Hey 👋🏼 Ladies!!!

The reason I have not had a chance to write to you, is because ya girl has been crazy busy lately! When I tell you I am so overdue for a pampering spa-package and a beach 🏖 vacay, I don’t know what to do!

Any who, today’s blog is not about me,

It’s about us.

Yes Ladies..

US..

Getting the love we deserve,

being treated with respect

having our hearts handled with care.

And US, knowing who we are, and not settling for anything less than what we truly deserve.

A man who will have a heart after God and a man who will love us to infinity and beyond. 

With that being said ladies, without further ado, I present to you, “When God Writes Your Love Story.”

1. 😇 You won’t be in constant battle ✍🏼

I am a firm believer, that when God writes your love story, it will be one of the most peaceful relationships ever.

Why?

Because God will be in it!

I know I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I want you ladies to really understand me.

The only time you or your guy friend should ever be warring is when the two of you are (warring in prayer for one another, or against the enemy). There should never be an ongoing war just to maintain your relationship.

  • You should not be warring and praying that a man calls you back
  • You should not be fasting for him to take you out on a date
  • And you definitely shouldn’t have to call the mother board & intercessory team, to touch & agree with you that a man will see your worth and choose you to be his wife.

(Yes I have been around women in the church who have actually done that) 🤦🏽‍♀️

If you’re doing all that praying and warring just to get him, can you imagine all the trouble you will have to go through to keep him?

The truth is,

⭐️NOTE: You will never have to war for a man whom The Lord is ready & willing to give to you.

Although, you will have to (cover) your boyfriend or soon to be husband in prayer, (because the enemy will try to attack what God has joined together) however, you should not be warring for the basic requirements a man should provide in an exclusive relationship.

It just doesn’t make sense.

I know it may hurt to let someone go who’s been apart of your life for many months or years, but God wants to give you someone greater than a man who’s only giving 20% of himself. Retire from your tug-o-war game sis and show The Lord you trust Him!

Let go and make room for The New Thing God wants to do in your life!

⭐️NOTE: When God has approved the two of you, His grace will flow all over the relationship, because you’re in alignment with His will.

2. 😇 You won’t have to change yourself ✍🏼

When God is writing your story, you won’t have to change who you are just to make this person happy.

I am a woman who’s Loves the Lord, I love worshipping, I’m silly, I sing, I love to cook, I love writing, I enjoy cleaning, I’m extremely goofy, I’m sweet and laid back, yet very discerning. I’m deep, I find revelation in the smallest of things and I see in the spiritual realm; angels, demons and all.

But if I have to stop being deep, stop singing, stop being silly or dumb myself down just because I don’t want to seem like I’m too much for someone, God is not in it.

⭐️NOTE: Know the value of self.

I am very valuable, and I know that now more than ever before. Years ago, when I didn’t know my value, I would pretend to be weak, dumb and many other things, just so I wouldn’t intimidate or offend the man I was dating.

But now… I simply don’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️ lol.

And neither should you.

If you have to make major changes in your personality, or alter the best parts of you, I guarantee! You are not getting Gods best. God would never ask you to hide the real you for a man sis.

So, don’t do it!

Let the real you shine ☀️ and your Hubby will be attracted to you. Not some fake made up version you’re pretending to be.

⭐️NOTE: If he doesn’t like the real you, he’s not who God has for you.

3. 😇 You Will Feel Special ✍🏼

When God is writing your love story, He will give you a man that will sweep you off your feet.

My sis at my church ⛪ just got engaged in the most romantic way ever, and this man is head over heels for her as she is for him. The love they have for one another and all the planning this man did, had all the sisters in church in tears! Especially me!

Hearing her love story and seeing the engagement video not only gave me hope that God will have someone like that for me one day, but it also confirmed what I already knew about men.

And what I knew was when a man is truly in love with you, he will go to great depths just to make sure you know that. Time will not separate his love and circumstances will not make him change his mind. He will even move mountains if he has to.

img_0043

If you’re with a man and your unsure of his feelings for you, he never defines the relationship, or he simply seems to not care much about the relationship at all?

It’s probably time to rest and give that thing up sis..

The Bible says,

⭐️Proverbs 10:22– The blessings of the Lord makes a person rich, and He adds no sorrow with it.

What God is saying is that every blessing that comes from Him will prosper you and make you richer and there will be no sorrow attached to it!

Ask yourself,

Is this person making me richer?

What value are they adding to my life?

Are they depositing into me or simply withdrawing?

If you’re sorrowful, warring all the time and feel as if you are left hanging like a loose thread, think 💭 is this who The Father? The giver of good gifts truly have for me?

Some of you already know the answer to that question.

But for the ones who don’t know and really want clarity, Pray and ask God about them. (Just be ready for the answer).

And if The Lord is not writing your love story, and you want Him to; I challenge you to turn in your ink pen and allow Him (The Author and finisher of our Faith) to write a love story that will be divinely directed by The Lord Himself.

As always,

Love you girls!

