Discerning Between A Friend & A Foe. 

Finding friends in today’s society can seem very hard. Trust me! I’ve been praying to God for almost 4 years now to send me a best friend!

I imagine this friend to be a woman I could talk to about anything, pray with, fast with, go shopping with, tell my deepest thoughts to & someone I could trust. 

The only problem is, when you’ve been alone for so long. (like I have) It can become difficult to discern who’s legit and who’s not.

In today’s blog, “Discerning Between a Friend and a Foe.” I want to help you discern between a true friend & a person who’s simply posing as one.

Let’s jump right into it!

Characteristics of a FOE: 

Foe: a person who feels enmity, hatred, or malice toward another; enemy: a thing that is harmful to or destructive of something.

A while ago there was this lady who told me she was “sent” to be my friend; because I was going through such a vulnerable time, I allowed this person to come into my life, without running it by God. *big mistake*

⭐️NOTE: watch people closely who say “they’re sent to be in your life” its true that people are sent; but WHO sent them is the real question.

Before I knew it, her problems became my problems. I was helping her out, doing what I could to make sure she was okay. Basically, I’d become her “go to girl! Which was fine! That’s what friends are for! Right? 

However, when she no longer needed me, she threw me to the curb, stopped calling me, stopped hanging out with me and to top it off, disclosed everything we’d talked about in secret to other people. I was hurt greatly but I definitely learned my lesson!

Here’s what I learned:

  • A Foe will always come into your life and bring drama with them. (If someone comes into your life & it seems all Hell is coming with them, ask God if you should get involved. If he doesn’t respond, pray for them & send them on their merry way! Do not mistake God’s silence as his way of saying “yes” to helping them. You cannot help everybody sis!) 
  • A Foe will use you & throw you away like a used napkin. (Ask yourself, am I always helping them? Am I always giving out to them? If so, try saying “NO.” a few times & see if they’ll stick around. If not, *pat yourself on the back 👏🏽, you just exposed them for who they really are.) 
  • Do they talk about everyone else in their life, and then go play victim? (If they can’t keep their mouths off of the very people they claim they love, then what do you think they’re going to say about you once their done using you? Remember sis, God doesn’t deal in gossip or mess. Be very careful of someone who keeps their mouths on others.)

  • A Foe will not support you. (Watch their faces when you speak about your dreams or accomplishments. Do they smile & support you? Or do they get really quiet and never respond. Watch that sis! One thing I’ve learned, is that jealousy is hard to hide.)
  • A Foe is on a mission to distract & destroy. (What is the purpose of this new friendship? Are they helping you become a better you? Are they pushing you closer to your destiny? Or are they being used as a distraction by the enemy, to get you off course? Find out what they’re here for! And find out quick! If they’re not helping you, chances are they’re hurting you.)

⭐️NOTE: Do not allow people to just waltz into your life without any explanation of why they’re there.

  • A Foe will compete with you. (Instead of being happy for you they will compete with everything you do.) 

Let me give you an example: 

Tina: Hey, Clarice! I have to speak somewhere and I really want you to be there! You think you can come?

Clarice: Yes girl! I’ll be there! (But instead of them showing up, they make up an excuse) 

Scenario #2

Tina: Girl you see this new phone I got! Isn’t it cute?

Clarice: Doesn’t say anything. She simply goes out the next day & buys the same phone. Then shows it to Tina.

Scenario #3

Tina: I think God wants me to write a book!

Clarice: Yeah, he told me the same thing! I’m about to write one too!

Ladies, You get the picture! Foe’s constantly compete with you! They don’t know how to be happy for you because they’re not happy with themselves or their own lives!

Real friends do not compete, they complete each other! We all have different purposes & different destinies. As a friend, It is my job to encourage and help my friends reach their destination! There is no competition in the kingdom of God or a God-ordained relationship.

Characteristics of a FRIEND:

Friend: a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard: a person who is not hostile.

  • Friends pour into each other selflessly. (They do it without wanting something in return.)
  • Friends tell the truth. (They would never lie on you or lie to you.) 
  • Friends are there when you’re up and when you’re down. When people praise you & when they curse you. (If they’re happy when you have a downfall. Or if they can never celebrate with your accomplishments, check them. Real friends don’t do that.)

⭐️Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

  •  Friends support you. (Not just in word but in deed. If you have endeavors and this person who claims to be your friend never shows up to support you. Something is wrong.) 
  • Friends are honest. (There is a difference between honesty & being rude. If they always have negative things to say. Pay attention. Are they really being honest? Or are they spewing out hate in subtle ways.) 
  • Friends will never sabotage your life. (If something good comes are they always speaking against it? You’ve recently met this great man and your friend is constantly speaking against him, because there’s no one in her life. Or maybe, you just started a new project and your friend is telling you to do something else because to her “that’s not for you.”) 

⭐️ NOTE: Foe’s love to sabotage your life and dress it up like “they’re concerned.” Be watchful of that spirit sis! 

It’s one thing, for a friend to give you honest counsel and tell you maybe it’s not the right time for that or to wait on God.
However, if they’re constantly downplaying everything you set your mind to do! Chances are, they’re not a friend!

If God tells you to do something, do it sis! Real friends understand the call that God placed on your life.

They will never dishonor you or try to control who God created you to be!

Okay, that’s all for today ladies! 

Comment if you could relate to this blog or if it helped you out

Until next time my loves! 😘

I pray you all have a wonderful September🍂

Also, if you haven’t seen my new video on YouTube! Here’s the link:


  1. Three things I’ve (finally) learned about friendship in my 48 years…
    1. Most people are in your life for a reason and a season. Recognize the reason, even if it is for hard lessons learned, and be able to graciously let the season end.
    2. People will tell you what you want to hear, but they will show you in time who they really are. Believe them when they do!
    3. If someone wants to walk out of your life…LET THEM GO!

    Good writing Takyah Love!

    Liked by 1 person

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