Its amazing to see and hear some of the explanations that women give just to hold onto a man. Even when all the signs are telling you he’s not the one. I’ve counseled women, went into debates (not purposely) and even had to slap a few of my “Christian Sistas” back into reality when it came to dating a man!
Through their personal experiences I have witnessed, “bad break-ups, Love stories that quickly went sour, and the situations I grieve the most…My Sista’s who fall into sin because this time the devil came talking the bible and wearing a church suit.. So, before you get all “lovey dovey“ and “I’s fina get married now!” I want to share with you, Three Ways to Know if a Man is “Heaven” sent or“HELL” sent!
1. Hell sent: “Confusion”
Confusion: chaos; lack of clearness; a disturbed mental state.
Any relationship that confuses you is not of God! One of the many promises that we, as children of God, have a right to obtain is peace! So, why in Heaven,…. would “GOD“(our loving daddy) send us a mate who is just downright confusing???
Let me show you what I mean…
- His mood is ALWAYS changing: *meaning he’s very unstable and incapable of running a family.
- You feel no peace when you’re with him
- He’s confuses you about what he wants in a relationship: *one day he’s speaking marriage and the next, he pretends as if he doesn’t even know you.
- You break up and make-up: *although we understand that relationships are (not perfect) and disagreements will happen; however they should not occur on a daily basis.
- He tells you he’s “waiting on God”: *Yet, he wishes to drag you along for years; as he waits on”Gods Big Answer” Which for a lack of better terms, is simply (a man afraid of any real commitment)
Now, I don’t know about you…but Chile’…That is just “toomuch“ confusion for me!
“Ain’t Nobody Got time fo’ dat!”
⭐️The bible says in •1 Corinthians 14:33“God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” And ladies…Instead of ‘jumping the gun‘ and allowing (temporary emotions) to cloud your judgement. How about nexttime *practice patience!* and give your “new found love,” time to reveal his true character…
Okay! Let’s move on!
2. Hell sent: “Apples and Oranges”(THE RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT FLOW!)
Flow: moving in or as in a stream; like “flowing water”; something that proceeds smoothly.
I was cordially invited over the phone to have lunch with a (guy) friend of mine.
So, here we are, having a casual lunch, catching up on whats been going on in our lives, and all of a sudden I hear him say…
“Takyah, I think you’re my wife.”
Inside my head I scream,
“DARN YOU GUS’S FRIED CHICKEN!!”
😂😜(I guess that’s what I get for loving food so much!)😜😂
Now, onto a more serious note.
After a few moments of gathering my thoughts. What exactly? would I say to this man to convince him that , I am NOT his wife! Still to this day I can’t figure out how he came to that conclusion…🤔
For one thing…..
We have absolutely NOTHING in common…I am apple’s🍎 and he is oranges🍊
Let me show you a few examples of what I mean:
- laid back, (mostly quiet)
- hate arguments (I always want things to go smoothly)
- funny (I love having a good time)
- romantic (but I’m saving all of those “romantic” ideas for hubby)
- giving (I don’t know, what it is, but I just love giving to people!)
- I lovemusic (especially old school)
- I enjoy cooking
- I love deep conversations (especially about God)
- and I lovereading books
Now let me show you his personality…
*But before I do this, please know; “I am trying to be as honest as I can without hurting any feelings, but for the sake of my ladies, I will not sugar coat anything! They will get thewholetruth! AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!
(Now back to the comparison chart) LOL…
- extremely hyper
- He loved talking (but it was never deep)
- He wasn’t romantic (AT ALL!!!)
Like do you see this picture below?? “Chile’ pleaseee” (in my southern accent) that wouldn’t happen in a million years!
Even when I cooked for him, as a friendly gesture, he never thought to say “thank you” “give flowers” or anything along that nature! He Just Came. Ate. Burped and left. Leaving me as a woman feeling unappreciated.
Not only that; but can you believe as we were eating, this man pulls out his phone and begins to talk…and it wasn’t your (“Hey, I’m busy can you call me back?”) type of conversation… Oh no, that’s understandable.
It was one of those…
(“MAN WHAT???!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! DIDN’T I TELL YOU THEY WAS GONE LOSE THE GAME!) kind of conversations….
I believe had I not pulled the “I’m sleepy routine” we would still be at dinner now.
So, do you see what I’m saying?
⭐If the relationship doesn’t flow, let him go!
Last but most certainly not least! This sign all by itself will let you know, how you as single woman can know 100% that this man did not come from God…
3. Hell sent: Compromising to be with him
Compromise: to make a dishonorable or shameful concession; a compromise of ones integrity.
- “Sex doesn’t sound too bad. right? I mean, after all we have grace.”
- “C’mon girl! You know we gonna’ get married! So, don’t try to be all holy on me! “Why you tryna’ hold out?”
One thing that, we as “single women” must always be prayerful and watchful for is wolves in sheep’s clothing!
Ladies… If you pay attention and take off the blinders (your emotions and hopes) It usually doesn’t take long to spot these kind of men…especially when you have discernment. Men who are only after one thing, can very well disguise themselves to look like they’re everything you’ve ever wanted. They’re extremely charming, suave, funny and for some ODD reason these kinds of men always leave your mind wondering…
but the devil is a liar!
Sista’, you better get to’ rebuking your mind and praying for discernment! Before you be looking like the girl in this picture…
- 1. He asks you things like “what turns you on physically?” (Such as: kissing, rubbing your neck (etc.)
- 2. He’s always commenting about how “sexy” you look (How big your butt is or how wide your hips are) He never compliments your inner qualities. It’s always on the outside.
- 3. He blurts out things like: “Girl if you was my wife, I would have you all over the place!” (Which by the way ladies, is not a compliment but is very inappropriate. (If you’re not married.) For one thing you’re not his wife and secondly he should not be looking at you in that manner!
⭐️Matthew 5:28 lets us know that “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
- 4. He texts you,”What are you wearing right now?” (The next time he texts you something like that, tell him you got on the full armour of God! I bet you that devil will stop texting then.)
- 5.He never asks you out on dates
Although, I hate to rain on your parade, I have to share with you, “Men are natural investors by nature. So, if he’s not pursuing you, by investing any money or time into the relationship, Just know you’re not the one he wants!
⭐️Note: Men who want more, do more! And. NO! Ma’am! Every single date WILL NOT be in secret!
So, there you go LADIES….and GENTS (who came out of curiosity!)
I pray that my blog helped you!
Feel free to comment and also share any tips that you might have yourself on, “How to spot HELL sent relationships!”
Love you all!!!!