Xoxo 😘

Love,

🌻 Takyah 🌻

At the age of 20, almost 4 years ago, I promised the Lord I would save my emotions, my body, my heart, my romantic ideas and everything else for my future husband and I meant that. However, I did not know I would have to pass up sooo many good men in the process.

Even the toughest of us single women have at least once in our “singleness” gotten to a point where we just wanted out! Out of God’s will and out of God’s plan! And it seems like right at that very moment, (the moment we decide we want out) that we’re presented with a man who looks like “an answer to prayer.

However, after asking the Lord about this beautiful man, He responds with the same answer He’s always given… “No.” After hearing his answer, we fuss, we fight, we wonder does God even know what He’s doing? 

Sis… if you have been through anything like this, I know where you’re coming from. Sadly, this has been the story of my life the ENTIRE time I’ve been single. (4 years) So, if you’re going through this as well, I want to share with you in, “Lord please…Can I have him?” 3 reasons why you cannot have him, and also, why you should listen to God if he says no about a man that is pursuing you; no matter how delicious 🤤 or appetizing 😏 that man may look. (Sorry y’all this new diet I’m on has me a little hungry) lol.

Okay ladies!

Let’s talk!

1.🙏🏽He is not in God’s will for your life😭

The number one reason, you should listen to God if he says No about a man is because He is not in His will for your life. The Bible encourages us in Isaiah 55:8-9, The Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts.

  • “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Not only that, but Jesus himself lets us know that we do not have a will. The only will we have is the will of God. You can try to fight God’s will (JONAH) all you want to, but if it’s for you, there is nothing you can do to stop it, and if it’s not for you, there is nothing you can do to make it be for you. Jesus said, I come to do what’s written about me in the books to do, prior to me coming here.

Meaning, he didn’t come down here to kick back, chillax with Peter and the fellas, and use his anointing to attract women by the dozens. No. The Lord did not come to fulfill flesh, he came to fulfill the will of God and be the Saviour for all mankind. Think about it…If Jesus himself had to submit to the will of God in the garden of Gethsemane, how much more do we?

  • John 6:38– For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. (NIV)
  • Hebrews 10:7– Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. (KJV)
  • Matthew 26:39– Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?” (MSG)

And he was not the only one who had figured this out, David and Solomon said the exact same thing.

  • Psalm 139:16You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
  • Proverbs 19:21– You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

Realizing that God already had a purpose and plan for your life, wayyyy before you could even think about purpose, (Jeremiah 1:5) is the best way to understand what He’s doing in your life. Along this road, you will meet some amazing men, some of which the Lord has orchestrated to pour into you or simply to be a F-R-I-E-N-D. If God says “no” about taking things to the next level with them, you cannot have them! If a man is not in God’s will for your life, in the end it will not work out like you want it to.

The two of you could be going two different places. His life might interfere with what God has planned for you and vice versa. Whatever it is, trust that God knows what He’s doing in your life! There’s no safer place to be than the will of God. It has less confusion, less worry, less stress, less pain and less heartache than you trying to make something happen for yourself.

NOTE: If you get out of the will of God for something, you’ll have to stay out of his will to keep it.

God knows the husband, the business, the partnerships, the friends and everything else he wants to add to your life, He doesn’t need you to try to make something happen, he’s already made it happen. The Lord knows your ending from your beginning, so chill sis! P.S. (Don’t provoke God’s wrath with your disobedience and doubt, you’ll only prolong your blessings that way.)

2.🙏🏽God knows His heart😭

Sis, God knows things about people we do not know. And we have to trust his judgment. We see the smile, the shirt and tie, and how sweet a man can be. Yet, God goes underneath those garments and strips the person for what they really are.

  • 1 Samuel 16:7– But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.” 

When I think about the man I was engaged to many years ago, at the age of 19. I was so lost and confused. Without bashing this man’s character (because my “being naive”) played a BIG part in how I allowed him to treat me.

I must be honest…

This man started out clean cut, he had a fun personality and was extremely funny! (Which is always a plus with me) but as time went on, this man turned into the complete opposite, he didn’t dress like he did when I first met him, he dropped out of school, he stopped pursuing everything and just became stagnant in life.

One day while I was cooking he even told me that he was waiting on me to get signed so he could meet certain “celebrities” and basically live it up off of my goals. He was very controlling and from his mood swings I could tell he was about to take things up a notch. Not to mention the company he kept “planted bad seeds” as they thought it was “okay” to hit women…

But guess what Sis??

God gave me MANY dreams about this man while we were still friends!

I wouldn’t have had to go through ANY of those things had I listened! (One dream was so scary that I didn’t even talk to him for a whole 2 weeks afterward, because I was that afraid.)

black-woman-with-migraine

However, because I didn’t understand the will of God. I kept being disobedient. Months before he asked me to be his “leading lady” (because I was not the only one) The Lord had already showed me in a dream who he really was. But guess what? I shook it off like “no big deal” and God’s just trying to scare me… and no, he wasn’t! He was trying to warn me! He was letting me know that He knew the heart of the man, He knew how things would go, how they would would turn out, and everything else that was about to happen. And honestly, when I look back and see that this man is still in the same spot as before, (4 years later) I think…Oh my goodness, my life would’ve been Terrible! I’m so happy that God Loved me enough to pull me out of a situation I wasn’t smart enough to leave on my own.

