5 Things The Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal With!

No matter how much men or other women try to make you feel like you’re losing.

If you’re living a lifestyle of purity,

You are winning sis! 

Whether you’re a virgin or a woman who’s dedicated her body back to God, you’re on the right team!

Society makes being celibate seem so ancient; so outdated, but truth never changes. Just because every woman around you seems to be dishing out their goodies and having men by the dozen doesn’t mean they’re winning.

In today’s blog, “5 Things the Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal with.” I will be discussing some of the benefits of why waiting for marriage is both beneficial and necessary.

Let’s dive in!

1. No Confusion

Because I’m waiting until marriage. Confusion rarely hits my life. Now there have been some times when I’ve gotten “a little off” because I thought it would work out with someone and it ended up not working out, but other than that, nothing drastic has happened in my emotional psyche.

When you have sex before marriage, confusion will be your plight. If a man is “putting it down” on you, but is treating you like dirt. The way he makes your body feel will clash with his actual behavior. Sex was designed by God to be a final tie between two souls, it’s the sealing of a covenant promise. Because sex is so powerful, God never intended for it to be used as a trial run. When you have sex with someone, you’re merging together your souls, your wills and your emotions.

Now wonder women who have sex before marriage are always confused and go back and forward with a man, (even after he’s shown his true colors); that’s because, the two of them have intertwined and become one in both the spirit & the natural.

However, if you keep your goodies to yourself, you wont have to worry about any of that!

⭐️NOTE: Think about what you’re joining yourself up with. Ask yourself is this man really worth it?

2. Celibate Women Won’t Get Tricked

Some men come into your life for one thing,

& one thing only.

And that my ladies

is to get a piece of your cookie.

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Now, all men are not like this, however for the ones who are, guess what?

If that’s all he wants, it wont matter anyway because you’re not having sex! Lol. It’s a win, win sis! Usually, men who don’t get what they want will leave anyway.

I’ve had men try me, from the least to the greatest of them. Some of who were rich, fine and even godly… but when they saw I wasn’t going for it, they left.

Instead of being left crying or in a state of “acrimony” because a man used me, I was left shouting and praising God that I kept myself and didn’t fall for the “I’m gonna marry you anyway.” lie. Annoyed woman, stop it

3. No Sex Runs Away the Fakes 

I remember a few years back talking to this man. He had his own business and was a very handsome chocolate 🍫 drop!

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After a couple weeks of flirting, and talking. As we were planning our first date, the sex subject came up and I was very upset!

At the time I didn’t want to tell him I wasn’t having sex until marriage because I really liked this man. And just like I knew telling men this had ran many of them off in the past, I didn’t want to risk losing him too.

But…I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide this forever so, I decided to tell him anyway…

To my surprise the conversation actually turned out okay. In fact, this man said he had a new respect for me. He actually praised me for it!

He told me plainly,

“Look Takyah, I cant lie, I do want to have sex with you but I gotta respect your decision. That’s kind of cool how you’re waiting for your husband, but I cant do it. I wish you the best and I hope whoever marries you knows what he got.”

We talked a few times after that and then he stopped calling. But once again I was happy because I didn’t compromise. We simply stated what we wanted in a relationship and we didn’t match up, and that’s okay!

But guess who left that thing soul tie free???

😁😁This girl!!😁😁

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4. There Is No Mystery To You

My mom always told me that when a man really wants you, you will know.

She said,

A man will come across the world for the woman he loves.

I couldn’t agree more ma! 😉

There was this friend of mine who found herself in a relationship with a man who drove her crazy (in a good way). He catered to her, opened up doors for her, and literally praised the ground she walked on. He came by her house, fixed some broken things and even included her children in their dates a few times.

She was so ecstatic that she wanted to reward him for his kind deeds. I spoke with her and told her,

Sis, if you want to reward a man, there are a million things you can do other than sex, you can buy him this new game he’s been talking about getting for his playstation, you can cook his favorite meal and surprise him with a candle light dinner, or you can buy him a ticket to go see his favorite NBA teamIf you want to reward him, do one of those things! But whatever you do, Do Not Sleep with this man!”

She said she wouldn’t and I was happy to know she was going to take my advice.

One day I stopped by her house to bring her some lasagna I’d made and walking out of the front door was her new man; when I walked in and saw what she had on I was very angry.

There she was with booty shorts on, a tank top and a push up bra. Everything she had to offer was on display.

I told her, “I thought we were going to keep it classy?”

Her excuse was that it was hot outside. Although I knew what she was trying to do, (because I myself am a woman) I simply shook my head, placed the lasagna on the counter and left.

