Today, December 25, 2019 would’ve been my 1st Christmas with a Husband.

A long awaited day that I had been dreaming of for the past several years was finally about to come true.

I would cook us a Christmas dinner,

  • Turkey 🦃,
  • Dressing,
  • Lasagna,
  • Cornbread,
  • Greens 🥬,
  • Candied Yams,
  • Sweet Potato Pie,
  • Hand crafted Peach Tea and all. 😊


We would exchange gifts, play a few games, (Me Whooping him terribly of course) 😅.

And after the festivities?


I imagined we would cozy up by the fire, (if we had a fire place) drink hot cocoa with marshmallows, and just talk…

Such A Joy that would be…

Yep, I really thought 2019 would be my year.


God knew it wouldn’t be.

At least not for marriage, that is…

and Y’all,

To be Honest,

I’m happy it’s not!!!



When waiting on a promise from God,

we get tired of waiting,

tired of fasting,

tired of believing,

and ladies if I’m being honest…

WE just get plain old tired of constantly praying for a man who seems to have a broken watch & not know his cue’ was like 5 chapters ago 🤦‍♀️.

And, in that “tiredness”

we give up.

We try to take matters into our own hands, (as if we’re God) & we end up getting somebody (we know good-n-well is not our God ordained spouse) and try to make it work with them.


is what I almost did this year.. 😔

I was so tired of God’s timing that,

I was willing to give up part of my ordained destiny for a temporary satisfaction.

*Whew! 😓 That’ll preach!*

Even though, God was gently saying,

That’s Not it Takyah.

Or, “I have better for you daughter.

I kept disobeying His instructions…

And the question is,


Like, seriously y’all?

Why are we in such a RUSH (as a generation) to make it across an imaginary finish line?


What are we trying to Prove and who are we trying to prove it to?

Are we trying to win the “Who will get married first game?” that we’ve made up in our own little heads?

Is it the ticking of a biological time clock ⏰? (for those of us who want to start families)

Or is it simply because, we’re tired of friends & family members asking us every Holiday, when are we getting married?

Whatever the reason,

it’s NOT worth disobeying God…

I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear on Christmas,

but I gotta be honest.

We cannot allow ourselves to get in a place that’s so low and so lonely; we accept anything with legs that calls itself a help mate.


We must do better!

Better at holding one another up in our weak moments!

Better at being there for one another!

And better at pointing one another to Christ when we go through various temptations and tests.

(I am preaching to myself as well!)

The greatest lesson I’ve learned this year (in regards to relationships), is that we cannot put anyone in the place of our Husband, just because we’re tired.

It truly is a Sacred,

“GOD chosen” position.

& trust me when I say,

God has absolutely NO problem coming in and tearing stuff up, (to make sure we wait on who He has for us!) Especially, when He knows we’re making dumb decisions in our vulnerability.

The place of our Husband is “Ordained.”

And the timing to meet this man, (from God’s standpoint) will be The Perfect Timing.

And just like a tailored suit,

you will be perfectly Cut.

Just. For. Him.

He’s going to manifest as every prayer you’ve ever prayed,

every dream you’ve ever dreamt,

and every tear you’ve ever cried!

And AFTER receiving HIM…


It’s going to make so much sense why it didn’t work with anyone else.

All those lonely nights you didn’t let someone toxic get in your bed, (because you knew you deserved more.)

All those times you said “No” to numerous date offers (because you wanted “the will of God”) instead of any ole thing!

God HAS NOT forgotten any of it!


But for now Ladies,

My only request is that you focus on Jesus, your career and your passions!

Allow yourself to fall madly in love ❤️ with Jesus, get in His presence! Let Him Fill you up with His Word and mend every broken piece of your heart!

The last thing you want to do is go into a marriage carrying toxic leftovers & fears from your past relationships with you.

Your Future Hubby deserves more than that.

& Whatever you do,

PLEASE, don’t allow the frustrations of life,

cause you to SETTLE!

I know you’re tired, I know you’re weary, I know you’ve had enough, and every Holiday season Seems to be worse than the last.

But, at what costs do you want to be married sis?


My frustrations almost got me to make THE biggest mistake of my life!

Although, it would’ve been my FIRST CHRISTMAS with “A mate, he was not “MY MATE” from God..

Sure, I would’ve been able to have SEX.

Sure, I would’ve been able to say the H-U-S-B-A-N-D word.

But who’s life would I have altered through my disobedience?

How many people would be affected by one stupid decision I made while I was emotional, angry at someone else (if I’m being honest), bitter or trying to prove I’m worthy enough to be a Wife?

God already knows I’m worthy & that I’ll be a wife oneday! That’s why He placed the desire within me. And I’m Going to be a dang-on good wife! Ya heard me? (lol sorry, Memphis slang coming thru.)