NOTE: God will wreck your plans before they wreck you.

That’s why now I am “extremely careful” about men and dating, so many people wear facades in the beginning of relationships that it’s hard to tell if a person is really legit or not. That’s why ladies we have to put our hope and trust in The Lord Jesus! And allow him to direct us to the person he wants us to be with! And if He says “No.” Or “Not yet.” We have to learn to be okay with it.

3.🙏🏽He won’t lead you to Christ😭

The whole purpose of any man+woman relationship is to end up like Christ. Many relationships are not Jesus centered and because of that they quickly go into lust, anxiety, “playing tit for tat” games and being confused.

And because God knows this “new fine man” won’t lead you closer to Him. He says “No.” Now, I am not knocking good men who make “mistakes” because I believe in the grace of Jesus, however, like I said in my book, “Purity over PASSION.

Even a good man can sometimes slip up, and make a mistake. Yet, that doesn’t mean ‘that mistake’ has to be with you.

But, right now I am talking about the “other man”, you know the ones who are their just to hurt you, play games, get you distracted and lead you further away from Christ. God is not interested in someone who’s going to do that to you. He’s interested in someone who’s going to build you up, love you like He loves his Church, and wash you and present you back to Him and say “Here she is Lord, look at the woman she has become, look at what I did with the gift you gave me.” Not, “Oh my bad, I didn’t mean to make her cry, I didn’t mean to hurt her, I’m sorry God I didn’t mean to cheat but that other shawty was fineee!!

shutterstock_149077067

Ladies, God is a purpose God. He is not going to give you a man who will lead you away from him. He wants the two of you to pursue him together. He doesn’t want your heart all broken, you stressing up late at night, and wondering about some man who’s playing games.

Any man like that is not leading you to Christ, he’s giving you a headache and wasting time. With the man God has for you, the two of you should be evolving for the better! Not acting crazy, cheating on each other and being in the flesh all the time. If you are in a relationship and you’re behaving like that, I guarantee you, that is not who God has for you. What God has for you will be peaceful and will undoubtedly bring out the best in the both of you, not the worst.

Don’t you want that?

Doesn’t that sound like a relationship worth waiting for?

Sis, if you want a relationship that’s peaceful and God-approved. You’re going to have to wait on “who God approves.”

Do not settle. 

As hard as it is, and as much as you want to get out of the will of God. Wait… Do not get weary in well doing. As much as it may hurt to see “other couples” kiss and hold hands, and every one else get married or engaged on your timeline… wait..

I once heard a story and I’ll leave you with this…

There was a party of 8 all sitting around at a table in this fancy restaurant about to eat dinner. They’d all placed their orders and within a few minutes the food began to come out. One man had a salad, another some chips and salsa, the third man had a grilled cheese sandwich, the fourth a hotdog, the fifth a turkey sandwich, the sixth a smoothie, and the seventh an egg and cheese sandwich. As the 8th man sat there angry (because everyone else had their food before him) He pounded his fists on the table and demanded to speak to the manager! Right when he was upset and thought about going across the street to go get something “quick to eat” the waitress yelled and said “Sir, your dinner has arrived.” When she sat the plate in front of him all the other guest marveled at his dinner. On his plate was a big juicy steak, a sweet potato and some delicious grilled vegetables. After tasting and seeing how beautiful and delicious the food was, he was happy he waited. Everyone else, after seeing the man’s plate said “Waitress, give me what he’s having!”

steak

That’s what God is doing for you sis! He’s cooking up something big and magnificent for you! The reason why yours is taking so long is because you don’t have an average blessing. What God has planned for you is going to be so big, so grand, so immeasurable that many women are going to say “Wow, God does that? I want God to do the same thing for me!”

Not only that, but because you allowed God to prepare you and you didn’t vacate the “process.” you will be ready for all those BIG Blessings He’s about to bestow on your life!

And when you go out on your first date…and God says, “Yes, daughter..He’s the one.”

You’ll be happy you waited…

fast-date

Your relationship is going to flow so much, that it’s like the two of you will be synchronized together. And guess what sis? God is going to back you up and protect what the two of you have because you listened and waited for the best He could give you…

 

As always,

Jesus loves you and so do I!

signing off!

Takyah Love

Did the Lord tell you who your husband was?

If so, how did he do it?

  • Did he tell you in a dream?
  • A vision?
  • Did you hear an audible voice?

Or was it all your Flesh???

Now I know this can be a touchy subject; nevertheless, this is an issue that must be discussed!

In today’s blog: “Back Off! The LORD said, He’s my Husband!” I will be coming at you with the ulfiltered truth. And just like any other day, I want you ladies to listen & take what I am about to share with you into consideration; even if I step on your toes a little bit…👀

                            Okay Ladies…

                           Let’s get started.

