedding 🎩 day?” While many women spend a lot of time preparing for the wedding, seldom do they prepare for the actual marriage!

In today’s blog, “Wisdom Nuggets for Marriage.” I will discuss practical things that you (a future wife) can use in your future marriage. These little nuggets have been tested, tried and true! The information I am about to share with you have come from women who’ve been Happily married for over 10-50 years!

Let’s get started!

1. Never Go To Bed Angry

This is a tip I already practice regularly, so I have no problem in this area.

When you’re married and your husband does something you don’t like, or something that might’ve embarrassed you, You can’t just “cut him off” as the young folks say. He is not some random guy that you’re talking to, He is your HUSBAND! So cutting him off is not an option!

Neither is withholding your cookies🍪 (but we will discuss this later.)

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Anyway, if something happens in your marriage that you don’t like. You have to talk through that thing! You must sit down, write out your feelings on paper and talk it out with your spouse. When you ignore conflict and think things will magically fix themselves in your life, you leave a BIG G__A__P for the enemy to come in and wreak havoc in your marriage.

When you don’t talk things out, assumptions and confusion will come in and fill every gap you didn’t fill.

Ephesians 4:26-don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

Hebrews 12:14- Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Ladies, if you truly want to have a happy marriage, one of the main key🔑 points I was given for a blissful marriage was to never go to bed angry! Besides, life is too short.

Who knows if tomorrow is promised? If there is something on your heart let it all out, (tactfully of course). Learn to pursue peace with your friends & family right now; then, by the time you get married, “conflict resolution” will be a walk in the park for you.

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2. Set a Date Night

My mentor taught me this best. She said, “When you’re married, life will happen. But no matter how much life happens, I still have a date with my hubby to look forward to.”

Date Night” is a day/night that’s set aside for you & your spouse.

NO ONE ELSE

Although, sometimes you can include your buddies and double/triple date. It’s typically a day for you and your spouse.

⭐️Note: Date night keeps the fire going in your marriage.

Throughout the busy week, you can be at ease because you know that on Friday Night you will be unwinding and escaping life’s pressures in the arms of your hubby (without any interruptions).

And date night does not have to be the same old (dinner+movie) thing! Spice it up a bit! One week go out to a pizza🍕parlor, go painting🎨 and end the night with a slow dance💃🏽🕺🏾at a jazz club🎷.

The next week, go play volleyball 🏐 or golf together!

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Go Get Some Delicious Hamburgers!

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Then, End The Date at a Race Car Track!

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I don’t know! lol 🤷🏽‍♀️

What I do know, however, is that there are so many activities you can do with your spouse to keep your marriage fresh and fun! It does not have to be routine and it does not have to be the same old, same old. Do something unexpectedly on one of your date nights and surprise your spouse!

⭐️Note: Never stop Dating your spouse. When you stop dating them your marriage can become stale very quickly.

3. Respect Your Hubby’s Bodily Needs

There will come a day sis…

Believe it or not…

When your man will not want to do the do…

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I know that sounds so unrealistic, but I’ve been told… it’s true.

Men get tired just like women do. But understanding that your husband is tired or going through some things in his own life will help make your husbands “No, not tonight baby.” a little easier. The quicker you understand that his body changes just like yours does, the less likely you’ll be to get upset, feel rejected, or jump to the conclusion that he has a side-piece he’s giving it to.

Instead of doing any of those things or making him feel less of a man on days when his (stuff) doesn’t quite work, offer him a back rub or a foot rub, maybe make his favorite dessert and empathize.

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Listen to him, and let him know whatever he’s going through is totally normal! Let him know that you’ll wait until he’s ready! Also, making love to one another is not a game. You don’t withhold your cookies from your husband because he didn’t give you any on the day you wanted it. (He could’ve really been tired or fatigued that day). Don’t play games or try to be tit for tat with your husband. Remember what I said in my last blog, “Marriage Myths.

⭐️What you don’t do another woman will.

Now, on the other hand…

If it’s been weeks or months!!! 😳😯🤨

You should definitely check into that! Although our bodies change as we get older, (it ain’t that much changing going on)! You should never go that long without touching and being intimate with your spouse, (unless the two of you agree on a fast) and even then, it’s not wise to fast for months at a time!

⭐️1 Corinthians 7:5-Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I wish my husband would come to me saying, “The Lord then called him on a 3 month fast.” The devil is a lie! God gone have to come down from Heaven and tell me the same thing too! Especially after I been waiting all these years for you! Boy, You better get yo’ tail in this room!😂😂

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4. The KING 👑 of TV📺

About a month ago, my nephew was in bed with me and we were watching veggie tales. He saw me reaching for the remote and immediately he went in and grabbed it before I could get it! I guess he thought I was going to change it from veggie tales to some boring adult channel.

