Purity Check: That’s Not What You want…

Hey ladies!

& gents who always sneak in! πŸ‘€

lol..

Tonight’s blog will be very short.

This blog is dedicated to everyone who’s walking in purity.

I pray that by reading this I can help encourage you to keep on keeping on! ☺️

I don’t know about y’all..

but lately

I have been going through…πŸ˜“

Within the past few days, I literally have been burning in my stomach and craving sex! So much so, to where ignoring my urges have literally brought me to tears.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been praying for my husband lately, (and that’s causing me to think about him more), or if it’s just my body naturally getting tired of waiting.

But,

whatever it is..

I AM ON THE EDGE!!!

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Yesterday,

January 24, 2019; was such a long day.

Although, it was a good day, it was still long.

When I got home from work, I snatched my clothes off, ran me a hot bubble bath πŸ› & slid into the bathtub.

Sitting, soaking, & enjoying my relaxation. I started to think.

I couldn’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve even kissed a man..

March, 2019 will start my 6th year of purity

(Although, I celebrate it every year on May 31st, I was actually walking in purity a few months before I actually dedicated my body to God.)

Anywho,…

Thinking of this,

I became weary…

As I pondered on my husband..

  • Where we would meet?
  • Who is he?
  • How does he look?
  • What’s his favorite food?

(Blah-blah)

Slowly, my mind began to shift from pure and curious, to nasty and naughty. Knowing I could not go there, I jumped out of the tub and began to cast those thoughts down.

Except I forgot one thing..

I had to dry myself off and put lotion on..

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Oh Lord Jesus

Please…

Just let him come through the window right now, I thought.

The thoughts to please my flesh came right back! Except this time, they were much stronger!

As I contemplated doing something I know I’ve been delivered from; I exclaimed to myself, “No Takyah! You can’t do that!” I found the nearest piece of clothing, threw it on, and hopped into bed.

 I spoke in tongues for a few minutes..

For a moment, I seemed to be okay.

But..

just when I thought it was over,

πŸ’₯ Boom!πŸ’₯

A rush of adrenaline, ungodly thoughts and urges hit me all at once.

As I became weak, my hands started to go where I did not want them to go, but before I could do anything,

The Lord called my name…

Takyah.”

I paused for a few seconds and became still. I wanted to ignore Him, go do my thang, and then come back and repent.

Although I was still..

I did not respond.

As I contemplated on what I should do, He called my name again.

Takyah.”

This time more firm.

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I peaked my head from under the covers.

Yes Lord?” πŸ˜”

I was expecting him to say something like, Now you know better than that. But He didn’t.

He simply said,

That is not what you want.”

Pondering what He meant by that, I sat up in my bed. And said, “What Lord?”

And He said it again,

That is not what you want daughter.”

“What you want, is a husband.”

Knowing what He said was so true. I immediately burst into tears😭!

As I was crying, the Lord comforted me and told me that my husband would be here very soon. He then told me to go to sleep.

I am not sure if He put me to sleep or what, (because He has put me to sleep in the past) However, less than a minute later, I was knocked out cold. (It was only 8pm)

So when I woke up today,

I had a revelation of what God meant when He said, “That’s not what you want.”

And this is what I got from it,

Many times, we let our bodies, our minds, our urges, our impatience to wait on God, and everything else control us and force us into doing something we really don’t want to do.

Whether it be, calling an ex, watching pornography, masturbating or all of the above.

I am here to tell you that

THAT

is not what you want..

It’s deeper than that.

You think you want to have sex with your ex, but what you really want is to be loved.

But because you don’t believe that God will give you someone who will truly love you, you settle and keep going back to a toxic relationship.

You think you want to watch pornography, but what you really want is true intimacy.

But because you doubt you’ll ever have that with someone, you create false intimacy and imaginations in your heart and settle for lust & loneliness.

You think you want to masturbate (preaching to myself now), but what you really want, is to feel cherished and safe.

But because you’ve been waiting for sooo longg.. you think God has forgotten about you and instead of waiting for your wedding night (which will be so much more mind blowing), you settle for false fantasies and self gratification that only lasts a few seconds.

Y’all…

Just

Don’t

Do

It!

Don’t bend to your flesh,

Don’t bow to your urges

I know it is EXTREMELY HARD at times not to do…

But I am here with you…

So, tonight I want you to check your heart, ask The Lord to help you with any urges you may have.

He knows we live in a fleshly body, He knows how difficult living the “pure life” can be, he is not far from our human experiences. However, He conquered it all so we could walk in victory just like He did..

You don’t have to pick up the phone and call that toxic person…

You don’t have to go to that website and get bound to pornography again..

Neither do you have to let your hands touch places they shouldn’t…

Y’all it is HARDDDDDD!!! 😭😭😭

But I promise I am here..

And we are in this thing together…

Don’t settle tonight.

or ever in life.

