Marriage is a beautiful thing…
It’s God ordained,
Filled with purpose,
& a love like no other.
If we ask The Lord, I believe He will help us when it comes to finding our mate, or show us who He has in mind that will best suit the journey ahead.
If God shows you
the one you’re about to marry,
is not “The one”…
Do you risk the embarrassment of calling off the wedding? Or do you just suck it up and make the biggest mistake of your life…
5 years ago,
that was me.
And about to make a HUGE mistake.
In today’s blog, “Marrying Outside of God’s Will.” I want to share my story with you, and in doing so, I pray it helps you with knowing who “The One” is, & who “The One” isn’t.
✨ Before we get started, I just want to say this, “If you are disobedient and set on doing things Your Way and not The Fathers, you may want to exit right now, as you will probably not like this blog. ✨
As I have said from day one, since: “Three Ways to Know if A Man is Heaven Sent or Hell Sent.” I tell the truth, the whole truth and Nothing but the truth!
Now back to the blog!
1. 😓 CONFUSION 😓
The number one sign we all know that God is not in a thing, is the lack of His Presence and Peace.
When God wants something for you, His Peace will follow it, and when He doesn’t want something for you; He will not breathe on it, nor will He give you peace about it.
No matter how many times you beg or ask Him to change his mind; when it comes to His Will being done in the earth, I have known The Lord to be VERY unyielding…
Trust me on this sis/bro…
In December of 2013, my first engagement ring was given to me.
The man that gave it to me didn’t propose, he didn’t get down on one knee, or anything. We simply googled wedding rings one night, ordered two rings and decided; We’re going to get married. Our plan was to elope and have a real wedding later.
Proverbs 19:21– We may make a lot of plans, but the LORD will do what He has decided.
I am not sure what happened or what was attached to that engagement ring, but as soon as I put it on, it felt as if the spirit of The Lord left me.
Although His word says,
Deuteronomy 31:6– He will never leave us nor forsake us;
Still, whenever we discussed marriage, or I tried to wear my engagement ring, it felt as if The Lord did leave.
One time, I was so vexed in my spirit from wearing it, that I took it off & decided not to wear it until the day we got married. (Yes, I was very foolish back then.) Without even getting all deep & spiritual;
in the natural,
I knew this relationship was not God’s best for me! One day we were happy, the next we were upset. Not to mention his insecurities drove me completely up a wall!
Yet, with all his insecurities, anger issues, drug abuse, cheating, manipulative ways & everything else The Lord kept revealing to me ON PURPOSE, (so I could run in the opposite direction); I still proceeded with the wedding.
Two months after being given the ring, we went to meet with The Pastor who was going to marry us. He said if he counseled us for a few hours, we could get our marriage license at a discounted price.
As we sat down to talk with him about basic marital things, it felt as if a spirit of darkness literally came in the room and sat on my head. I couldn’t think straight, I could barely hear what they were saying, and I couldn’t even answer the Pastors questions.
It felt like I was having an out of body experience, almost as if I wasn’t even there. When the Pastor asked me if I was okay, I smiled, but deep down inside, I knew This was not God’s will for my life.
After the meeting, my groom to be set the date for us to be married. Strangely, the Day we picked to get married, fell on April Fools Day…
Y’all don’t even have to say anything..🤦🏽♀️
Even in that, the Lord was showing me, “Your going to be a fool if you get married to this man.”
What makes it even more sad, was the fact I wasn’t even in love with this man. I was simply comfortable and had become used to the routine of being with him.
Since I was not heeding The Lords direction for my life,
The Lord turned things up a notch🔥…
Which brings me to my next point.
2. ⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️
Warning: a statement or event that indicates a possible or impending danger, problem, or other unpleasant situation.
Although I had many warnings prior to these, I’m listing these because they were the ones I could never forget.
1st Warning ⚠️
I remember it just like it was yesterday. I had driven over to my fiancé’s house and told him I would wait there for him until he got off work so we could spend a little time together. He told me he’d left a key for me under the mat so I could let myself in.
I went into the kitchen and began washing dishes. After about 10 minutes I heard a noise. Since no one was in the house with me, I shrugged it off as nothing.
A few moments later, when I looked up from washing the dishes, standing in the kitchen window was a dark figure with long teeth and red eyes. It stood on the other side of the window laughing at me.
I dropped the last plate in the sink and took off running with tears flowing down my eyes. I ran down the hallway into his bedroom and locked the door, (as if that could protect me from a spirit). After I locked the door, I began to pray. It seemed as if it took hours of me crying and praying before the presence of that Demonic spirit finally left.
2nd Warning ⚠️
The second warning was on one of our famous movie nights. On these nights, we would cuddle, talk and find a funny movie to watch.
On this particular night, I remember him running his fingers through my hair. Although I usually looked away & blushed when he did this; this time however, I didn’t. I stared back into his eyes, and as I did, his whole face changed before me.