Regardless of what he thought, he did NOT LET THE REMOTE GO. He even went to sleep with the remote in his hand, I thought this was the cutest thing ever! So I filmed him sleeping with the remote in his hand and put it on IG.

Although, it’s cute at 1 years old. It may not be so cute at 30. Here you are about to watch Oprah and your husband (who is dozing off) wakes up out of his sleep and swears he was still watching TV. Although this may seem trivial, I’ve been told the remote has actually caused a lot of arguments in marriage. Instead of getting upset, be wise sis!

⭐️Record your program, and go back and watch it later.

If you’re like me a (book reader) then don’t worry about this step. This step is to help out the women who enjoy watching TV as well. If you know your husband is a bit of a TV hog, (usually men are) then set a schedule, where the two of you can both watch what you want without having to clash.

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5. Healthy Hubby Is a Happy Hubby

Your husband is fine, in shape and looking so good in his suit!

And you want to keep him that way…right?

Right.

When it comes to eating most men love to grub, (I do to) if I can be honest. However, you don’t want to be burying your husband at 50. You want him to live a long and healthy life.

Taking care of your husbands health, is vital to marriage! You have to watch out for him, because knowing what I know about men, he probably won’t watch out for himself. Making sure that he goes to the doctor regularly, takes his multi-vitamins and has regular bowel movements💩 is all apart of a wife’s duties.

lol 😂

Just kidding.

But seriously sis, men have a shorter life span than women naturally, so you want to help e-x-p-a-n-d the life he has, not help take him out of here.

If you’re a woman that knows how to throw down in the kitchen, go ahead and throw down sis! But do it in moderation! When I get married, this is what me and husbands weekly chart will be, Mon-Thursday we will eat healthy! Eating things like grilled chicken, fish, salads, smoothies and exercising on those days as well. But Friday-Sunday we will enjoy ourselves! If we want pasta, wings or some good desserts then we will do that!

However, there has got to be a balance! Your husband cannot eat like a pig and expect to fly like a eagle the rest of the week. Switch out some of his bad eating habits for good ones. And your hubby will improve in every area of his life! Including the bedroom!

6. Never LAUGH AT YOUR HUSBAND

So you’re sitting at a dinner table with your friends. And one of them cracks a joke about your husband. Maybe his teeth aren’t all the way straight and they refer to him as “Bucky from Fat Albert.”

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Although you may have thought the joke was hilarious!!!

Do not laugh!!! I repeat DO NOT LAUGH!!

If you know your husband has insecurities about his teeth, or is trying to get them fixed and you know that joke hurt his feelings. Don’t laugh!

Most of the time men will come back with a check or two themselves and it’ll be all fun and games, but if your husband is not laughing. Neither should you. Follow his lead. Or better yet, when men start that crazy checking game that they do ever so often, simply get up and chill with the ladies!

Just in case one of them says something that cuts a little deep, you do not want to be caught in that cross fire and you definitely don’t want your husband to be angry at you saying things like: “Oh, so you think that’s funny huh?”

⭐️NOTE: Laughing at your husband in public, will get you put out in private.

I heard that from an old lady once and it stuck with me till this day!

And last but not least…

7. What Happens At Home Stays At Home

If your husband upsets you, you do not get to leave your house, and go stay with your parents! There are a lot of immature women who get married and when their husband does something that offends them, instead of talking it out, they run and tell everybody what’s going on and they make a big scene out of everything!

Sis if you’re behaving in this manner, you are definitely not ready for marriage!

For one, it’s disrespectful to your husband for his business to be out there in the streets like that, and guess what else? When your back all lovey-dovey and kissing on your hubby again, your family/mom/girl-friends will still be holding a grudge against him! (for something that you have completely forgiven and forgotten about)

Stick it out sis! Keep your butt at home! If you need to vent, tell it to Jesus! (you know He’s always listening). After that, call a responsible marriage accountability partner, like a mentor, or someone who’s been married longer than you, and get advice from them.

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If that’s still not enough, vent your feelings in a journal, or do like I do (write a song about it). But whatever you need to do to get your emotions out, do that! Then, when you have CALMED DOWN (all the way) go speak with your husband about what he did & how it made you feel. Talking bad about your hubby and dragging his name down, makes not only him look bad, but you as well.

⭐️NOTE: Don’t air your dirty laundry, clean it.

Okay, ladies!

That’s all for today!

If I give you any more information, I’m gonna have to charge you for it! (lol)

Seriously though!

Subscribe to the blog! You do not want to miss out on any of this good FREE teaching!

Next week the blog will be dedicated towards MEN as I give them knowledge on how to love their Wives!

I pray you all enjoyed the blog!

Until next time my loves!

Takyah Love 💕

Marriage Myths!

Everyone wants to find that someone special and live happily ever after…

But is happily ever after a myth or is it a real possibility?