However, the time for me to be “that wife” will be when God is ready for me to be that.

Yes it hurt, when God snatched this man out of my life, (& I had to call off our engagement only a few weeks after being proposed to) but just like a Bee 🐝 sting, the pain was Temporary.


So what 🤷🏽‍♀️, I can’t cook for a man wearing something cute!


Who cares???

I can cook for my family! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

So what 🤷🏽‍♀️ if I have to wait a little bit longer before I can “do the do.”


I’ve waited YEARS! Trust, I can wait some more.

So what 🤷🏽‍♀️ if I can’t say things like, “MY HUSBAND & I” are going to do blah, blah, blah,.


Who Am I competing with??

I’d rather be married to my (ordained Spouse) than to be married to the wrong person just so I can say a stupid title.

And NOW that I look back, only 4 months after our relationship ended, I am SO HAPPY The Lord shielded 🛑 me from what I thought I wanted!!

So, to the beautiful ladies in waiting,

🍷 I’d like to make a toast…


Here’s to,

Another Christmas🎄 Alone = ALL IN ONE! 😊😉

Surrounded by Friends,

Surrounded by Family,

Celebrating our Lord Jesus Christ!

To another year of mess ups and getting out of the will of God,

& Another Year of God loving us so much, that He snatches us right back up and Gently places us back in His will. (lol)

To MY Second Failed Engagement💍 ! (They say 3rd Times the Charm right?) 😂🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️


Here’s to getting one step closer to our destinies, and God guarding MY love life like a hawk guarding some food it’s about to eat for dinner!! 😑



To Another year of being Beautiful, Whole & Single

🎁Merry Christmas My Loves!🎁

Until next time!


❤️🎄Takyah Love🎄❤️

Oh and P.S. If you guys haven’t heard my Christmas song, here’s the link!! It’s fye🔥!!

Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel!!!

Thank you!!!

Okay bye y’all!!! Have a Merry Christmas!!!! 🎁🎄

Hey there ladies and gents!

This is your girl Takyah! Coming at you with a fresh order of deep thinking🤔.

Tonights deep thoughts will be served with a side order of anger 😡, topped off with hunger 😫 and sprinkled with just the right amount of crazy meds💊🤪.

I don’t know if it’s the medicine or what…

But I have been thinking very deeply and listening to Bobby Womack since this morning.

For those of you who don’t know, I had surgery earlier this morning and my mouth has been bleeding ever since! Not to mention I had to get stitches, because one of my gums ripped during the extraction. So, yes, I am in alot of pain.

Unless, of course, I take the medicine my doctor prescribed.

But, I haven’t been able to take the pain medicine properly because I haven’t eaten since 5 a.m. this morning.

And that!

ladies and gentlemen, is what inspired me to write this blog..

I’m lying in bed, sore & in pain, bleeding everywhere and no one is free to pick up soup for me to eat. My mom just left the house to go somewhere but I don’t think it was for soup…😢

Any way…

In my new blog, “Dear, Blind Married Couple” I’d like to discuss people who are blindly married and don’t realize how blessed they truly are.

To the ungrateful married woman & self-absorbed husband, I am coming for both of you, in this rendition of “Late Night Thoughts With Takyah” blog style.

⭐️NOTE TO READER: This is coming from a single woman who is on medication, hungry and in a lot of pain.⭐️

Now, I’m not using that as an excuse to get out of character, but you know what they say…. 👀

You’re not you when you’re hungry…

With that being said, this blog will not be nice.

Alright… ladies and gents,

Let’s get started!

First off, I’d like to start tonight’s blog off by saying two simple words…


You ole’ nagging wife!

Your husband pays the bills,


Keeps a roof over your family’s head

Goes to work everyday,

Rubs your feet when their hurting,


Pulls up the car for you when it’s storming outside ☔️ (so you don’t get wet in the rain)


And been faithful to you and only you.

He’s nothing short of a God-sent superhero husband!

He opens up doors for you so much that if you stood at a door 🚪 (without him opening it), you probably wouldn’t even know how to turn the freakin’ handle.

He pays for you to get your hair done, your nails done, as well as all those random shopping sprees you and your girls like to have.

Not to mention how he caters to you and makes you feel in the love department…


He’s also a man who cares for you, and gives you the best wisdom in all your “I’m about to go Loca!” moments.

You know what else he does?

He sits, and listens to your random rants, whether he wants to hear them or not.

And even after you’ve hurt his pride by comparing him to Tina’s husband, He’s still brainstorming ideas and trying to come up with the next thing he can do to make you happy.

When you needed help opening up all those stupid airtight pickle jars, he was right there! All big and strong like Tarzan! Ready to do anything you asked. You used to praise him for his efforts and call him your Hero.

But now?


He’s just not that important to you anymore huh?