1. Do You SEE Me Now?

One thing I know for sure, is that

God will never tell you a man is your husband & then have YOU pursue HIM!

The Bible says in:

  • ⭐️ Proverbs 18:22-“He that finds a wife finds a good thing, & {when he finds her, he obtains favor from the Lord.}”

What I believe the scripture is saying, is that it’s the mans job to come find us, pursue us, & if God allows it, conquer us. (Meaning court you & put a ring on your finger, because he knows your worth.) 

Yet, there are so many women in the wrong role; acting as if they are the pursuer! Sis, you don’t need to chase down🏃🏽‍♀️a man to get favor from God!

You are the FAVOR and THE GOOD THING!

Just last summer, I met a young woman, who was on fire for God! She was highly anointed, beautiful & someone I deemed to be very powerful! We talked a few times & I was told there was this man at the conference she had a crush on..

However, what started out as an innocent crush… has now transpired into a downright obsession! When I last ran into her, (which was quite recently), I hugged her and noticed immediately she was not the same “fireball” I’d met almost a year ago.

In fact, where I last saw joy & smiles, I was now seeing confusion & heartache.
I couldn’t help but feel sorry as I watched her skip once more to the front row, hoping this would be the day the man she’d secretly fallen for, would finally “See” her as his wife.

Ladies…I hate to be the bearer of bad news.. but that…

IS NOT GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

⭐️NOTEGod, would never put you in a situation that would drain the very life & peace he’s given you! (just to be noticed by a man.)

This woman was so focused on this man being her husband, that she couldn’t even focus on her own life & what The Lord had entrusted her with. Instead of spending her single season doing what “The LORD” wants her to do. She’s spending her days, following a man from city to city & allowing the enemy to steal precious time from her life!

⭐️NOTE: God will not give you a man that will become an Idol for you. (Someone that you praise & glorify yet neglect your relationship with Christ in the process.)

Ladies, b-e-l-i-e-v-e me when I say this,

The man God has for you… 

WILL SEE YOU!

*naturally.*

When God brought Eve to Adam, he was in a deep sleep, but when his eyes were opened; the first thing he said was, “WHOAH! MAN!” as the late Dr. Myles Munroe stated it! 😅

Then, after Adam saw her; the very next thing he wanted to do was be with her & cleave to her!

Ladies, that right there is PROOF you don’t have to force anything!

Once God presents you to your true husband, it will be something about you that will stand out to him! (maybe your smile, your spirit, or just the fact he can’t stop thinking about you.) Even if he’s not able to put his finger on (*what it is about you*)

God will help him figure out that puzzle piece.

& He can definitely do it,

WITHOUT   YOU!!!

2. The Man/Woman of God told you so!!

Lord Have Mercy…if I had a nickel..for every time I heard this, I’d be the nickel queen 👸🏽wearing a nickel coat by now…

It was 2015. Around the second quarter of the year. I’d been awakened with a dream about this young Evangelist who’d previously came to my church & prophesied to me.

Because I did not understand the dream at the time. I told the dream I’d dreamt of him to a highly discerning woman of God.

(Because I trusted her counsel)

When I finished telling her all the dreams I’d had of him, she smiled from ear to ear & said, “Takyah, he’s probably your husband.” My response was, “What?!” She then replied, “Mhhm… I believe he is.

After I told her so many reasons as to why I clearly knew this man was not my husband & how those dreams had to mean something else; she stated a case that sounded so good I almost fell for it!

However, because of that check🤔 in my spirit, I politely rejected that interpretation & went on about my business.

6 months Later…

One winters day as I was sitting at my computer desk getting ready to post something on Facebook, this big picture popped up on my timeline announcing a wedding.

It read:

💍💍You are invited to come out and celebrate with us! We’ll be tying the knot! 

May 7, 2016 💍💍

 And guess who was on this picture??

A beautiful young lady smiling from ear to ear, with, “The Man of God” (who was supposedly supposed to be my husband)

   Ladies, do you see why this is so dangerous? 

Just because, “Mother Mable” or your Pastor tells you that “so and so” could be your husband; doesn’t mean you go & try to bring that word or prophecy to pass!

Another one of my favorite scriptures for this topic is,

⭐️Ruth 3:18Then Naomi said to her, “Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. (The man won’t rest) until he has settled things today.”

Sis, you have got to be still & wait on God! Stop worrying about a husband! Ruth got all excited, telling Naomi, “Boaz is going to do this & Boaz is going to do that!” However, Naomi’s response was rooted in wisdom, she simply told Ruth to be still.

In other words,

(Calm down honey!)

It is not your job to worry if a man is going to marry you or not. According to scripture, it’s the mans job not to rest until he has made you his wife!!

Can you imagine the damage that could have caused, if I would’ve gotten all excited, started attending this mans ministry meetings & got myself attached to the idea of him being my husband!?!

Lord Jesus that could’ve turned into a sticky situation!!