A few weeks later she called me pouting and throwing a tantrum. When I asked her why was she upset? I already knew the answer.. She told me they ended up having sex a few days after I’d come over and now this man stopped returning her calls, and if he did pick up the phone, his excuse for not talking to her was that he was busy.

What she failed to realize was this,

the man she was dating was a business man who was all about investments. After speaking with him a few times myself, I could clearly see that he was truly looking for a wife, he was in his late 30’s and he was tired of dating women and having relationships that never went anywhere.

That’s why when she presented herself as a wife, he treated her like a wife, he was genuinely happy to know he’d finally found a woman worth his time. But when she thought she had this man in the bag and started portraying herself as a sex object, he saw her as a bad investment. She questioned how could he switch just like that? It’s because the mystery of who she was disappeared after sex.

⭐️NOTE: Once you give up your cookie there is nothing left that you can offer or entice a man with.

Withhold your mystery ladies, that’s what keeps a man going and wondering what you’re like. Your diamond is the highest card you can play in this courting game and marriage is a mans highest card. Don’t you dare play your highest card until after he’s played his.

5. You’re Not Blindsided by Lust

Another thing I love about being celibate is that I get to see how much a man really wants me, or… how much he doesn’t.

Either way I benefit!

When you choose to wait, you get to experience love at it’s highest level. The relationship can blossom freely without lust or confusion getting in the way. Plus, you get to see the other person for who they really are.

Sex, as I’ve said it before can make you think that a person is great when in actuality they’re terrible. Because sex releases all these chemicals that makes a woman feel safe and bond with a man, it blurs your perception of how you see him, while on the contrary not having sex makes everything crystal clear 😁!

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I get to see a mans attitude, how he treats me, how he responds to me, if he’s selfish, if he’s mean. I get to see all of that with a clear view and unclouded judgement. Then, once I’ve gotten to know him a little better and seen him for who he really is, I get to decide if I want to be with this man or not.

But, if you give it all away to a man at the very beginning you’ll get to see none of that! Not only will your judgement be cloudy, but you don’t even know if he’s going to stick around to show you anything else about him.

NOTE: Sex is not the cake 🍰

It’s simply the icing on what the two of you have built through communication, prayer, love, support and respect. If the two of you have built something like that, then sex after marriage is only going to enhance that love! But if you’ve built your relationship on sex, compromise, lust and sin, then your foundation for marriage will be rocky.

That’s of course if the two of you even get married..

but that’s none of my business

But-Thats-None-Of-My-Business

I’m simply here to share with you why being Celibate trumps Sex before marriage!

Hope you could take something from this!

As always, love you ladies and Gents who snuck in! (lol)

Until next time!

Love,

Takyah Love

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31 thoughts on “5 Things The Celibate Woman Doesn’t Have to Deal With!

  1. Ms. Love this was amazing. I am a guy and what you said about investments is very true, of course we’ll take the free sex if it’s given but that’s ultimately not what we want. It’s crazy how much you know at such a young age! I’m still waiting on the marriage blog for men as well! 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rashad!! ☺️ and I’m going to go back to marriage in the month of June! I stopped the marriage Topics to focus on Purity for the month of May! But after this month is over I will resume! 😉❤️

      Like

  2. Yes! This is so counter-cultural but so wonderful. Great job preaching this message loud and clear!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much dear and yes I try to very clear on my messages! Lol But I am glad you enjoyed it! ☺️

      Like

  3. As a celibate woman myself in a relationship all I can say is I LOVE THIS POST! You couldn’t have written this better! You are so right! Thank you for sharing. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much love!!! And I am so happy you enjoyed the blog!! ❤️☺️😘

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Mommyrosebuds and commented:
    Hey Guys,
    So I happened to stumble upon this amazing writer Takya Love, who gives some fantastic advice about being celibate. This post in particular not only talks about the positivity that comes out of being celibate. But she also gives a back story about a friend and her struggles after seeming to find a good man then having sex…..

    I think it’s fair to say not everyone can handle being celibate, I personally don’t enjoy it at all. Nevertheless, reading this has definitely given me the kick I needed to move forward and remember why I made this commitment to wait.

    Please have a read and follow the writer!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing!!! And yes it is hard sis! Lol but it is so worth it in the end!! Thanks again for all the love and support!! ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure! You just keep it up- there’s more girls out there like us that could do with reading your work ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  5. iyetundeadeyemi June 12, 2018 — 2:30 pm

    I love this post 😍😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

  6. iyetundeadeyemi June 12, 2018 — 2:31 pm

    Reblogged this on Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and commented:
    This is an amazing piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thanks so much dear!! And thanks for the Re-Blog!! ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I am afraid I have lots of doubts about your post. You are saying that we girls should stay virgins till we get married. Yep, I do agree with you. Premarital sex is bad. I don’t think having sex with two men in one life is a good idea. Being celibate means only refraining from sex with men? Is it cool if we try something which gives immense bodily pleasure? The central idea of your post is not to have sex with men. I wonder whether I can satisfy my uncontrollable carnal pleasures. I totally liked your post. A girl is more like a thriller movie if you watch it once, then you won’t feel like watching it another time.