That’s because you take him for granted, you selfish, nagging wife..

It’s almost as if you forgot who he truly is..


Your KING.


Oh, and let’s not forget you,

You arrogant husband!

And how unappreciative you are towards the woman who cooks for you


Cleans the house for you,

Has your clothes washed, folded and Starched clean so you can look sharp everyday.


Let’s not forget how she has to get a job every now & then to help out with the bills because, although you make a lot of money, you’re not so frugal when it comes to it..

Oops did I say that?

Hmm… I guess I did!

The wife you are so unappreciative of, has to work, get home from that job, get the children ready, feed you, feed them, clothe them, clothe you and send you all off to work and school happily every morning.

 After all of that chaos, she then tries to get some “Me-Time” but realizes “Oh no, I can’t today because my husband wants me to go run a couple errands for him! Or, “I promised the kids I would have lunch with them today!”

Me time will just have to wait for another day she says.

Yet “Me time” never comes. But I guess as long as dinner is on the table by the time your favorite football team comes on, you could care less about her getting the time she needs to rejuvenate her soul, mind and body.


You never take the time out to spend with your wife or listen to her, you reject her continuously in the areas of “quality time”, yet you want her to be ready to make love to you whenever you feel like it.

Pssh….. give me a break.

Your wife changed her hair color, lost 20 pounds and even tried this new lipstick color just so you could call her beautiful like you used to when the two of you first started dating,

And what did you do?


You walked right past her and didn’t even open your mouth.


Some nerve you got?

Comparing her to all those superficial women, while you yourself have a belly that sticks out worse than a busted lip.

She, your beautiful wife, stood by you when you were sick, broke & helped you become the very man that you are today and you have the audacity to think you could have married someone better…

I’d love to see how fast one of those pretty little models you like so much, leave you as soon as you get sick, or can’t walk.

Let’s see how long one of them will stay?


That’s right! Two seconds and she’s gone Charles!!!

What’s my point in all of this?

My point is, if you are married, wishing you could be single,…

Shut up and make it work with your spouse because honestly,

As selfish, arrogant, and undeserving as you sound,

You wouldn’t last one day as a “Real Single

Although you think it’s so much easier, I beg to differ. True singleness is not selfishness. In fact, true singleness has the same purpose that marriage does, and that is to be holy like Jesus Christ and serve the Father.

I’m not talking about “single people” who have 10 different partners and sleep around every weekend, neither am I referring to the ones that have 8 Bae’s they call “Boo”.

Oh no sweetie…

I’m talking about a real single….

A single godly woman who actually lives what she preaches,

Who by the way, is lying in the bed right now with gauzes in her mouth, angrily hungry because there is no one to get soup for her!


No bae to call, no boo to text.

But a real “Waiting on God’s best for me” single woman.

Not a fake woman of God, who keeps abusing the grace message, so she can keep throwing it back for every man of God that steps to her.

Oh, no…I’m speaking of a real single who has kept herself to herself and is BEYOND sexually frustrated!

Who’s also, extremely upset because while she was running in the rain, her stupid umbrella broke and flipped upside down! Causing her whole head to get drenched!

And guess what’s coming next if she doesn’t hurry up and get out of these wet clothes?

A nasty cold…

And guess who’ll help nurse this single woman back to health if that happens?



Yes, I’m talking about a real single..

A woman who pumps her own gas ⛽️, shovels her own snow during the winter time; who almost messed up her car, cause she put the windshield fluid in the wrong hole/pipe or whatever you call those stupid things under the hood!

If you’re ungrateful.

and married to the person you once swore was the love of your life.

My word for you tonight is,

S-H-U-T  U-P!

Yes, being single has its freedom and perks, but lets not forget all the downs it has as well. “Focus on God” all the married women advise, while they go home to a warm bed with big arms to hold them at night and a big chest to sleep on.

You’re not loving yourself enough!”

You need to find out who you are first then you can love a man properly!”

“Enjoy you some you time before you get married.”

Just shut- up! I’ve done all those things already!

If I love myself any more, I’ll be standing here looking like this “coo-coo” bird who married herself a few years ago.

married herself

How much prayer did you pray to become an ungrateful wife?

How much anointing do I have to have to be a wife like you?

Oh do tell, you nag of a married woman, who complains every 5 seconds about her husband.

I would love to see you last a month without being able to touch a man. Try 5 years going on 6 next May..

Cry yourself to sleep for months on end,

Wake up in the middle of the night wanting to do what your body naturally wants to do and refuse it!

Go years sitting at a restaurant table by yourself eating alone.

Then come back and give me advice…

I swear I wish I could do this to all of you ungrateful married folk!

Married women, shut up.

Married men, shut up.

Listen to Bobby Womack, and while you’re listening to him, I want you to look at your spouse and realize one thing for me tonight..