Not only that, but let’s just say: “hypothetically speaking.” I would’ve caught this mans attention & we would’ve started dating.

Who’s to say w
e would have even liked each other or been happy together?

Sis, I’m telling you! You want who God has for you! Not someone else’s husband! I’ve heard many sad stories of people getting married & having terrible marriages, simply because they listened to a spiritual adviser vs. listening to God.

When Abraham sent his servant out to find a wife for Isaac, the servant didn’t ask another servant what he should do? He got down on his knees & asked the only one he knew would give him the right answer.

GOD!

Genesis 24: 12-15— Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

Before he had finished praying, Rebekah not only came out, but she did everything the servant prayed for! In that confirmation alone, he knew God had answered his prayers!

With that being said, what I’m trying to relay to you, is that if anyone has told you,

Girl, Carlos may be your husband!”
or,
Those dreams mean he’s going to marry you!”

PRAY!!!

Talk it over with God & trust His leading! Not “mans.” People can look at two people and say all day long,

  • Ooh! He’ll be good for her!” Or
  • She’ll be real good for him!”

But honey please

If God ain’t hooked it up. I wont be in it! You’ll find yourself in a (Hooked up Hot Mess) if you listen to people.

3. What Did God Say??? 

I know this may seem like a simple question; but many women (especially in the body of Christ) allow their emotions to guide them instead of the Holy Spirit!

Just because you see a man & admire him doesn’t mean God will give him to you.

I don’t care how much you pray for him, if it is not in God’s will for your life. It will not happen! 

That’s why, when you pray 🙏🏽, you should always pray, “Lord let your will be done in my life, not mine.

I remember reading this story about a woman who went through the, “The Lord told me who my husband was experience.

In her story she stated:

There was this finnneee brother that joined church. Every single women that saw him, wanted him! She said, he couldn’t even get in the church building good before women put their purses down claiming the seat next to him. She even thought some of the things they did to get his attention were extreme.
However, one day after service, she went home, went to bed and found herself dreaming about this same man! In her dream, she said both of them were holding hands and smiling at one another. The next morning she woke up & thought “Wow God! He must be my husband!

After this dream, she started going to church more and doing exactly what all the other women were doing before her. But to her surprise this man never acknowledged her or any other woman for that matter.

Finally, after many months of chasing this man & trying to subliminally inform him that she was his wife. She went and talked to someone at the church about it.

Turns out, 10 other women in church had the same dream.

The story ends with the man not marrying any of them.

He actually married someone else…

Ladies… that situation from the very beginning was rooted in confusion! God was not the author of that! Sis, God loves you too much for that!

The bible says in Isaiah,

10 At the beginning I announce the end,
proclaim in advance things not yet done;
and I say that my plan will hold,
I will do everything I please to do.

So why on earth would he give you a dream & tell you to wait for a man He already knows 7 months down the line is going to marry someone else!! 🤔

Sometimes, you can want something so bad you can (fool yourself ) into thinking God said this or said that, when in fact, God has said nothing

I know that may be hard for some of you to bear, especially if you have wasted years or months believing that God promised you something.

But, the proof of a man being yours is not in a friend request, a follow on periscope, a dream you had or anything else…

The proof is that relationship being manifested in your life. You can dream all you want to! But if God has not established those dreams,

 They will not manifest.

I do not believe it’s Gods will for you to sit around & be hurt year after year, playing the good ole faithful wife, while this man does whatever he wants & you just sit and wait on him to finally “see you.”

No ma’am!

Whatever God has for you, will be established in your life!

The best thing I can tell you to do, is to get as FAR AWAY from that man & the idea of him as you possibly can! Run into the arms of Jesus sis & STAY THERE!! So when your real husband comes, the only way he’ll be able to get you, is to go to God himself & ask for you!!

  • Stop stalking these men
  • Liking all their posts
  • & Re-tweeting every little thing they say!

⭐️NOTE: You are more than a groupie sis! You are somebody’s future wife! 

 Now act like it! 

Just watch! As soon as you start focusing on who you are & what God has given you to do. God will add “the perfect man (meaning the most suitable man for your destiny) to your life!

And he will add him at His perfect timing…..

Now, I do not expect to get many “job well done” comments on this blog. So many women have itching ears for a “prophetic husband word” that they’ve become accustomed to the lies & the foolery that’s going on in the body of Christ.

Nevertheless, I will write & speak everything God gives to me! As you all know from the very first blog I wrote: Three Ways to Know if a Man is “Heaven” sent or “Hell” sent. I tell only the truth & nothing but the truth.

Ladies, I pray this helped you…

I would never say or write anything to hurt you! I want you to walk in God’s best! 🙂 But sometimes the truth has to be told so that you can be set free & do just that!

⭐️Also, if you would like for me & the Holy Ghost (lol) to make an appearance at any special event or occasion, here’s the new “book me” page that’s been added to my website:

 “BOOK TAKYAH”

Simply click on the link and it’ll take you to the form you should fill out if you need me!!

Okay Ladies, I am out of here!!!