    Like

    1. Hi, love! And it’s more than staying a Virgin, purity is so much deeper than that to me, it’s a lifestyle, how can I judge others about their sexual relations with men if I’m watching pornography and touching myself every night? That’s not really the idea of purity to me. It’s staying away from anything that will stagnate our relationship with Christ or any sin that would try to weigh us down with self-guilt. No urges are totally normal, and that’s what Grace is for. However I can’t just go do everything but have sex and keep claiming God’s grace lol. I would be a hypocrite. So for me, I try to stay away from all of it. And keep my eyes focused on The Lord and his plans for my life.

      Like

    2. I pray this answered your question some love? 😌❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I got to know that I can’t delete my comment once I make it. Cheers, anyway. I have ginormous respect for the girls who wait until marriage. Keet it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t know if there’s God. I am sorta agnostic. Living with self-guilt is detrimental to our mental health. I think Celibacy is a science which tells us to stay away from the things which make us feel enervated. If we watch porn and touch ourselves, we will lose vital fluids. We would waste a lot of time doing anything which isn’t worth at all. It takes much food and time to produce those fluids in our body again. But, if we don’t indulge in such activities, we won’t lose anything at all and we won’t feel guilty. It’s clever to be a celibate as long as we can. Even if we do it in moderation, then it won’t a problem. But, only after marriage.

    Like

    1. Okay, well if you ever want to know if He’s real or not. All you have to do is ask Him to reveal himself to you and He will. He loves each and everyone of us so much.! ❤️ and honestly it’s so hard for me not to believe in Him seeing as how we’re living on a Earth 🌏 that’s literally spinning in the middle of nowhere. Lol. So I find it hard to doubt Him. And after having a relationship with Him and seeing how much he loves me and how much he did just to make sure I was set free and living the best life possible. I just, I can’t go back to the way I was before my life is so happy, and so much different. But I enjoyed talking with you! 😁 you should send me a request on Facebook! Takyah Love! So I can friend you back! Hope you have a great rest of your day.

      Like

  10. I 💯 percent agree with everything and I mean everything you’ve talked about in this article!!!! I to am celibate which is why I can agree with everything that you’ve said.. this was well put!!! Thank you for this I will be re-blogging

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thanks love!!! And girl it can be s little difficult in this day and time, but we are well worth the wait!! ❤️😍 so happy to meet another Celibate sista!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes that’s how I look at it. We are worth the wait ✊🏾

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I am a man and this is refreshing… A woman of such virtue… you are worth the wait… beautiful you are and wonderfully made…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thank you so much!!! ☺️ and I am so glad you came to read the blog!! I always enjoy hearing from men’s point of view!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. your welcome… it was my pleasure

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I like this, this is the truth and Life

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading!! ❤️

      Like

  13. How do you overcome the fear of rejection? Sex is often described as a need by singletons, and the fear is losing a good man who didn’t want to wait… Or is there no such thing? All good men want to wait? Also other fears, like would a man wait for one girl considering her as marriage material while getting his sexual needs met elsewhere? And if one never finds out, he may seem like the good guy who waited? Isn’t life gray and not so black and white? I really want to understand and be realistic about this issue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You overcome the fear of rejection because you start by not approaching men in the first place. So if men always approach you and ask you out there is not fear. Because you’re not putting yourself out there as needy or desperate for a mate. So only the men who are interested should step to you. Secondly, after they step to you and find out you’re celibate or a Virgin, the decision to keep pursuing is on them. If they reject that lifestyle and want to keep sleeping around with other women. Then u let them go. They are not worth your time or effort. There are plenty of men who are willing to wait for the woman they really want to be with. Look at heather Lindsey’s husband and Meagan Goods husband who had been celibate for 13 years while she had only been celibate for 8 months when they met. He has countless of offers and women chase him. But he made it up in his mind he wanted to live right for The Lord. No all good men do not wait, but you have good men that will wait for the woman they deem worth the wait. So if he’s not willing to wait and you’ve said told him that’s the life you want to live until your married, then you have to ask yourself (Is this really who God has for me) because God will never force you to compromise your standards just for mate.

      Like

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