Just how blessed you are


The Real Singles,

Who are frustrated, angry, pissed off to the highest level of “PISSTIVITY”, hungry, and VERY MUCH anointed women and men of God!


***Update: 9:00 P.M.***

Ahhhh my mommy did get me Potato soup! Two bowls of it! One for tonight and one for tomorrow! I love her so much! Thanks ma! 🙂

Finding friends in today’s society can seem very hard. Trust me! I’ve been praying to God for almost 4 years now to send me a best friend!

I imagine this friend to be a woman I could talk to about anything, pray with, fast with, go shopping with, tell my deepest thoughts to & someone I could trust. 

The only problem is, when you’ve been alone for so long. (like I have) It can become difficult to discern who’s legit and who’s not.

In today’s blog, “Discerning Between a Friend and a Foe.” I want to help you discern between a true friend & a person who’s simply posing as one.

Let’s jump right into it!

Characteristics of a FOE: 

Foe: a person who feels enmity, hatred, or malice toward another; enemy: a thing that is harmful to or destructive of something.

A while ago there was this lady who told me she was “sent” to be my friend; because I was going through such a vulnerable time, I allowed this person to come into my life, without running it by God. *big mistake*

⭐️NOTE: watch people closely who say “they’re sent to be in your life” its true that people are sent; but WHO sent them is the real question.

Before I knew it, her problems became my problems. I was helping her out, doing what I could to make sure she was okay. Basically, I’d become her “go to girl! Which was fine! That’s what friends are for! Right? 

However, when she no longer needed me, she threw me to the curb, stopped calling me, stopped hanging out with me and to top it off, disclosed everything we’d talked about in secret to other people. I was hurt greatly but I definitely learned my lesson!

Here’s what I learned:

  • A Foe will always come into your life and bring drama with them. (If someone comes into your life & it seems all Hell is coming with them, ask God if you should get involved. If he doesn’t respond, pray for them & send them on their merry way! Do not mistake God’s silence as his way of saying “yes” to helping them. You cannot help everybody sis!) 
  • A Foe will use you & throw you away like a used napkin. (Ask yourself, am I always helping them? Am I always giving out to them? If so, try saying “NO.” a few times & see if they’ll stick around. If not, *pat yourself on the back 👏🏽, you just exposed them for who they really are.) 
  • Do they talk about everyone else in their life, and then go play victim? (If they can’t keep their mouths off of the very people they claim they love, then what do you think they’re going to say about you once their done using you? Remember sis, God doesn’t deal in gossip or mess. Be very careful of someone who keeps their mouths on others.)

  • A Foe will not support you. (Watch their faces when you speak about your dreams or accomplishments. Do they smile & support you? Or do they get really quiet and never respond. Watch that sis! One thing I’ve learned, is that jealousy is hard to hide.)
  • A Foe is on a mission to distract & destroy. (What is the purpose of this new friendship? Are they helping you become a better you? Are they pushing you closer to your destiny? Or are they being used as a distraction by the enemy, to get you off course? Find out what they’re here for! And find out quick! If they’re not helping you, chances are they’re hurting you.)

⭐️NOTE: Do not allow people to just waltz into your life without any explanation of why they’re there.

  • A Foe will compete with you. (Instead of being happy for you they will compete with everything you do.) 

Let me give you an example: 

Tina: Hey, Clarice! I have to speak somewhere and I really want you to be there! You think you can come?

Clarice: Yes girl! I’ll be there! (But instead of them showing up, they make up an excuse) 

Scenario #2

Tina: Girl you see this new phone I got! Isn’t it cute?

Clarice: Doesn’t say anything. She simply goes out the next day & buys the same phone. Then shows it to Tina.

Scenario #3

Tina: I think God wants me to write a book!

Clarice: Yeah, he told me the same thing! I’m about to write one too!

Ladies, You get the picture! Foe’s constantly compete with you! They don’t know how to be happy for you because they’re not happy with themselves or their own lives!

Real friends do not compete, they complete each other! We all have different purposes & different destinies. As a friend, It is my job to encourage and help my friends reach their destination! There is no competition in the kingdom of God or a God-ordained relationship.

Characteristics of a FRIEND:

Friend: a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard: a person who is not hostile.

  • Friends pour into each other selflessly. (They do it without wanting something in return.)
  • Friends tell the truth. (They would never lie on you or lie to you.) 
  • Friends are there when you’re up and when you’re down. When people praise you & when they curse you. (If they’re happy when you have a downfall. Or if they can never celebrate with your accomplishments, check them. Real friends don’t do that.)