Until next time my loves!!!

🌸Takyah Love🌸

Hey Ladies and Gents! I hope you all enjoyed part one to “Getting Back Into The Dating Game!” Don’t forget to comment & share the blog with your friends! Let’s get started!                                   

                             👠Ladies👠                        

                       4. Cover it Up! 

There was this time in my life, when I used to let it all hang out! I’m sure you girls remember that horrible selfie I posted in “Beauty from Within…” a couple of months ago.  
Honay,… honayy! I knew I had a nice curvy body & I would go parading 🎊 those lil hips of mine all over the place!!!

(That was before I really knew Jesus) 

As I constantly kept showing off “what my mama gave me.” I noticed something. The clothes I thought, would finally get a man to love me, only got men to lust after me. I was using my body as bait, yet never catching any fish! 
Man after man! They all wanted to sleep with me! They would pretend to be my friend long enough for them to spring the sex question up and when I told them “I’m practicing abstinence.” They would laugh at me as if I was lying.

The problem was, I was a good girl, trying to use bad girl tips. Which kept producing: bad girl results! One Sunday afternoon, (after I’d start attending church) the First Lady pulled me aside & said this:

 ⭐️⭐️⭐️”Wear your clothes tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.“⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

What she was telling me was this; there is nothing wrong with cute shirts, jeans, dresses or heels! However, when you go out, make sure you dress to represent our daddy! (God). It’s still possible to dress fashionably, without looking like you don’t have class.  

For instance , all of these outfits are “No Go’s!” 

 Wearing outfits like this ⬆️ will not only misrepresent God; in addition they will also make you appear as if you’re a bedroom woman
I’ve heard many women complain about how all the good men look over them & how they only attract men who disrespect them.(that used to be my complaint as well)

But if we don’t respect ourselves, who will? 

Sis, you cannot demand from others what you don’t give to yourself! In fact I guarantee! If you start respecting yourself a little bit more & covering up all those goodies, men will have no problem respecting you for the princess you are
                             Remember! 
Men see who you are longgg before they hear who you are; so don’t let what they see, detour them away from the beautiful person you are on the inside.

 ⭐️Note: How you treat yourself is how you train others to treat you. 

 ⭐️Note: If you need a little help on what to wear for your next date. How’s about trying something like this? ⬇️ Cute! Yet, it shows you have respect for yourself! 😘                       

                     👠Ladies and GENTS👔                 

                  5. Please Include God!!!

 I know! I know guys! This should be number 1 on the dating tips!! However, I wasn’t writing the blog in chronological order, so cut me some slack!! Okay??

 *Back to the Blog!!*

 The number 1 reason in dating is to “INCLUDE GOD!”

                Why is this the most important? 

Well….I’ll tell you! Although there’s soo many reasons why you should include God when dating, for the sake of time I’ll just list two…

  1. God knows the heart of people.
  2. God sees the big picture.

As humans we sometimes overlook the people God wants to place in our life & think too highly of the people he’s trying to take out of our life…For instance, we’ll look at a persons outer appearance and think to ourselves: “Oh yeah, God this is the one!” 

Yet, when God tells us “No that’s not who I have for you.” We fuss! We fight! We even go against his will; arguing our case with “Limited vision.”As if we really know better than God! 

Meanwhile, God is looking at their heart and saying, “If you marry them, they’re going to hurt you, they’re going to belittle you, they’re going to make you depend on them, rather than me. He or she may be good looking but they’re not right for you! I don’t want you to marry them because instead of helping you walk into your purpose, they will doubt what I’ve placed in you! They won’t love you the way I want you to be loved. Trust me! I know whats best for you! You are mine! And I would rather not give you (what you think you want) & have you angry with me now; Than to give them to you and listen to you cry later.” 

I think it’s time for a good story…

 A little over 2 years ago, there was this man of God I was talking to. He was involved in ministry heavily. He was handsome and very funny! We talked several times on the phone & overall he seemed to be a really great guy! One day as our conversation ended,
The Holy Spirit said… “NO.”

Around that time, I was wondering should I start a relationship with him. So, I knew this was God giving me my answer. Although, I didn’t quite understand why God would say NO to him; (seeing how much he talked about God & preached him) still, trusting God, I let him go…

I never called him or answered any of his texts from that moment on. However, a couple of months later, I came to understand why. 
It was a “Summers Night“, and I’d just walked out of my prayer closet from spending time with The LORD! I was so filled up with joy to the point where, I wanted to do something nice for My Heavenly Father!  
As a result, I said to myself, I’m going to go to the store to make a nice Fathers Card for Jesus & I’ll show it to him in our next prayer time together! 

I get in the car and though it’s pretty late (some time after 12 midnight). I still felt the urge to go. So here I am, at the store, smiling as I check off my to do list; 

when all of a sudden I hear a familiar voice coming from the register beside me…

I turn my head to the left to see who it was and….

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

(Ya’ll know I had to get dramatic right there) 😂 

Any-way..

                          !!!BEHOLD!!!