The same demonic spirit I’d seen weeks prior, was literally the face I was staring at as I looked at my fiance. After seeing this I scooted ALLL the way to the other side of the bed. When he asked me what was wrong? I told him what I saw. He smiled, assured me it was nothing and we continued to watch TV.
3rd Warning ⚠️
This actually was the last night I slept over at his house. I believe this was the Final Warning from God, and it scared the living day out of me.
We fell asleep after watching Martin and while I slept, I was given a dream from an angel of The Lord.
I was standing inside of this big mansion, it was very beautiful, but it was so broken on the inside, the walls were torn down, the curtains were ripped, and there were even trophies that had my name on them lying on the ground. The trophies were cracked and shattered.
In the dream, as I looked around this gloomy mansion, my fiancé appeared before me and his skin began to change, He became frail, thin, and boils started to cover his entire body. Suddenly, worms appeared and began to eat up his flesh until he became a skeleton. As he stretched out his hand toward me, calling my name,
I backed away…
A few feet behind my fiance was a figure standing in the hallway. When I looked closer, it was the same demon I had seen in his house while I was washing dishes! Except this time he wasn’t a shadow; he was in full form. I could see his body, his long fingers and every detail of his face. He was about 10 feet tall!
& just like all the other times,
He stood there…
pointing and laughing at me.
Seeing this, I took off running🏃🏽♀️out of this mansion! Other People were running too! But, they were running in the opposite direction. I didn’t understand it.
Then as I was running, suddenly, three tornadoes 🌪 appeared from out of Heaven. The wind was so strong, I tried to hold onto a pole. All throughout this dream there was a red hat that was on my head, but it kept falling off. It fell off three times but the third time, when I tried to reach out and place it back on my head, I couldn’t! The wind whiffed it away.
Immediately, after the red hat flew away, the ground beneath my feet opened up revealing a fire filled pit.
I looked up to The Heavens and screamed “God why?” “Why are you doing this to me?” (Now, why I shouted that to the top of my lungs? I have no clue because, God wasn’t doing anything to me. My disobedience was causing these things to happen. The Lord was simply showing me the outcome of what being disobedient could cost me in the end.)
*Back to the blog*
As I screamed to the Lord, my fingers slipped from the pole I was holding on to, and I fell into this Fiery 🔥 Pit…
I screamed so loud when I woke up from that dream!
When I woke up, there was an angel standing on my side of the bed. And he said,
“Warning comes before Destruction.”
His hand was on my right arm and when he removed his hand, a glowing handprint was left on my arm. It took a few minutes before the print disappeared.
After the angel left, I turned over to see my fiancé knocked out cold.
I grabbed my bag, my clothes, I didn’t even put my shoes on! I got in my car and left his house at 5 am that morning! I did not speak with him for a whole 2 weeks afterward. I didn’t tell him why or anything. I was too shook up and scared to even think about that dream.
even after ALL OF THAT...
I still was a fool y’all… 🤦🏽♀️😂
Instead of leaving the situation like The Lord wanted me to, I kept trying to fix it. I got a whole list together of things we had to stop doing in order for The Lord to bless our union.
By this time,
I’m pretty sure The Lord wanted to throw a thunderbolt at me, because I was not getting it!
Even with all the confusion, the darkness and the horrible dreams I had, I still tried to fix it! So the Lord was like, “Okay then…Bet! I got something for your disobedient tail!”
Then…these began to happen….
3. WORDS OF CONFIRMATION 🗣
🗣 1st Word:
I was on the phone one night with my friend who was being trained for ministry at the time. (He’s a minister now.) Anywho, as we were on the phone talking about everything that was going on in this relationship, he simply said,
“Takyah that is not who God has for you.”
I thought 💭 Mhmm.. okay. Since he liked me at the time, I completely ignored him and thought his word of confirmation was biased to his own intentions for me.
🗣 2nd Word:
After hearing what my friend said I scheduled a meeting with my First Lady to talk about this man. I wanted her to specifically tell me this was not who God had for me.
It’s like I kept looking for ways to justify this relationship; even though I knew God wanted me out of it. I wanted a sign to confirm it. Sadly, God’s voice was not enough for me back then.
Although she didn’t tell me he wasn’t my spouse, she did however, give me a simple instruction to follow. She said, “Takyah, stop having sex with him and during this time, ask the Lord to reveal to you who he really is.”
She said, “I see where you have tried to leave him before and right when you were done with the relationship he would have sex with you or manipulate you & you would stay.” “Once you stop being intimate with him, and ask The Lord to reveal to you who he is, I believe you’re going to have the answer you seek.”
Once I did what she said, I definitely noticed a difference. For the first time, I’d began to see him for who he truly was, (not who I wanted him to be) & let’s just say, (now that the blinders were starting to come off), I did not like who I saw.
However… because of the soul tie we already formed from sex, and being emotionally connected for over 2 1/2 years, (we were friends for 2 years before we started dating) still, it wasn’t enough to make me leave.