⭐️Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

  •  Friends support you. (Not just in word but in deed. If you have endeavors and this person who claims to be your friend never shows up to support you. Something is wrong.) 
  • Friends are honest. (There is a difference between honesty & being rude. If they always have negative things to say. Pay attention. Are they really being honest? Or are they spewing out hate in subtle ways.) 
  • Friends will never sabotage your life. (If something good comes are they always speaking against it? You’ve recently met this great man and your friend is constantly speaking against him, because there’s no one in her life. Or maybe, you just started a new project and your friend is telling you to do something else because to her “that’s not for you.”) 

⭐️ NOTE: Foe’s love to sabotage your life and dress it up like “they’re concerned.” Be watchful of that spirit sis! 

It’s one thing, for a friend to give you honest counsel and tell you maybe it’s not the right time for that or to wait on God.
However, if they’re constantly downplaying everything you set your mind to do! Chances are, they’re not a friend!

If God tells you to do something, do it sis! Real friends understand the call that God placed on your life.

They will never dishonor you or try to control who God created you to be!

Okay, that’s all for today ladies! 

Comment if you could relate to this blog or if it helped you out

Until next time my loves! 😘

I pray you all have a wonderful September🍂

Also, if you haven’t seen my new video on YouTube! Here’s the link:

Hey ladies!

I know I haven’t written to you girls in a while! I’ve been finishing this newbook that is going to change your life! Ahhh!!! I’m so excited to spill the details!

However…since the bible says, be hasty for nothing! I won’t say a word! No matter how much I want to!! Simply know, it’s going to be the bomb💥!! As it get’s closer to the release date, I’ll discuss more of the details then!

Okay, let’s get to it!

“Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” 


⭐️NOTE: A Prince talks more than he moves and speaks more than he listens.  A prince is always telling you what you want to hear, instead of telling you what you need to hear!

And what you need to hear is, THE TRUTH!

Rarely, will he tell you the truth about him, his finances, his life or anything!

Matter of fact, you might’ve been dating this man for over 6 months now and you’re still unsure of EXACTLY WHO HE IS!?! Why??? Because he lies so much, that it’s hard to decipher between when he’s lying and when he’s actually telling the truth! At this point, you don’t know WHAT TO BELIEVE!? The first day you met him, was a Cop & now…. He’s a Power Ranger?

While on the flip side!..

⭐️NOTE: A King 👑 not only tells you the truth. But he doesn’t even speak, until he’s sure he can fulfill whatever promise he’s about to make to you. 

A King may not have all those “fancy” words and romantic gestures that a “prince charming” has. But when he grabs you by the hand, looks you in your eye and tells you, “Baby, I got you, I’m going to do it.” You can bet Alllll your money on it


Because a King is a man of order & priority.
He knows how it feels to be let down. And if he cares for you, the very last thing he would ever want to do is tell you something and not come through for you!!

                2. HE’S SO ROMANTIC 💏

A prince never minds this! He thrives off of it!


Because his number one☝🏽goal is to get you in bed sweetie! He uses charm & his romantic routine to try to get you going!

I wish a brother would come with some “Candles lit, Rose pettles 🥀 all on the floor, Doves 🕊 flying out of the cage at Dinner. Whip cream, Strawberries and Cherries🍒?!?” (And we ain’t married)

MANNNN If You Don’t Get This Stuff Outta’ Here! I’MA CALL MY DADDY!! And you Bets’ believe (Memphis slang) He gone’ have them horses and chariots waiting for you outside Playa! (yeah don’t play with me) lol…

Ladies c’mon!!!

A prince‘s whole world is revolved around pleasing himself!! He’s not into you! How many “other” women do you think he’s done those very same things with before you??

Being romantic is not buying you a Matching “bra and panties set” from Victoria’s SecretHe’s actually demeaning you and saying to himself (or to his boys), “I ain’t got to do much for her, Ima take her to Waffle House, Taco Bell or some like that, buy her some cute panties, a cheap movie and I got her.

Sis…Do you really think so low of yourself?!?
You are special and should not be treated like a midnight rendezvou!! A King 👑 will not take “sex” and dress it up like its “romance.” He will buy you flowers, pay for your food, he won’t wait around until your clothes start to have holes in them (before he starts to buy you some new ones), & if you fall on hard times he will make sure that your lights are paid for and that your cell phone is kept on…..


Anyone there?? 

See, Honey, I’m talking about a King

I’m talking about a man that will make you a (home-made card) from scratch. And even though it looks like a 5 year old made the card. 😂😉 When you open the card & burst into laughter. That’s what makes his day! (He just loves seeing you smile)

A King will take his hand, rub your hair to put your hair back in place. Simply because you had a few pieces sticking up.

A King is a man who will tell you, “Baby you got lettuce in your teeth.” Instead of letting you walk around all day looking like this. ⤵️

                     Ladies pay attention!!! 👀

A King will never pretend with you! If he likes you, he’ll let you know. If he doesn’t he won’t waste your time.


