The Independent Fool

If only they knew how foolish they sound..

Those were my exact thoughts 💭 as I heard such terrible ignorance from a group of women all over the age of 30. I thought to myself, How could one be so Beautiful, so Successful and so very FOOLISH, all at the same time?

I could clearly see, this was not the kind of woman I wanted to be. I’ve always been taught independence is a beautiful thing and how (you don’t need a man for this and that). However,  the more I listened to this group of (independent women) I began to see quite a different picture. Very different from the one I’d been painted all these years. Then, that’s when it hit me!

An independent woman is a foolish woman.

Now before you go all, “Oh no she didn’t! I love being independent” on me. Just hold your horses sis! Let me explain in my new blog, The Independent Fool on why being too independent is indeed a foolish thing to do.

Alright ladies y’all are gonna’ have to buckle up for this one!

1.👠 She has an unbalanced life 👠

Independent: not influenced by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc. (2) not subject to another’s authority (3) not influenced by the thought or action of others: (4) rejecting others aid or support.

The number one thing I noticed in a woman who’s too independent. Is that she has an unbalanced life. She’s hard, she’s lost some of her femininity, she’s selfish, vain, does her own thing whenever she wants to and brags about how she doesn’t take *bull—— from a man! Her money and body looks good but her heart is rotten to the core.

From her emotions to her very being; this independent woman, is all over the place! Sadly, while doing all those “No men 🙅🏼 protest!” She’s actually missing out! The simple fact is:

⭐️NOTE: Men balance our lives. Sis, without a man. This world would be a hot funky mess!

I am a woman, and I know us. Sometimes we can be “chatty, vain, fearful, mean, arrogant, gossipy and so many other things.” Men bring balance to our crazy emotional roller coasters! Most times, to evaluate our response to any given situation, we use our emotions. While men, on the other hand use their heads.

If we can’t be influenced by a wise man’s opinion, (always thinking we know best) we can find ourselves unbalanced and very emotionalRemember Job’s wife? She looked at everything that happened to Job and judged the situation using her emotions. Job on the other hand used his head. He reasoned that God was still God no matter what they were going through.

  • Job 2:7– So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. (8)Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.(9) His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” (10) He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

She is not the first woman to be led by her own emotions & thoughts. Think about Eve and Sarah! Both of them were led by their own emotions and because their husbands listened to them (at a time they should’ve been putting their foot down). They all went through more trouble than they should’ve.

Now, I don’t know about you; but when I start acting up or getting over the top emotional, it’s nothing like hearing a man say, Alright now! Go in there and calm all that down.And guess what? 

I’ll calm my lil’ self right on back down. 😂

Sis, without a man in your life, to help you establish order. (whether he’s a friend, a father or a husband). Your life will undoubtedly be unbalanced. There is something about hearing the wisdom from (a God-fearing man) that brings peace to all those little storms we have every now & again!

 2.👠 She’s Not Being Cultivated 👠

• Genesis 2:15- The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

• Genesis 2:22- Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (23) The man said, “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

• Genesis 3:20- Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

Since the beginning of time God has created men to improve their environment, to name what they wanted it to be and to cultivate it to their liking. They were made to plant the seeds they want to see. We on the other hand, were made to nurture and help expand what they’ve already planted. Godly men, who’ve established their identity in Christ, can sometimes see things in us that we ourselves, would not have been able to see.

⭐️NOTE: Men have a natural gift to improve who we are.

“I don’t need to improve! I’m fine just the way I am!”

Okay, Ms. Fine Just the way I am!
With that kind of attitude you’re not hurting anyone but yourself! Earlier this year, after I preached a message entitled, “Suddenly.” this godly man called me to speak with me after the sermon and in one conversation this man spoke things into my life, I simply couldn’t see at the time.

After that conversation, I felt empowered to become a better me! I was like, “Really? You see all that? In me?”

However, because of the seeds he planted in my life that day, I just finished my first book, Purity Over Passion.I started other endeavors (which I’ll tell you more about later) and I simply felt a push to become the woman he said he saw in me!

        Ladies, that’s what a good man does!

They cultivate and bring out the woman God called you to be! They improve you! If you noticed, in the scripture above, Adam called Eve, “Eve” before she even became the mother of all living. He said, I see what you’re going to become, therefore I’m going to name you, according to the destiny I see in you! He spoke to who she would be in her destiny, rather than the deceiver she had portrayed in the previous moment.

I’ve had men come into my life and say the smallest of things. Still, those little nuggets they gave me impacted my life and molded me into the woman I am today.
A man can see great things in you that need to be brought out of you but if you don’t let him cultivate you (because of your pride) you’ll never know the kind of woman you really could become!

⭐️NOW LET’S GET SOME THINGS CLEAR⭐️

I am not speaking about a man coming into your life and getting you off track by having you do a million things, you know good and well, God ain’t told you to doNeither, am I speaking about the man who comes and tries to completely change you!

He doesn’t like your weight, your hair, your personality, your ambition, your smile nothing! He wants you to be a dead door knob of a woman, who has no identity and simply does whatever comes to his mind,

all because, 

                          HE’S THE MAN!!!! 

No ma’am sis! 

