Hey Ladies and Gents! I hope you all enjoyed part one to “Getting Back Into The Dating Game!” Don’t forget to comment & share the blog with your friends! Let’s get started!
4. Cover it Up!
There was this time in my life, when I used to let it all hang out! I’m sure you girls remember that horrible selfie I posted in “Beauty from Within…” a couple of months ago.
Honay,… honayy! I knew I had a nice curvy body & I would go parading 🎊 those lil hips of mine all over the place!!!
(That was before I really knew Jesus)
As I constantly kept showing off “what my mama gave me.” I noticed something. The clothes I thought, would finally get a man to love me, only got men to lust after me. I was using my body as bait, yet never catching any fish!
Man after man! They all wanted to sleep with me! They would pretend to be my friend long enough for them to spring the sex question up and when I told them “I’m practicing abstinence.” They would laugh at me as if I was lying.
The problem was, I was a good girl, trying to use bad girl tips. Which kept producing: bad girl results! One Sunday afternoon, (after I’d start attending church) the First Lady pulled me aside & said this:
⭐️⭐️⭐️”Wear your clothes tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.“⭐️⭐️⭐️
What she was telling me was this; there is nothing wrong with cute shirts, jeans, dresses or heels! However, when you go out, make sure you dress to represent our daddy! (God). It’s still possible to dress fashionably, without looking like you don’t have class.
For instance , all of these outfits are “No Go’s!”
Wearing outfits like this ⬆️ will not only misrepresent God; in addition they will also make you appear as if you’re a bedroom woman.
I’ve heard many women complain about how all the good men look over them & how they only attract men who disrespect them.(that used to be my complaint as well)
But if we don’t respect ourselves, who will?
Sis, you cannot demand from others what you don’t give to yourself! In fact I guarantee! If you start respecting yourself a little bit more & covering up all those goodies, men will have no problem respecting you for the princess you are!
Men see who you are longgg before they hear who you are; so don’t let what they see, detour them away from the beautiful person you are on the inside.
⭐️Note: How you treat yourself is how you train others to treat you.
👠Ladies and GENTS👔
5. Please Include God!!!
I know! I know guys! This should be number 1 on the dating tips!! However, I wasn’t writing the blog in chronological order, so cut me some slack!! Okay??
*Back to the Blog!!*
The number 1 reason in dating is to “INCLUDE GOD!”
Why is this the most important?
Well….I’ll tell you! Although there’s soo many reasons why you should include God when dating, for the sake of time I’ll just list two…
- God knows the heart of people.
- God sees the big picture.
As humans we sometimes overlook the people God wants to place in our life & think too highly of the people he’s trying to take out of our life…For instance, we’ll look at a persons outer appearance and think to ourselves: “Oh yeah, God this is the one!”
Yet, when God tells us “No that’s not who I have for you.” We fuss! We fight! We even go against his will; arguing our case with “Limited vision.”As if we really know better than God!
Meanwhile, God is looking at their heart and saying, “If you marry them, they’re going to hurt you, they’re going to belittle you, they’re going to make you depend on them, rather than me. He or she may be good looking but they’re not right for you! I don’t want you to marry them because instead of helping you walk into your purpose, they will doubt what I’ve placed in you! They won’t love you the way I want you to be loved. Trust me! I know whats best for you! You are mine! And I would rather not give you (what you think you want) & have you angry with me now; Than to give them to you and listen to you cry later.”
I think it’s time for a good story…
A little over 2 years ago, there was this man of God I was talking to. He was involved in ministry heavily. He was handsome and very funny! We talked several times on the phone & overall he seemed to be a really great guy! One day as our conversation ended,
The Holy Spirit said… “NO.”
Around that time, I was wondering should I start a relationship with him. So, I knew this was God giving me my answer. Although, I didn’t quite understand why God would say NO to him; (seeing how much he talked about God & preached him) still, trusting God, I let him go…
I never called him or answered any of his texts from that moment on. However, a couple of months later, I came to understand why.
It was a “Summers Night“, and I’d just walked out of my prayer closet from spending time with The LORD! I was so filled up with joy to the point where, I wanted to do something nice for My Heavenly Father!
As a result, I said to myself, I’m going to go to the store to make a nice Fathers Card for Jesus & I’ll show it to him in our next prayer time together!
I get in the car and though it’s pretty late (some time after 12 midnight). I still felt the urge to go. So here I am, at the store, smiling as I check off my to do list;
when all of a sudden I hear a familiar voice coming from the register beside me…
I turn my head to the left to see who it was and….