The man who “GOD said No to” and some woman dressed like a hooker in this same store with me, at almost 1 in the morning!
He looked at me with embarrassment. 
I didn’t say anything. (That would’ve been out of place) Besides, the look on his face said more than enough for the situation. I simply checked out, waved at him & kept going…🚶🏽‍♀️

Now, I have no clue as to why they were out so lateor for that matter why she was half naked! Matter of fact, that’s none of my business that’s God’s.

Nonetheless, I had to share that story with you to make this point…

Sometimes when God tells us “NO.” about someone; we feel like he’s trying to keep this “good” gift from us! But that’s simply not true! God’s no’s are for our protection! Remember Adam and Eve?!? In their situation, the enemy convinced “Eve”that God was withholding something good from her but he wasn’t! He was protecting her!

Guys, if God is telling you to let someone go; do it! Learn from my story above! Trust me! God knows what’s best for you! After all, he did make you! So, I’m pretty sure God knows what you want & don’t wantHe’s not going to make you marry someone who you’re not attracted to or someone you don’t like! He just wants to see if we trust him enough to let go of what we can see to obtain what we can’t see

⭐️Note for the GENTS: You cant get Esther until you let go of Vashti… 

⭐️Note for the Ladies: You can’t get Boaz until Mahlon dies… (figuratively speaking* let any relationship that God has not approved of die!) 


                   👠Ladies and GENTS👔

  6. Believe Their Actions, Not Their Words..

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
                                                         -Maya Angelou

The thing I never quite understood; is why people hang onto relationships that are clearly a waste of time. When my old friends would come to me for advice concerning their issues, I would give them the complete truth. Yet, even after all that “truth” they would still go back to that time wasting relationship & then keep calling me month after month with the same problem
Now I’m no relationship guru! But I do believe in “SIGNS” and “COMMON SENSE.
If someone is giving you the mouth, 🗣

  • You’re important to me.
  • I value you.
  • Nobody else makes me feel like you do. 
  • I want to be with you. 

Yet, their actions are completely different. 

                       ✂️CUT IT OFF✂️

Example: Tyler keeps telling Briana that he hates when she ignores him. Every time they get on the phone to talk, she talks to everyone around her, leaves him on hold (while she does a million other things) & after he’s waited on hold for her; she then hangs up & texts him,”Call Ya Later.” But her call back later usually means 2-3 days later… 

If Tyler was my friend?? Why would I advise him to hold onto that? If he’s communicated this problem to her more than a few times & yet she continues to do this..
She’s making things very clear to him! She is either; Atoo busy for a relationship or Bnot interested in having a relationship with him. 

⭐️Note: Never put more into a relationship than the other person is putting.

⭐️Note: “Unlimited chances” are for (married people) not for someone you just met two weeks ago. 

Another Example

This one is for my Ladies because I see so many women in this situation constantly!!

I know at times you think you can (work) your way into a mans heart by doing “good deeds” but you cant! 
All those texts, calls, checking up on him, cooking meals, washing clothes & trying to get him to see you, is pretty much for nothing. 
In reality this man is not even looking at you as a potential wife. He’s looking at you as a potential second mom…

Sweetheart, no matter how many “nice” things you do for a man; You cannot force your way into his life. If he’s not interested, he’s just not interested! You have to be okay with that! Everyone is not going to like you! And you’re not going to like everybody! 

So, stop overworking yourself to get into a position that doesn’t belong to youThe last thing you need, is a broken heart because you’ve put in years of work; trying to open the eyes of the wrong Adam

⭐️ Note: If someone is showing you they’re not into you. Believe what they’re showing you. Don’t take them ignoring you as some kind of cute “playing hard to get game.” (They actually may not like you.)

Well… there you have it Ladies and GENTS! 

Now…I know Part two to “Getting Back Into the Dating Game.” May not have been your favorite blog of mine, you probably even got cut a little bit…😬 lol…

However, I’ve got to tell y’all the truth! I’m not going to sugar coat these “bad courtships” & tell you, “just go with the flow!” Or “give it some more time.” (After many months have passed) Uhmm…No honey! I want what’s best for you! 

I am tired of men & women not getting the agape & mature love they deserve! I believe in love; & although I’ve never been in love, I think there’s someone out there for everyone! 

I have hopes of walking down the aisle one day  & marrying who God has for me.! You too should have those same hopes! Don’t give up! God already knows how your life is going to play out! 

All you have to do is stay in his will!

Once again, it has been fun talking to you guys!! You know I love y’all so much!

I pray this blog helped you!

Till next time! 

– 💕Takyah Love 💕 

One of the most exciting things about dating is getting to know someone new! 
We have so many questions…

  • What should I do? 
  • How do I talk to them?
  • When should this relationship go to the next level? 
  • Whats their favorite color?
  • How do I know if they’re sincere? 
  • How do I ask them out?  
  • What foods do they like?

And the biggest question of all…

 Is this the One?