In today’s blog, “Marriage Myths!” Were going to discuss the myths of marriage that many singles believe and the truths that happily married people have already discovered.

Let’s dive in!

1. Marriage is not a Fairy tale…

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Many singles, think marriage is a magic wand to their sad love life. They believe once they’re married, life is going to be perfect. Although, marrying the person God has for you can be beneficial to your life and help mold you into being a better you. It most definitely is not a fairy🧚‍♀️tale.

Fairy tales are (tales) for a reason.

The reason I want to tackle this myth first is because it’s the most dangerous myth of them all. “The Happily Ever After Myth” gives so many singles the mindset that you don’t have to do anything, yet the marriage will simply thrive because “You love one another.”

That myth, is completely false.

You cannot get married, do absolutely nothing, and think your wife/hubby is going to be happy with you.

Marriage is like a garden.

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Everyday your spouses garden will need to be tended to. If you ignore a garden for a period of time and never do anything to it, the garden will die! The same goes for your marriage. If you’re not spending time with your spouse, listening to them, serving them, or turning off your selfish desires to come into their world for a change. Your marriage will not survive. Ignoring your spouses needs and continuing to live life like you’re still single is a recipe for divorce.

⭐️NOTE: Marriage is not for the selfish at heart.

2. Marriage Is Teamwork

 Ecclesiastes 4:9Two are better than one.

I couldn’t agree more. Team work literally makes the dream work.

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Speaking from a strong woman’s point of view. I know we can sometimes want to do it all. But the reality is, we can’t. There are some things that my husband will be able to do better than me, and some things that I will be able to do better than him but we’re both on the same team! So, it’s a win for both of us!

If I know, I’m not so good with finances, and my husband is a wiz when it comes to budgeting and keeping money. My husband needs to be in charge over it. As long as were saving and making smart moves together, it won’t matter who’s in charge of what!

⭐️NOTE: Don’t try to run everything. You have nothing to prove. If you are not good at something, it’s okay to admit it. Let your spouse take over in those areas your weak in and vice versa.

3. Marriage Is A Compromise

That word sounds like a curse word to some singles. But I assure you that compromising has saved many marriages.

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Learning how to compromise on simple things will keep your marriage from experiencing one of those explosive💥 arguments that makes one of you want to leave home.

Say for instance both of you want to spend Thanksgiving with each of your separate families. Your hubby wants to go to his side of the family for the Holidays and you want to go to your side.

Instead of arguing and getting mad at each other, compromise. Let me give you an example of what the situation above would look like compromised.

  • Husband: “Babe, Can we spend this Thanksgiving at my parents house, they really want me to come visit them.”
  • Wife: “My mom wanted me to come see her as well…” “Hows about we go to your parents house for Thanksgiving first and if we have enough time, swing by my moms house?” “But if we can’t, I’ll spend “Black Friday” with her and go shopping instead.”

(And if they live in two different states)

Hows about spending Thanksgiving with your husbands side and then Christmas with your side of the family.

Do you see how simple that can be?

VS.

Arguing and getting all dramatic, saying things like, “You always want to do things your way!” (blah blah) (etc.)

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⭐️NOTE: Happy marriages consists of two people who continually compromise.

4. Marriage Is Not Butterflies🦋

It’s been 2 years. The butterflies have faded away. The goosebumps are not bumpy like they used to be.

Oh hush up now! That’s stupid.

Feelings will change but love never does. Many singles have confused lust with love. Lust changes once flesh is fulfilled. However, love never changes, it only matures and grows.

One thing I’ve heard continuously from married people is: Love is a choice.

It is not a feeling. Me having butterflies when I see you, is not love. It’s infatuation. You don’t wake up and decide to leave your spouse simply because you don’t feel a stupid bug 🐛 flying around in your stomach any more.

You do things to rekindle that flame🔥, you take a vacation and enjoy life with just the two of you, (no work, no kids, no in-laws, nothing). You find out what gets your husbands/wife’s body going and you turn up the heat! You invest in your spouse! You don’t go and find a whole new person simply because you want to feel some kind of Immature love high. You make it work with the one you already have.

Love is me waking up and having my husbands breakfast 🥓🥞ready and his clothes ironed before he goes out for his job in the morning.

Love is my husband rubbing my feet 💆🏽‍♀️after a long day of cleaning the house/work.

Love is me caring for my husband when he gets sick 🤒 (ladies we all know how men get when they get sick! They are such big babies! lol)

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Love is me praying 🙏🏽 for my husband when he feels too down to pray for himself.

Love is my husband cooking dinner 🥘 for me on a night when I’m too tired to do it.

Love is ordering take-out, 🍱 watching a good movie 🎥 together and just sitting on the couch to talk afterwards.