Because…..That’s Just Who He Is! 

He’s been real with you from the beginning!

He’s never fronted with you!

He doesn’t have to put up this fake facade like he’s this “suavebillionaire GQ Man, 
neither does he ma
feel like you should be lucky to be with him! No ma’am. Instead, a King will look at you and thank God for you because he knows that, just like a good man is hard to come by,

So is a Good Woman…..

Okay ladies! 

That is all for now!

I pray this all helped you!

If you want me to make a “Part 2” to this blog! Comment below and let me know!

Until next time!!!

Love you!!! 

🌸Takyah Love

There’s something about being called Beautiful that a woman loves to hear. No matter how young or old you are, being given such a compliment can put a smile on your face.

But what is beauty exactly??

Do we equate it with the superficial

  • Is it jewelry? 💍
  • Is it makeup?💄
  • Is it hair? 👩🏽

Sadly, we’ve been conditioned that beauty is (one who has it all together on the outside). However, God’s word paints quite a different portrait! In this blog,“Beauty from Within” we will discuss two separate but syncretic categories and walk through how to invest in a lasting genuine beauty that continues to blossom with time, vs. the superficial alternatives that fade just as we do…

Okay, here we go!

💄 Beauty for our personal wellbeing💄

How’s about starting with a testimony? 

Back in the day…and yes I said back in the day! (lol) I’m actually referring to a time when I knew very little about inner beauty. Let’s just say your girl Takyah…was kind of a mess.
Due to the fact that I dealt with low self-esteem, I found myself always trying to do things to make my outer appearance “beautiful”. Meanwhile neglecting the one thing that needed a total do-over! (my spirit).

I accented my lips, showed off my hips and painted my finger tips. Yet, to my amazement, after all that prepping and watching endless hours of makeup tutorials; I would somehow still feel unworthy of the title “beautiful”. And you know what? I was right! Honey, there was not a makeup pallet in the world that could cover over all those soul blemishes!

It wasn’t until I began to spend time with the Lord, read his word and ask him to transform me completely that I truly became beautiful!
Don’t believe me????

Okay here’s proof!Here’s a picture of me back in May of 2013, when I was focusing on my outside appearance!

Ughh😑… didn’t I look terrible though?

I had on foundation, thick lipstick, my chest practically hanging out in that bra-like cut off shirt, black eyeliner, eyelashes, a nose ring & I still wasn’t beautiful or happy…
Not to mention I had a dark countenance.

Now fast forward 3 years and I’m going to show you a picture that was just taken of me a few days ago!  

In this picture I barely have on any foundation, no liner, no eyelashes and I’m only wearing lipgloss.                  

I know!!! Crazy right???

I’m telling you sis! Nothing is prettier than a woman who gives herself wholeheartedly to God! There is just a certain beauty and glow that comes from spending time with him, that no makeup brush could ever give!

⭐️ 1 Peter 3:3-4Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Moving On…

Now that we’ve discussed “Beauty for our spiritual well being” let’s dig deeper and take a closer look at “Beauty when it comes to dating…         

Beauty VS. Vanity in Dating💄

  •  Vanity: excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; lack of real value; pointless.
  • Beauty: quality; grace; something excellent of its kind; a person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.

When dating a real man… 
Okay..I want all my “I want a husband right now” sista’s especially to pay attention!! 
When dating any real man first things first. No man wants a woman who’s obsessively vain. I don’t care how much you think your looks and your charm will keep you at the forefront of that mans mind. If that’s all you’re bringing to the table eventually, especially (if the man is wise) he will begin to look elsewhere for a mate.

⭐️Note: The reason why I said (if he is wise he will look elsewhere) this is because there are actually men out there who are just as shallow as those women can sometimes be. They will marry a beautiful fool, just so she can be a trophy for all his boys to see.

Ladies trust me…you don’t want a man that only wants you for your looks because when another woman comes along, who’s slightly prettier, you will find yourself angry with the decision you made to be with him.

I want to share a chart with you..

On one side you have Brenda and on the other you have Lisa. Let’s take a look at the differences in both women.

  • 💁🏻Brenda is drop dead gorgeous, she is a homeowner, car lease in good standing, her business is off the ground and booming, she’s got a brick house body and a credit score of 757!

•However, her character..not so much•

  • she has a smart mouth, she’s tit for tat with a man,(meaning if he missed one call of hers she’s going to ignore three of his calls on purpose) she’s insecure,(going through her man’s phone, checking his work jacket & texts him a million times whenever he’s out of her sight) she’s prideful, she won’t submit, she’s boastful about who she’s become, she’s self centered and not to mention bratty if things don’t go her way.


  • 👩🏽 Lisa is cute, she still lives with her dad, works at a clothing store, has no car, she has her dreams written out on paper and is working toward them (but for now we’ll say they’re just dreams) she has a nice body (just not as nice as Brenda’s), her credit score is 525.