Because once you do,

You’ll realize…

That’s not what you really want..

Love,

🌸 Takyah 🌸

P.S. If You’ve Never Read My book, “Purity over PASSION.” Right Now I’m having a sale on Amazon Kindle and It’s only $2.99! Click The picture below to read a sample! It’s an amazing read!

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8 thoughts on “Purity Check: That’s Not What You want…

  1. I respect your journey and relationship with God. I respect yoir values and your desire to spread them. You make important points about what people really want. But be careful about shaming yourself or others. It’s a fine, and dangerous line. I am not very different from you, I walk a similar path because that is who I am. But I was also brainwashed to fear sex and feel shame about myself by my mother, and it was that which led me to isolation more than anything. You mean well, but you have to be careful. And when you are a mother one day, please don’t give your daughter such strong feelings of shame about her body or desire that she can’t even experience intimacy. While you want to present sex and intimacy as two completely separate things, they are intertwined with each other. I just don’t want any young girls to end up like I did. Deciding to refrain from sex until marriage should never involve feelings of shame or fear, or a rejection and intolerance of who we are and what we need. God loves us and is forgiving and compassionate far beyond our understanding. You also say all this assuming everyone finds the one and marries them. Yet there are many who don’t and who for various reasons lead a solitary life. How compassionate do you think God would be to one who is being tested in with that?

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    1. Sex and intimacy can be the same thing. And they can be two different things as well. Sex can be simply sex, and intimacy can be something as simple as staring into a person’s eyes or being held in someone’s arms without doing anything. So they can be different. And I will never shame my future daughter or make her feel wrong for what her body naturally wants to do. However, because I teach others and this is a mantle the Lord has given me to speak for in a world that’s filled with self gratification and perversion and people who have attitudes that you can just do whatever you want to do. I will give her truth. And God is very loving and compassionate, I never said he wasn’t. There are times when I have missed the mark and His grace covered it up. Yet, how can I teach others and myself be a castaway? How can I preach the gospel and be an advocate for anything if I myself don’t even attempt to live what I preach. The Bible says to flee earthly passions, and fornication and sexual immorality. Which I’m sure pornography and every other perverted thing lines up with it. And there are many who don’t find the one because a lot of different reasons and they’re are some who have not even been chosen for marriage but this blog is not trying to cover all of those various reasons. It is simply covering purity and encouraging people to attempt and strive for holiness. And my stories between me and God are between me and God. This is How he deals with me. And although He’s always compassionate there are times when he’s like β€œCome on daughter you know you could’ve resisted that.” And the Lord has a portion of Grace that He gives to everyone, but for someone who desires marriage, but still has not found the one. I would tell them to keep waiting and trust God because if they desire marriage then that is something The Lord has placed in their heart and He will fulfill his promise to them. He will not place marriage in your heart and leave you lonely. He is not a torturous God. He loves us too much for that. But I hope this answer cleared up some of that for you. I never want anyone to feel shame and condemned but I also know we must attempt to walk Holy. We cannot day we love God and continue to walk in darkness and just do whatever we want to do with our flesh. Lol. Then we would be lying.

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      1. Amen, God is a God of mercy and grace but he gives us power an authority to live holy ! Romans 12:1 I Beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God , that you present your bodies a living sacrifice , holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. #2 And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is the good , an acceptable , and perfect , will of God!!!

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      2. Amen!! @faith Forver πŸ™ŒπŸ½ you are right! We cannot deny the power of God to deliver us just because we don’t want to be delivered or think we can’t be free.

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  2. The Word of God says,If ye abide in me and my Word abides in you ,ask what ye will and it shall come unto you, We as Women of God go through so much as living to keep ourselves pure before God especially when not being Married, only to stay before God and stay abstinent, for 5,6,7,8,9,10,and over years,only to stay in God’s Word as well as walk in The Spirit, Only to conquer these things in the flesh, so thank you ,as I being one at your Virgin celebration, knowing we all as women of God are fighting the flesh, which we’re winners already, yet it doesn’t mean we don’t wrestle with our flesh,yet this is what you are letting us know, so Thank you for sharing this for those of us , actually waiting on God to send our husbands, not to be soiled by a Man we’re not Married to ,rather fight in our single season, only to be that Virgin to our husbands, The Word tells us as unmarried Women, that our body and Spirit is to be Holy unto God,so that means,We are Virgins to our God sent Husbands,God is Glorified!!!!!!!

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    1. Yes I love this!! and amen The Lord makes all things New! But just because he makes us new doesn’t mean we are holier than thou or far above temptation.! We just practice the lifestyle of purity and staying in His word and in His presence will help us while we’re on this journey! And amen! Thanks for coming to read the blog!! ❀️

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  3. Woman of God. Once again you have minstered to me on time. I am believing God for ny spouse yet trying to refrain from sex. This is a good read. Bless you Takyah

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