(Ya’ll know I had to get dramatic right there) 😂
The man who “GOD said No to” and some woman dressed like a hooker in this same store with me, at almost 1 in the morning!
He looked at me with embarrassment.
I didn’t say anything. (That would’ve been out of place) Besides, the look on his face said more than enough for the situation. I simply checked out, waved at him & kept going…🚶🏽♀️
Now, I have no clue as to why they were out so late! or for that matter why she was half naked! Matter of fact, that’s none of my business that’s God’s.
Nonetheless, I had to share that story with you to make this point…
Sometimes when God tells us “NO.” about someone; we feel like he’s trying to keep this “good” gift from us! But that’s simply not true! God’s no’s are for our protection! Remember Adam and Eve?!? In their situation, the enemy convinced “Eve”that God was withholding something good from her but he wasn’t! He was protecting her!
Guys, if God is telling you to let someone go; do it! Learn from my story above! Trust me! God knows what’s best for you! After all, he did make you! So, I’m pretty sure God knows what you want & don’t want! He’s not going to make you marry someone who you’re not attracted to or someone you don’t like! He just wants to see if we trust him enough to let go of what we can see to obtain what we can’t see…
⭐️Note for the GENTS: You cant get Esther until you let go of Vashti…
⭐️Note for the Ladies: You can’t get Boaz until Mahlon dies… (figuratively speaking* let any relationship that God has not approved of die!)
👠Ladies and GENTS👔
6. Believe Their Actions, Not Their Words..
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
The thing I never quite understood; is why people hang onto relationships that are clearly a waste of time. When my old friends would come to me for advice concerning their issues, I would give them the complete truth. Yet, even after all that “truth” they would still go back to that time wasting relationship & then keep calling me month after month with the same problem!
Now I’m no relationship guru! But I do believe in “SIGNS” and “COMMON SENSE.”
If someone is giving you the mouth, 🗣
- You’re important to me.
- I value you.
- Nobody else makes me feel like you do.
- I want to be with you.
Yet, their actions are completely different.
✂️CUT IT OFF✂️
Example: Tyler keeps telling Briana that he hates when she ignores him. Every time they get on the phone to talk, she talks to everyone around her, leaves him on hold (while she does a million other things) & after he’s waited on hold for her; she then hangs up & texts him,”Call Ya Later.” But her call back later usually means 2-3 days later…
If Tyler was my friend?? Why would I advise him to hold onto that? If he’s communicated this problem to her more than a few times & yet she continues to do this..
She’s making things very clear to him! She is either; A. too busy for a relationship or B. not interested in having a relationship with him.
⭐️Note: Never put more into a relationship than the other person is putting.
⭐️Note: “Unlimited chances” are for (married people) not for someone you just met two weeks ago.
This one is for my Ladies because I see so many women in this situation constantly!!
I know at times you think you can (work) your way into a mans heart by doing “good deeds” but you cant!
All those texts, calls, checking up on him, cooking meals, washing clothes & trying to get him to see you, is pretty much for nothing.
In reality this man is not even looking at you as a potential wife. He’s looking at you as a potential second mom…
Sweetheart, no matter how many “nice” things you do for a man; You cannot force your way into his life. If he’s not interested, he’s just not interested! You have to be okay with that! Everyone is not going to like you! And you’re not going to like everybody!
So, stop overworking yourself to get into a position that doesn’t belong to you. The last thing you need, is a broken heart because you’ve put in years of work; trying to open the eyes of the wrong Adam…
⭐️ Note: If someone is showing you they’re not into you. Believe what they’re showing you. Don’t take them ignoring you as some kind of cute “playing hard to get game.” (They actually may not like you.)
Well… there you have it Ladies and GENTS!
Now…I know Part two to “Getting Back Into the Dating Game.” May not have been your favorite blog of mine, you probably even got cut a little bit…😬 lol…
However, I’ve got to tell y’all the truth! I’m not going to sugar coat these “bad courtships” & tell you, “just go with the flow!” Or “give it some more time.” (After many months have passed) Uhmm…No honey! I want what’s best for you!
I am tired of men & women not getting the agape & mature love they deserve! I believe in love; & although I’ve never been in love, I think there’s someone out there for everyone!
I have hopes of walking down the aisle one day & marrying who God has for me.! You too should have those same hopes! Don’t give up! God already knows how your life is going to play out!
All you have to do is stay in his will!
Once again, it has been fun talking to you guys!! You know I love y’all so much!
I pray this blog helped you!
Till next time!
– 💕Takyah Love 💕