Her character on the other hand is the opposite of Brenda’s! She is extremely pleasant

  • she’s peaceful, relatablefun to be around, loving, serves others well, respects as well as listens to her man, she’s reserved (doesn’t open her mouth telling her friends every time there’s trouble in paradise), she’s trustworthy and trusts him, she encourages him, makes a hot plate and does it all with a smile on her face.

Now I hate to say this, but quite commonly these”Barking Brenda’s” become very angry when they see their dream prince put the glass slipper on a common “Lisa”.

Women like Brenda are focused on so many  things such as (their social media status, buying a house and becoming an independent woman) That by the time they realize they want a husband, “they’re now 40 years old with a wall full of degrees, a pet cat 🐱 named “Foo-Fee“and a baddd attitude.. Meanwhilethe good men they passed up while chasing their dreams, have been happily married to a Lisa for over ten years.

Now please don’t misunderstand me ladies! There is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing higher education! As a matter of fact, I commend all the women that have obtained alumni status!!! It takes a lot to hang in there!  👏🏽🎓
However, just be careful that you don’t allow vanity and pride to seep into your accomplishments, making you lose sight of what a wife really is! Although a degree may help you in the business world, it will not help you to become a good wife.

Honestly, if you truly want to be married, you should sit under some old wives who’ve been *Happily*married for 15-50 years. Pleaseee don’t get around some bitter old nagging woman whose husband sleeps in a different bedroom than hers! Honey please… the only advice that woman can give you is what not to do in a marriage. Chile‘… I wish my husband would say to me:

I’m sleeping in the other room tonight cause I’m mad right now!”

Me: Grabs a pillow and follows him.

“Okayyy…well….I’m coming in there with you until you forgive me!”

Ima sit on your lap and everything! 

And don’t let me make the “Do you forgive me now” face… 
I don’t care what I have to do!Anger will not take root in me and my future hubbys house! The Bible says, we are to pursue peace with all men and that is what I intend to do…

                                 Any who

I want to end with this, there is nothing wrong with makeup, bodily exercise or wearing nice things. As a matter of fact, I pray that you invest in your outer appearance! Please, don’t walk around here SHOT to the United States saying,”Sista Takyah told us not to wear makeup,” The devil is a liar! You better put that makeup on! You know Mac and Maybelline have been good to you! Lol…
All I’m saying is, while taking an hour out of each day, just to”beat your face” make sure you’re putting that same amount of energy and time into your spiritual well being!

Once again it has been my absolute pleasure writing to you all!!!

P.S. Below is a song that I thought would be perfect for this topic! It’s amazing!
Click the link below to hear the song!
🎧Make me Over by TONEX🎧

I Look forward to hearing the responses from you Ladies!!

Love you girl!!


Takyah Love

Its amazing to see and hear some of the explanations that women give just to hold onto a man. Even when all the signs are telling you he’s not the one. I’ve counseled women, went into debates (not purposely) and even had to slap a few of my “Christian Sistas” back into reality when it came to dating a man!

Through their personal experiences I have witnessed, “bad break-ups, Love stories that quickly went sour, and the situations I grieve the most…My Sista’s who fall into sin because this time the devil came talking the bible and wearing a church suit.. So, before you get all “lovey dovey and “I’s fina get married now!”  I want to share with you, Three Ways to Know if a Man isHeaven” sent or“HELL” sent!

1. Hell sent: “Confusion”

Confusion: chaos; lack of clearness; a disturbed mental state.

Any relationship that confuses you is not of God! One of the many promises that we, as children of God, have a right to obtain is peace! So, why in Heaven,…. would “GOD“(our loving daddy) send us a mate who is just downright confusing???

Let me show you what I mean

  • His mood is ALWAYS changing: *meaning he’s very unstable and incapable of running a family.
  • You feel no peace when you’re with him
  • He’s confuses you about what he wants in a relationship: *one day he’s speaking marriage and the next, he pretends as if he doesn’t even know you.
  •  You break up and make-up: *although we understand that relationships are (not perfect) and disagreements will happen; however they should not occur on a daily basis.
  • He tells you he’s “waiting on God”: *Yet, he wishes to drag you along for years; as he waits on”Gods Big Answer” Which for a lack of better terms, is simply (a man afraid of any real commitment)

Now, I don’t know about you…but Chile’…That is just “toomuch confusion for me!

“Ain’t Nobody Got time fo’ dat!”

⭐️The bible says in •1 Corinthians 14:33“God is not the author of confusion but of peace.”  And ladies…Instead of ‘jumping the gun‘ and allowing (temporary emotions) to cloud your judgement. How about nexttime *practice patience!* and give your new found love,” time to reveal his true character…

Okay! Let’s move on!