Although, I cannot answer all of those questions for you. I do believe that the advice I am about to share with you can help aid you in the dating process and make things just a little bit easier!  
                       Let’s get started
           

                    👠Ladies and GENTS👔

          1. Write your list…and use it! 

    Every single. Male and Female should have a list! Now what’s on that list depends on you. What are some of your deal breakers? What will you tolerate in a relationshipWhat traits would you like to see in the other person? Whatever you want in a future spouse write it down and make it plainI’m telling you if I could give advice to anyone who is dating or thinking about dating this would be numero uno!
                                      Why
    The reason being is, your list helps you to see who’s more suitable for you and who’s not. Let me show you an example: 


        Do not play around with this singles!  
    Make this list as personal and real as it can possibly be! If you’re tallying up the points and you see your new friend has 5 yes’ and 23 no’s I think it would be wise to stop dating them and move on…
                        And another thing!
    Please, do not go sharing everything on your list with the person you’re dating! Although you must ask questions to get to know a person. Use wisdom! I mean, can you imagine? 

    You tell this guy/girl you love fried chicken and waffles and they say,

    “Wow! We have so much in common. That’s my favorite meal too!” 

    Then a month later you find out that they’re allergic to both…

    Now I know that’s a silly example but I’m serious! The one thing you don’t want is someone who’s pretending to be all of those things just to get you (for whatever reason).
             You deserve the real thing. Okay

    So, try to keep most of your list between you and God. 
                     

                                 👔GENTS👔

     2. Plan your Dates from beginning to end.

    Spontaneous dates can be some of the best dates! 

                     Yes! I would have to agree.  

    I don’t know what it is, but it is something exciting to have a man call you and tell you to  “Get ready.” & neither of you have a clue as to where the two of you are going.

    However…….

         (You know I always have a however) 😬

    However, when every date is spontaneous and nothing is planned; it leaves G_A_P_S and room for a lot of unplanned things to happen. And  b_e_l_i_e_v_e  me…the enemy knows how to lead you into temptation; and he doesn’t mind helping you fill ALL those empty gaps you haven’t filled yourself.

    So fellas‘ since I believe that women should be pursued and not pursuing. How’s about taking the lead for a change and plan the dates. Stop all the,”I don’t know….what do you wanna do?🤓 Stuff. Not only is that unwise but it’s kind of annoying. So the next time you ask her out, have the day/evening planned. 

    Even if it’s just the spot where the two of you first met, or this restaurant she’s been talking about for weeks!
    It really doesn’t matter. Just the fact that you took the time out to do anything for her will speak volumes… 

    ⭐️Note for the Gents: If something happens that throws your date off or makes things go slightly different. That’s okay. At least planning ahead gives you some kind of idea of how you want the evening to go.

    ⭐️Note for the Ladies: Pay attention! If every time this man asks you out, its always at the last minute. Sweetheart, that is not him being spontaneous! That’s him giving you the scraps from his leftover day. Do not allow a man to call you up at 9 at night & ask you “Can He roll through?” Men usually put on their best behavior for a woman they really like, so if he’s doing this to you at the very beginning….

    Chile’….He could care less about you… 

    Back to the drawing board we go!!! 🚀

               

                              👠 Ladies 👠

        3.  Guard your Heart & Take things Slow.

    The reason why I am giving this to my ladies and not my men. Is this; 

    Men are wired completely different from us.

    While you’re planning a wedding and picking out baby names, he’s probably thinking 💭 “Yeah she was pretty cool, I guess I’ll go out with her again.” 

    Ladies… please remember to take things slow. Dont try to lead him. Let him, lead you. 
    One of the most embarrassing things is to go around boasting in something that isn’t even established yet!…
    You’ve went out on a few good dates, and all of sudden, you’re smiling ‘wider than Cheshire the cat’ & walking around here praise dancing💃🏽proclaiming: 

    God den’ sent me my Boaz!” 

    Only to see him walking down the aisle 6 months later marrying some other Ruth.  
    Now embarrassingly, you have to call all those same girl friends you’ve boasted to and have an ice-cream pity party. 🍨🙍🏽🙍🏻🙍🏿🍨


                   Wump! Wump! Wump……

    Let me help you sis and give you some of this word! 
    Two things the book of Proverbs tells us to do is number 1 : Guard our hearts. 

    • ⭐️Proverbs 4:23Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

    number 2: Take our time.

    • ⭐️Proverbs 29:20There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

    Don’t be so hasty and quick to tell your family & friends every single thing that goes on in your love life. 
    Not only can being discreet save you from a heap of embarrassment; it can also save you from countless of interrogating questions from your family members. Just in case…this guy doesn’t turn out to be what you thought.
    Besides…what’s the rush anyway?? 

    God’s got you girl

    Well, there you have it Ladies👠& GENTS👔!
    Part one to my blog; “Getting Back Into the Dating Game!”

    I pray you all got something from it!  
    Since this is my first time including the fellas; let me know how I did okay!? Don’t be afraid to leave a comment or inbox me with your comments

    Till next time!!! Bye my Loves! 😘 

    💕Takyah Love💕