But the next Word of Confirmation was…
🗣 3rd Word:
It was a nice Spring night. I cuddled up in my bed with Napoleon 🐶, got me a glass of crisp cranberry juice & turned my TV to TBN. I prayed to the Lord, worshipped, and I felt so good! 😊
Around 3 a.m. The Holy Spirit shook me awoke. He told me to turn my tv up, so I did.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear.
Right when I turned my TV up this preacher who was preaching, paused from His Message, and began to prophesy,
“I don’t know who you are, but you’re a young lady, you’re in a relationship with a boy, that’s right! He’s not even a man! He was sent by Satan to destroy you, destroy your ministry, and destroy your destiny! The Lord said, if you continue to get married to this man and stay in that mess, in 6 months, you will not even recognize yourself.” “And not only will you not be able to recognize yourself, but in a years timing you will get a divorce.” He continued, “As a matter of fact, you’re watching me on TV right now. I know I don’t know you, but the Lord said, Obey Him and watch what He’ll do in your life.”
After he was done with that brief word, he went back to preaching his message as if what he’d said WAS NO BIG DEAL, meanwhile I’m in shock with my mouth glued to my chest.
That, Ladies and gentleman, was the last nail in the coffin..
Ever since I was a child, I told myself, I am only getting married once. So, it had to be to the right person! I made up my mind that when I got married, I would not get a divorce! The Lord knew I hated divorce, and for a man I don’t even know to prophesy that to me personally through the TV,
Y’all, I was messed up.😳
When I gathered myself, I said, “Okay Lord, I’ll obey.”
One Of The Hardest Days of My Life
The next evening I drove to my fiance’s house, I cooked dinner for him as I had done many times before and once both of us were done eating, his parents came and joined us.
After we finished eating, I opened my mouth & it just came out,
“I cannot marry your son.”
His father’s face went sour, and his mother looked confused. When they questioned “Why?” I told them, “The Lord said If I marry him I will be out of His Will.” His mother jumped up from the table and shook her head, “You can marry whoever you want, God gives us free will!”
I told her, “Although, that may be true for some people, I don’t think The Lord has given me that option.” His Father butted in with his own comments, even mumbling under his breath that I was crazy.
After everyone calmed down a bit, they said,
“Well, we cannot stop you.”
“Do what you think is best.”
I began to cry and so did my fiance. I went into my purse, pulled out my engagement ring and placed it in my fiance’s hand.
I apologized to them all, and I left…
When I tell y’all that was the hardest thing ever!!!
I was soo scared, I wondered, What are they going to think of me? What will his family & friends say about me? Here we are about to get married, and a month before our Wedding, I am leaving the relationship completely.
This is Crazy…
However, once the Lord gave me the strength I needed to finally leave that toxic relationship, I haven’t looked back since.
And the peace that followed obeying God??
Oh my gosh!!!
It was incomparable to anything I’d ever felt before!
I could feel the presence of The Lord stronger than ever and His JOY overtook me. I was happy, smiling again, glowing & felt as if a weight had literally been taken off my shoulders.
My relationship with The Lord was crazy dope! After I got rid of the relationship that was draining me, I began experiencing The Lord’s glory like never before.
Me and “Jesus Chroist!!” literally became two peas in a pod.
Although, I know this blog is kind of long, I must give you one more point…
Then I’ll be done…
4. KNOWING 😔
The thing about dating someone outside of God’s will is this:
You Already Know It..
You know because you have no peace, you know because you’re confused, you know because you feel uneasy when you get around them,
It’s just a knowing in your spirit.
Yet, because of fear you stay with this person anyway…
Whether your fear is stemmed from:
- hating change (so you stay)
- being scared of the outcome if you leave
- hating to start over (because you’ve invested so much into this)
- wondering what people would say if you left
- or something else (bleh, blah. (etc.)
Whatever it is, it’s still FEAR.
I am here to tell you that neither of those fears are bigger than The LORD…
Y’all, I can go on and on with this, but I am done..
I believe I have said everything The Lord wants me to say.
Just know sis/bro that whatever you have to give up for the Lord’s will to be done,
Will be multiplied and given back to you a 100x better than what you gave up.
The months, years, or even decades you have wasted on the wrong person will be restored.
I promise you.
God is not a man that he must lie.
And one more thing…
I promise this is the last thing y’all! 😂
If God gives you someone that is beautiful on the inside as well as the out, someone who prays for you, loves you unconditionally, serves you, caters to you, cherishes you, and cares for you, even when you’re at your worst.
Don’t be stupid.
If you have God’s stamp of approval, His peace, your relationship is blooming, the both of you are growing, and you’re stronger together than you ever were being by yourself.
Don’t mess it up…
*God ordained covenants* are so rare these days, because many people settle in the wilderness before they make it to the promised land..
With that being said,
If you’ve made it to the promised land and you’re with the one who makes your soul jump
and The Lord is in it👀 …
Stay right There sis/bro…
Stay right there…