I am not referring to such an immature, childish boy, who’s got a controlling demon!
I am speaking about a real, God-fearing, gentle, strong man! who can bring out the best in you and plant seeds that can produce gardens of fruit in your life, for you and him to enjoy!

3. She Will Grow Old Alone

Saying things like,

I don’t need a man!”

I can do bad all by myself!

I can do anything he can do!”

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Is a guarantee you won’t get a man!

If you don’t respect marriage and have a spirit that keeps (dis-honoring men), why would God give you one of his sons that he loves?

    So you can run him to the top of the roof??

  • Proverbs 21:9- It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman.

God is protective of his sons just like he is his daughters. Unlike all those movies that show a man constantly chasing after a woman (even after she’s talked down to him and treated him like he’s nothing).

In the real world, a man will not pursue a woman who blatantly disrespects him. I don’t care what movie or soap opera led you to believe such nonsense.

⭐️NOTE: When a man feels he is disrespected, he will go and find another woman that makes him feel respected. 

Not only that. But the Bible says you have whatsoever you say!

  • ⭐️Proverbs 18:21- The power of the tongue is life and death— those who love to talk will eat what it produces.

If you’re speaking;

Lord, I’m fine with it being you and me! 

I don’t wanna get married! 

Don’t start asking the Lord when you get tired of being single, “Where your husband at?”

God’s gonna be like: “But I thought you said, you didn’t wanna get married?” 🤔

Sis, don’t speak foolishly or pray bitter prayers to The Lord, just because you got hurt in the past!

Also, don’t make the good man, (God is trying to place in your life) pay for what Scrubby Scrappy did to you 3 years ago!

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⭐️NOTE: Every man is different!

Let that bitterness go and accept who God has for you! Don’t let your need to “feel like a boss” make you miss out on being with a boss.

Those women who I sat down to talk to, were really crying out for love and to be cared for by a man. They just didn’t want to come out and say it! For some reason, they felt they had to be strong! 💪🏽

Sis please…open up your eyes.

If God wanted us to be that independent and strong! He would’ve made us first, instead of the man. But, he didn’t! The Bible says we are the weaker vessel. So accept it!

Embrace who God created you to be! I know I have! Y’all don’t see me out here trying to compete with a man or comparing myself to one! That’s because, I’m too busy enjoying my femininity!

I don’t have time to be out here trying to prove I can do what a man can do! That’s foolishness! God didn’t create me to do what a man can do! He created me to do what only a woman can do!

Honey please, I LOVE BEING A WOMAN! It ain’t nothing like it! Even the simple things like buying that cute dress or getting my toes painted makes me feel so good!

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My pedicure! 😉💅🏽

I don’t know about y’all, but honey I enjoy being fabulous and feminine! Being the weaker vessel doesn’t mean “weak” as in we can’t do anything without a man. It simply means, when God gives us a man to protect us and rule over us,

(I know that line just made your flesh crawl)

Sorry sis, it’s scripture! 😂

Anyway.. when God gives us that man, we won’t rebel, we’ll submit to the authority he’s placed over us! We understand our role as a wife and we act accordingly! We’re not trying to wear the pants👖in the relationship! Because the man God gave us, wears them just fine!

I want to end on this note:

In my opinion, being independent, is not something I think “we” (as women) should strive for. The end of those women usually ends terrible, with a smelly living room full of cats.
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Partial independence is what every woman should strive for! Being partially independent means you’re a woman who’s got,

• her own stuff,

• you’re occupying till God comes

• you’re focusing on the things of God, as a single woman should be doing!

However, when God sends you that man that’s going to love you and protect you, you won’t fight the submission! You willingly submit to the next season in your life and start building with your God given husband. You acknowledge him as the head and build him up so that he can be strong for you and the family you will create together.

You’re not so occupied with your career or establishing your own ministry, that you miss out on building a legacy with the man God gave you.! Being partially independent means, you won’t go into marriage with an “independent mindset” because you understand the season for proclaiming independence is over! Instead of things being All About You, Now it’s all about US! Starting with:

1. The Lord

2. Your husband

3. Your children

4. The family’s legacy (what God, you & your hubby have built together to leave behind)

5. Then your *extra aspirations or career

In that order.

I probably just made your flesh crawl…again.

Sorry…not sorry! 😬

Okay ladies..

That’s all for tonight!

Please don’t unsubscribe from my blog!🤧

I know I was kind of tough on y’all today! But as always, I’m looking out for y’all! I truly want you to receive the best life God has for you! And if He’s got marriage in your future!

You have got to stop with all that “independent, feminist” stuff, that’s literally being pushed by a lesbian spirit.

Sorry…I’m trying not to get deep, but I’m so forreal!

Cut out all that foolishness!

Chile’… when God tells me it’s time for me to navigate to the next season in my life, y’all better believe, I’ma fly out this season quicker than you can say flash!

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Don’t worry! I’ll be sure to send all my single girls, post cards 📬 from the honey moon! 😂

I’m trying to tell ya’…

Y’all can play with that independent stuff if you want to! But I ain’t messing with it!

Okay, it’s getting late! 💤

I’m starting to act silly!

Love you girls!

Until next time!

Xoxo,

🌸Takyah Love🌸

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