No matter how much men or other women try to make you feel like you’re losing.
If you’re living a lifestyle of purity,
You are winning sis!
Whether you’re a virgin or a woman who’s dedicated her body back to God, you’re on the right team!
Society makes being celibate seem so ancient; so outdated, but truth never changes. Just because every woman around you seems to be dishing out their goodies and having men by the dozen doesn’t mean they’re winning.
In today’s blog, “5 Things the Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal with.” I will be discussing some of the benefits of why waiting for marriage is both beneficial and necessary.
Let’s dive in!
1. No Confusion
Because I’m waiting until marriage. Confusion rarely hits my life. Now there have been some times when I’ve gotten “a little off” because I thought it would work out with someone and it ended up not working out, but other than that, nothing drastic has happened in my emotional psyche.
When you have sex before marriage, confusion will be your plight. If a man is “putting it down” on you, but is treating you like dirt. The way he makes your body feel will clash with his actual behavior. Sex was designed by God to be a final tie between two souls, it’s the sealing of a covenant promise. Because sex is so powerful, God never intended for it to be used as a trial run. When you have sex with someone, you’re merging together your souls, your wills and your emotions.
Now wonder women who have sex before marriage are always confused and go back and forward with a man, (even after he’s shown his true colors); that’s because, the two of them have intertwined and become one in both the spirit & the natural.
However, if you keep your goodies to yourself, you wont have to worry about any of that!
⭐️NOTE: Think about what you’re joining yourself up with. Ask yourself is this man really worth it?
2. Celibate Women Won’t Get Tricked
Some men come into your life for one thing,
& one thing only.
And that my ladies…
is to get a piece of your cookie.
Now, all men are not like this, however for the ones who are, guess what?
If that’s all he wants, it wont matter anyway because you’re not having sex! Lol. It’s a win, win sis! Usually, men who don’t get what they want will leave anyway.
I’ve had men try me, from the least to the greatest of them. Some of who were rich, fine and even godly… but when they saw I wasn’t going for it, they left.
Instead of being left crying or in a state of “acrimony” because a man used me, I was left shouting and praising God that I kept myself and didn’t fall for the “I’m gonna marry you anyway.” lie.
3. No Sex Runs Away the Fakes
I remember a few years back talking to this man. He had his own business and was a very handsome chocolate 🍫 drop!
After a couple weeks of flirting, and talking. As we were planning our first date, the sex subject came up and I was very upset!
At the time I didn’t want to tell him I wasn’t having sex until marriage because I really liked this man. And just like I knew telling men this had ran many of them off in the past, I didn’t want to risk losing him too.
But…I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide this forever so, I decided to tell him anyway…
To my surprise the conversation actually turned out okay. In fact, this man said he had a new respect for me. He actually praised me for it!
He told me plainly,
“Look Takyah, I cant lie, I do want to have sex with you but I gotta respect your decision. That’s kind of cool how you’re waiting for your husband, but I cant do it. I wish you the best and I hope whoever marries you knows what he got.”
We talked a few times after that and then he stopped calling. But once again I was happy because I didn’t compromise. We simply stated what we wanted in a relationship and we didn’t match up, and that’s okay!
But guess who left that thing soul tie free???
4. There Is No Mystery To You
My mom always told me that when a man really wants you, you will know.
A man will come across the world for the woman he loves.
I couldn’t agree more ma! 😉
There was this friend of mine who found herself in a relationship with a man who drove her crazy (in a good way). He catered to her, opened up doors for her, and literally praised the ground she walked on. He came by her house, fixed some broken things and even included her children in their dates a few times.
She was so ecstatic that she wanted to reward him for his kind deeds. I spoke with her and told her,
“Sis, if you want to reward a man, there are a million things you can do other than sex, you can buy him this new game he’s been talking about getting for his playstation, you can cook his favorite meal and surprise him with a candle light dinner, or you can buy him a ticket to go see his favorite NBA team! If you want to reward him, do one of those things! But whatever you do, Do Not Sleep with this man!”
She said she wouldn’t and I was happy to know she was going to take my advice.
One day I stopped by her house to bring her some lasagna I’d made and walking out of the front door was her new man; when I walked in and saw what she had on I was very angry.
There she was with booty shorts on, a tank top and a push up bra. Everything she had to offer was on display.
I told her, “I thought we were going to keep it classy?”
Her excuse was that it was hot outside. Although I knew what she was trying to do, (because I myself am a woman) I simply shook my head, placed the lasagna on the counter and left.
A few weeks later she called me pouting and throwing a tantrum. When I asked her why was she upset? I already knew the answer.. She told me they ended up having sex a few days after I’d come over and now this man stopped returning her calls, and if he did pick up the phone, his excuse for not talking to her was that he was busy.
What she failed to realize was this,
the man she was dating was a business man who was all about investments. After speaking with him a few times myself, I could clearly see that he was truly looking for a wife, he was in his late 30’s and he was tired of dating women and having relationships that never went anywhere.
That’s why when she presented herself as a wife, he treated her like a wife, he was genuinely happy to know he’d finally found a woman worth his time. But when she thought she had this man in the bag and started portraying herself as a sex object, he saw her as a bad investment. She questioned how could he switch just like that? It’s because the mystery of who she was disappeared after sex.
⭐️NOTE: Once you give up your cookie there is nothing left that you can offer or entice a man with.
Withhold your mystery ladies, that’s what keeps a man going and wondering what you’re like. Your diamond is the highest card you can play in this courting game and marriage is a mans highest card. Don’t you dare play your highest card until after he’s played his.
5. You’re Not Blindsided by Lust
Another thing I love about being celibate is that I get to see how much a man really wants me, or… how much he doesn’t.
Either way I benefit!
When you choose to wait, you get to experience love at it’s highest level. The relationship can blossom freely without lust or confusion getting in the way. Plus, you get to see the other person for who they really are.
Sex, as I’ve said it before can make you think that a person is great when in actuality they’re terrible. Because sex releases all these chemicals that makes a woman feel safe and bond with a man, it blurs your perception of how you see him, while on the contrary not having sex makes everything crystal clear 😁!
I get to see a mans attitude, how he treats me, how he responds to me, if he’s selfish, if he’s mean. I get to see all of that with a clear view and unclouded judgement. Then, once I’ve gotten to know him a little better and seen him for who he really is, I get to decide if I want to be with this man or not.
But, if you give it all away to a man at the very beginning you’ll get to see none of that! Not only will your judgement be cloudy, but you don’t even know if he’s going to stick around to show you anything else about him.
NOTE: Sex is not the cake 🍰
It’s simply the icing on what the two of you have built through communication, prayer, love, support and respect. If the two of you have built something like that, then sex after marriage is only going to enhance that love! But if you’ve built your relationship on sex, compromise, lust and sin, then your foundation for marriage will be rocky.
That’s of course if the two of you even get married..
but that’s none of my business…
I’m simply here to share with you why being Celibate trumps Sex before marriage!
Hope you could take something from this!
As always, love you ladies and Gents who snuck in! (lol)
Until next time!