Love is me supporting my husband when I really don’t understand the move he just made regarding our family, but I choose to trust his leading anyway.

Love is not this fancy, steamy sex scene of a movie like “50 shades of lust”… I mean gray.”  portrays it.

Love is so much deeper than that singles.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

5. sex, Sex and more SEX!

This point is for my ladies!

While serving my First Lady a couple of years ago, I went to a First Ladies conference and got a chance to glean from the wisdom of these women.

And one of the points I was given for my future marriage was Sex, Sex & more sex!

I know that may sound funny, but it’s true. Men need sex/physical release more than we do. (least that’s what they say)

 any who…

Sex for men is a prerequisite. It’s the way their bodies are made up and if you don’t keep your shop open for your husband. Be sure that the enemy will do his job on presenting other candidates to him. (some who don’t mind sleeping with a married man)

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Single ladies when you get married, initiate being intimate with your man! Your husband shouldn’t always have to come to you first. Stop making him feel like he’s begging you for something that is completely natural to him.

On days when you’re really tired, just think back to all those nights when you were single and was praying to God for this moment. Instead of rolling over and rejecting your husband continuously because (you’re tired), (you don’t feel like it) or some other reason.

Go into the bathroom, make yourself up, refresh yourself if you have to, put on some perfume and put on something cute. And do your thang girl! Do not keep rejecting your husband.

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Think how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

Men, I do need to give you a warning though.

Sex is a need for you, and because it’s a need for you, more so than it is for us. I want to help you out so you can successfully dip your hand into your wife’s cookie jar!

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If you know you want to be intimate with your wife later on. Start teasing her that morning, send her cute little love notes, stop and get her a cheap bouquet of flowers, show her some affection! Do something that lets her know that you love her and I guarantee you that before you can even hit the door good she will be all over you.

You can’t act up, be mean, say hurtful things to her and think you’re about to dive in, you will not be diving into anything except for a cold bath-tub! The likelihood of your wife giving you anything, after you’ve treated her like crap is slim to never.

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⭐️NOTE for the Ladies: What you don’t do another woman will.

⭐️NOTE for the Men: Sex for most women is a affectionate/romantic thing. You cannot be hurtful to your wife and think just because you want to have sex, she’s going to give you some. She is your Wife not a midnight skeezer. So, don’t treat her that way.

6. Don’t you dare say that!

One of the main reasons people divorce, (after infidelity & finances) is due to hurtful/hateful words and continuous arguing.

The phrase:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words never hurt me,” is a lie.

The Bible alone lets us know that’s not true! You literally frame your world by the words you speak.

  • Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)- Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

With that being said, you must be careful what you speak over your spouse! You cannot speak death over your marriage and expect life to sprout up from your marriage garden. Be careful of the seeds you plant with your mouth!

You can’t say to your husband:

  • Your lazy!
  • You never do anything right!
  • I can’t stand you!

And expect him to soar and be this great, wonderful husband! Those words are hurtful to anybody!

  • Proverbs 14:1 (NLT)- A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

And future husbands, you can’t say any ole’ things that pops up into your head either. You know what’s hurtful. Matter of fact, you think about what you’re going to say before you even say it. If you’re thinking about saying something that you know would make your wife cry and shut down.

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Why say it?

If you have the urge that bad, call one of your friends and pray about it, go outside and yell. Do whatever you have to do, but don’t hurt your wife.

⭐️NOTE: What takes only 1 second to say, can take days/months and sometimes years to repair.

Of course there are so many more points I could give but I think that’s enough for now.

However, I do want to recommend a few things to you.

(I made everything clickable! Simply click on whatever you want and it’ll take you right to the product)

Take the “5 Love Languages Test

If you and your fiance‘/spouse know each others love language it really does make loving each other so much easier! What makes you feel loved, is not what always makes another person feel loved. Its good to know how to express your love to your spouse in a way they can understand.

I definitely recommend reading “The 5 Love Languages” before marriage!

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This book has sold millions of copies worldwide and is proven to help out any marriage! I’ve read it myself and it’s amazing!

Some other great books related to this topic are:

I bought both! I highlighted my favorite pages in the blue book, so that when I get married, my hubby can know exactly what to do… tehehehe…😏(evil laugh)! The books are so cheap too! They’re only 3.99 at thriftbooks.com!

I also highly recommend listening to a few of the late Dr.Myles Munroe’s teachings on marriage. It will bless your socks off!

Lastly, I want to recommend a few movies that you can watch. I believe watching these movies can give you a better outlook on marriage and what marriage can really look like (depending on how much you tend to your spouses garden).

Tyler Perry’s Play: “The Marriage Counselor.

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Why did I get married?

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Okay!

That’s all for today!

I hope y’all enjoyed the blog!

Love,

Takyah

Life's Nuggets For The Single Christian.