2. Hell sent: “Apples and Oranges”(THE RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT FLOW!)

Flow: moving in or as in a stream; like “flowing water”; something that proceeds smoothly.

I remember last Autumn; sitting in one of my favorite places to eat! Gus’s fried chicken! Yummy!!! 🙂

I was cordially invited over the phone to have lunch with a (guy) friend of mine.

So, here we are, having a casual lunch, catching up on whats been going on in our lives, and all of a sudden I hear him say…

“Takyah, I think you’re my wife.” 

Inside my head I scream,


😂😜(I guess that’s what I get for loving food so much!)😜😂

Now, onto a more serious note.  

After a few moments of gathering my thoughts. What exactly? would I say to this man to convince him that , I am NOT his wife! Still to this day I can’t figure out how he came to that conclusion…🤔

For one thing…..

We have absolutely NOTHING in common…I am apple’s🍎 and he is oranges🍊

Let me show you a few examples of what I mean:

My Personality:

  • laid back, (mostly quiet)
  • hate arguments (I always want things to go smoothly)
  • funny (I love having a good time)
  • romantic (but I’m saving all of those “romantic” ideas for hubby)
  • giving (I don’t know, what it is, but I just love giving to people!)
  • I lovemusic (especially old school)
  • I enjoy cooking
  • I love deep conversations (especially about God)
  • and I lovereading books

Now let me show you his personality…

*But before I do this, please know; “I am trying to be as honest as I can without hurting any feelings, but for the sake of my ladies, I will not sugar coat anything! They will get thewholetruth!  AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!  

(Now back to the comparison chart) LOL…

His Personality:

  • extremely hyper
  • He loved talking (but it was never deep)
  • He wasn’t romantic (AT ALL!!!)

 Like do you see this picture below?? “Chile’ pleaseee(in my southern accentthat wouldn’t happen in a million years!


Even when I cooked for him, as a friendly gesture, he never thought to say “thank you” “give flowers” or anything along that nature! He Just CameAte. Burped and left. Leaving me as a woman feeling unappreciated.

Not only that; but can you believe as we were eating, this man pulls out his phone and begins to talk…and it wasn’t your (“Hey, I’m busy can you call me back?”) type of conversation… Oh no, that’s understandable.  

It was one of those…


I believe had I not pulled the “I’m sleepy routine” we would still be at dinner now.

  So, do you see what I’m saying?

If the relationship doesn’t flow, let him go! 

Point. Blank.Simple.


Last but most certainly not least!  This sign all by itself will let you know, how you as single woman can know 100% that this man did not come from God…

3. Hell sent: Compromising to be with him

Compromise: to make a dishonorable or shameful concession; a compromise of ones integrity.

  • “Sex doesn’t sound too bad. right? I mean, after all we have grace.”
  • C’mon girl! You know we gonna’ get married! So, don’t try to be all holy on me! “Why you tryna’ hold out?”

One thing that, we as “single women” must always be prayerful and watchful for is wolves in sheep’s clothing!  

Ladies… If you pay attention and take off the blinders (your emotions and hopes) It usually doesn’t take long to spot these kind of men…especially when you have discernment. Men who are only after one thing, can very well disguise themselves to look like they’re everything you’ve ever wanted.  They’re extremely charming, suave, funny and for some ODD reason these kinds of men always leave your mind wondering…

but the devil is a liar!  

Sista’, you better get to’ rebuking your mind and praying for discernment! Before you be looking like the girl in this picture…


  • 1. He asks you things like “what turns you on physically?”  (Such as: kissing, rubbing your neck (etc.)
  • 2. He’s always commenting about how “sexy” you look (How big your butt is or how wide your hips are) He never compliments your inner qualities. It’s always on the outside.
  • 3. He blurts out things like: “Girl if you was my wife, I would have you all over the place!” (Which by the way ladies, is not a compliment but is very inappropriate. (If you’re not married.) For one thing you’re not his wife and secondly he should not be looking at you in that manner!

⭐️Matthew 5:28 lets us know that “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

  •   4. He texts you,”What are you wearing right now?” (The next time he texts you something like that, tell him you got on the full armour of God! I bet you that devil will stop texting then.)
  •   5.He never asks you out on dates

Although, I hate to rain on your parade, I have to share with you, “Men are natural investors by nature. So, if he’s not pursuing you, by investing any money or time into the relationship,  Just know you’re not the one he wants!

⭐️Note: Men who want more, do more! And. NO! Ma’am! Every single date WILL NOT be in secret!

So, there you go LADIES….and GENTS (who came out of curiosity!)

I pray that my blog helped you!

Feel free to comment and also share any tips that you might have yourself on, “How to spot HELL sent relationships!”

Love you all!!!!
💋Takyah Love